151001, 0129hr, illinois time.

i've been wanting to talk about this for some time now. i saw this pretty asian girl last week, while i was sitting in green st coffee house, studying for my exams. god, i was so distracted, stealing glances at her, who was sitting just diagonally across the table from me, i couldn't concentrate on my book at all. finally, she left with her friend, to go to her boyfriend's place to print some stuff, or something like that. [yes, i'm despicable, i even eavesdropped, but hey, i couldn't help it, they were just next to me ok.]

in my attempt to justify looking at her, i consciously thought about what made her so pretty. i also thought about the girls who i have admired before, wondering what they have in common. and i've come up with 3 traits that seem important. to me, at least. probably guys have a different set of criteria altogether. i wonder if they will agree with me, that a pretty girl should have 1) a good complexion; 2) a delicate but distinctive cheekbone structure; and 3) eyes that sparkle.

i believe there's a reason for each criterion. i rationalised everything, it all made sense. see, a good complexion is important, because it makes a girl's face more tempting to caress, more babylike, more gentle. it also tends to glow with this degree of radiance that just seems hampered by rough skin. such as mine. sigh. have you seen girls who have skin so smooth, it seems almost translucent. it's a coincidence that smooth skin tend to be fairer too, probably because tanned skin tend to be slightly damaged by weather elements, UV rays, whatever, and appear to be drier and rougher. there's still this very superficial insinuation of a girl being more fragile when she looks fair and precious, and therefore prettier, like a doll. an ex-classmate looks really pretty, and another friend described to me before that she looked like a doll. a glass one...wow, wonderful imagery.

the cheekbone structure is important, because it gives the face more character, more definition. some girls tend to look "flat", especially asian girls, and i personally don't like that kind of look, because it appears more prone to lifelessness. like the girl is too thin, and couldn't grow a little more flesh on her cheeks or something. though of course i know that's a ridiculous inference, it's just a natural connotation, i don't understand why either. besides, a definite cheekbone structure tends to accentuate her eyes, by creating this contour that naturally makes the eyes appear bigger. i think so anyway, no scientific or cosmetic basis for this statement.

ah, i loved that girl's eyes, they were beautiful, truly. they weren't huge, or anything, but they sparkled. i can't quite describe it, but i think a pretty face has to be more than a combination of flesh and bone, but also a certain meaning. and the eyes always seem to tell a story. her eyes sparkled like she was thinking of something funny, like she was curious about something, like she was really happy. very intriguing. i think that's partly the reason i rarely find any actress or celebrity really pretty, especially looking at printed pictures of them on magazines or the papers. cos taking pictures have become a job so common and possibly tiresome to them, their eyes don't serve to tell stories anymore, they just serve to look at the camera and be seductive, or something, depending on what magazine you're talking about. haha.

i was out with alvin for dinner last night, and the waitress who served us was also quite pretty. in the more exotic spanish/latin way, i guess. i commented to alvin that she was pretty, but he went reluctantly, "eh yeah, a bit, i guess." apparently my sense of beauty is different from his. hmm. he was quite intrigued by my tendency to look at girls though. i'm sure i'm not the only straight girl who likes to admire other pretty girls. personally, i just feel that pretty girls are a work of art. they deserve to be admired, because they can be. it's quite difficult to admire a guy simply as a superficial display of beauty, because they're really not designed that way. i think guys are to be admired through interaction, through finding out more about their character, strength and wisdom, because that is where their charm and beauty lies. though i always talk of admiring cute guys, very few guys really manage to hold my attention for long, because their looks really just aren't engaging enough. most of time, when i talk about cute guys, the "cute" definition comes from a combination of their face, body and supposed personality.

i am of course not a pretty girl, by my own definition. not by any common definition either. but you see, that's the wonderful part of it all, that whether a person is pretty or not, is dependent on personal definitions. i'm sure there's someone out there who doesn't agree with my definition here, that's of course ok. maybe my ex didn't see me to be as ugly as i thought i was, that's entirely possible. i don't have to be a pretty girl to everyone, i just have to be pretty to that one guy in the future. in fact, i don't want to just be pretty to him, i want to be beautiful, inside out. and he would think that i am, because he just does. and me, i will think he's the most handsome guy on earth, because he just is. to me, beauty is never defined. because it is a kind of interaction. ah, isn't that just wonderful?