021201, 1610hr, illinois time.

i fell into a blackhole, got pulled into strips of meat spaghetti, travelled to another part of the universe or another universe maybe i don't know, just got back this morning, and therefore couldn't come update my journal. righto.

my mood isn't very much improved, i've not done much work since the last time i whined about the amount of work to be done, and actually i had some fun friday and saturday night. i could have written about any of those. or how about the fact that yesterday was world aids day? oh yes, but i did write about world aids day. but it ain't here, it's on this other corner of my website. though i would have written about it anyway, i think it's a wonderful idea to have online journallers and bloggers all write about it - the think and link project:

by the way, i do feel like i got pulled into strips of meat spaghetti, i do. pulled by my internal frustrations and restlessness. don't ask me to explain why i'm feeling this way, i just am. alvin thinks it's pms, but it's not. sweet of him to ask though. haha..

*****

my weekend began on friday. alvin made plans for a guys night out, so i couldn't join in. i had ushering anyway, i couldn't ask them to accomodate my plans even if i had wanted to join in. but anyway, it felt a little strange being abandoned by alvin. he went out for dinner without me too, i had instant noodles at home. i had planned to go home after my ushering, be a good girl and get some work done. so when alvin comes back, i can show that i can live without him anyway. haha. but in the end, by some twist of fate, i went to the girls' apt instead to hang out, and i'm glad. come to think of it, if i had gone home, i would probably have wound up wallowing in self-pity the whole time.

instead, at the girls' place, we had a great conversation about all the fun girly topics. whose bodies are hot. which part of a girl's body is the sexiest. whether guys surf porn all the time. bra-shopping experiences. farting. it was so fun i almost wished i didn't have to leave, but my eyes were starting to hurt, and i figured alvin should already be home and i didn't want to have him fall asleep before i get to talk to him. gosh, i need to stop thinking about him all the time.

*****

on satuday, got through the tau beta pi initiation process, decided not to go for their banquet, but instead went for the Diwali Night dinner organised by the indian students association with priya and my coworkers. i decided i really like indian food. the program was quite interested, though the whole dinner was a little too long - it didn't end till 11.30pm. 3 things i really enjoyed - hot indian guys, beautiful costumes, and the indian dances.

i was seated facing the main entrance, so i had a clear view of all the people coming in. and man, indian guys can be darn hot! of course, priya had her eyes fixed on the those guys too. coincidentally, the guy sitting next to her was quite cute, and plus he's actually really friendly too so priya and he had a comfortable chat. how come i never get to sit next to a cute chinese guy at random events like this. sigh. oh yes, and i met one of my bisexual friends there, which was funny, cos i know he's always had a weakness for hot guys and the place was practically swarming with handsome dudes. at the end of the program, we stood side by side, as he did commentary of how this particular guy had a nice tight butt. man, intensive guy-watching.

i loved the indian costumes too. i knew this would be a dress up event, but i wasn't really in the mood to look pretty, so i just went in a black top, black skirt, black stockings and black boots - i call it my black-clothes-black-face look. haha. and when i got there, i immediately felt underdressed - everyone else was there in these glittery beautiful colorful costumes, really pretty. priya had to explain the different types of costumes to me, and i found out that the sari that i wore for performance in primary school wasn't the complete traditional sari - it was actually just a half-sari. and priya promised to bring me shopping for a sari in singapore next summer. heh.

the indian dances were really exciting too. remember i mentioned i liked happy dances - the indian dances were happy too. and my memories of my primary school dancing career were revived. haha. i was dancing chinese dance most of the time, but cooperative projects were quite common among the chinese, malay and indian dance clubs, so i also learnt malay and indian dance steps. i never got chosen to do the malay dance parts though, so i never wore a baju. instead, i wore the sari [or rather, half-sari] to do the indian dance parts. i remember being so embarrassed wearing that, cos my waist was exposed, and i had no waist. hahahaha... those were the times. i wish i still remember the indian dance steps, or the chinese dance steps. i always thought ethnic dances are more colorful than others. if only rgs had a chinese dance club, i would have continued dancing. i could have join dance club with all the funky cool girls, but i didn't dare because i used to think i was short fat ugly and stupid. and yes, that was the end of my chinese dance experience.

*****

i wish i had the mood to write all these down as they happened, i'm sure i would have done a better job capturing the moment. unfortunately, the moments are already gone, because i was too lazy and depressed to turn my computer on to type. sigh. i'm such a bum.