131001, 1428hr, illinois time.

i've slept so much the past 3 days, it's unbelievable. hah. there's something about being in bed, that makes me not want to get up. really, sometimes i'm just lying there, knowing that i should get up, and knowing that i'm actually not tired anymore, but i still refuse to get out of bed. guilty as charged.

i intentionally brought my laptop out of my room, into the dining room, so i cannot surf the web while i'm doing my assignment, so i won't be distracted. but this trick isn't working as well as i wanted it to, cos now all i do is go to the dining room, start my computer, and then start wandering to the other parts of the house, to avoid doing my work. have i mentioned the piano, pool table and abundance of food in my house? i've put on like 2 pounds over the past 2 weeks of midterms, because i kept on wandering to the kitchen to snack, and not to mention all the brownies, cookies and muffins i baked, everytime i felt stressed up. exam period is a bad time for me. no matter what i do to motivate myself to study, the side effects last longer than my results do.

i think the 3 days of sleep did me some good though. now i feel much better, and quite motivated to continue doing my regular work [ie no more staying up for exams, but regular homework and reading till i'm sleepy.]

li called this morning, cos she read my journal and wanted to call to cheer me up. she woke me up from my sleep, cos i think she's been trying to get me the past days, and i'm never home in the day. she figured the only time i'm sure to be in would be the wee hours of the morning. yawn. but it was nice talking to her, so glad to know at least she still cares enough to call me up. she told me about the decadent lifestyle she's leading there, and i was quite horrified, cos it just seemed so different from the kind of lifestyle we led in on the uiuc campus. in comparison to her, i'm so bland, so boring, and such a cao mugger. hmm. i think my life here in uiuc has gotten to a stage where it's too stable, and i have nothing more to think about than my results, and if i have enough money to indulge in a tub of ben & jerry's ice-cream. it makes the scope of life so small, and so self-indulgent, it feels weird to hear about someone else's life that has so much more color, so much more excitement.

of course, the next question is naturally, would i be able to handle the excitement if i were there?

well, i can't answer this question till i actually leave this campus, till i actually go to japan, and till i actually experience university life at an university other than uiuc. and i can't possibly do that unless psc agreed to letting me go, and they haven't freaking even replied to my request yet!! grr. sheesh. i'm going to start bugging them now, i swear, i've been a nice patient scholar for too long. but. but. but. but i like my scholarship officer! i don't want to push or stress her too much, i think she probably already has her hands full now, cos they're undergoing some restructuring, transitional period. aiyah...but, i need a reply soon too. sigh, i'm too nice. need to be more agressive. hmm.

actually, amidst all my babbling, i think it's quite obvious that i've finally recovered from exam trauma. and i'm fairly contented with my life right now. yes, there are problems, but they're under control i guess. i'll have to study harder than before. i'll have to be little frugal woman and not eat too much ice-cream. i'll have to shelve my plans of buying a digital camera. i'll have to control my emotions and behavior towards certain people, to avoid complication. oh well. that's all part of life, i should stop whining about it already. i can do it, i'm sure.

i'm basking in the afterglow of 3 days of rest...ahh...