s . l . s . b . --- today

060801, 2320hr, Singapore time.

i was talking to poachie just now, after conning her to take the long bus ride with me to AMK, and after our brief shopping at giordano and bossini, at macs. talking about whether i should potentially sacrifice my gpa, in exchange for a semester of japanese lessons in japan.

see, the problem here is, i have 2 years to complete my dual degree in uiuc, and if i do not insist in going to japan for a semester, i can finish rather comfortably. not altogether completely easily, but comfortable, definitely. and if i do go to japan for a semester, i will have to cramp more classes into each semester, and probably take summer school next semester as well, because the semester in japan would not offer me much usable credit fror graduation.

i don't like learning things in a hurry, i don't really want to cramp my classes. but i really want to go to japan, i really want to learn japanese there. i've always wanted to learn japanese, but maybe i was so serious about it, i never dared to. somewhere out there, someone knows what i'm talking about. and now that i finally pull myself together to actually commit to learning, i don't have enough time left. i want to hit my own head for my own stupidity through these years, but since that doesn't help the situation at all, i spare myself the trouble.

i am willing to overload, i am willing to take on the extra classes, the additional stress. partly because this is not the first time i'm overloading, i know i can still survive. partly because i'm quite kiasu [singlish for fear of losing out] and i want to really fully utilise my time overseas. but what i'm not sure i'm willing to sacrifice is my gpa.

over the past week of government seminars [in relation to my future career] one thing is quite clear in my eventual deployment - whether i get my choice of ministry is partially dependent on my gpa, and how high my basic starting pay is also reliant on my gpa. argh.

it's a question of how badly my gpa would be. it's a question of how much it really ultimately matters in my career. it's a question of whether it's worth it.

tough one. tough one. i'm confused.

but i really want to go to japan.

but i know which ministry i want to go to, undoubtedly competitive positions, i know.

argh.

s . l . s . b .
[ stuff . . . ] feeling: relatively happy food: more home-cooked soup CD: Boys II Men show: hongkong movie: love on a diet - so dumb, but sweet i guess. reading: Chinese book poachie lent me - e tong ri ji vol II surfin': OSMP online feedback form. hahaha. looking forward: national day parade this thursday. goodness: the rest of my time in singapore is now pure bumming. with some errands to run, of course. but bumming! wow!
[ say . . . ] 060801, 2320hr, Singapore time. i was talking to poachie just now, after conning her to take the long bus ride with me to AMK, and after our brief shopping at giordano and bossini, at macs. talking about whether i should potentially sacrifice my gpa, in exchange for a semester of japanese lessons in japan. see, the problem here is, i have 2 years to complete my dual degree in uiuc, and if i do not insist in going to japan for a semester, i can finish rather comfortably. not altogether completely easily, but comfortable, definitely. and if i do go to japan for a semester, i will have to cramp more classes into each semester, and probably take summer school next semester as well, because the semester in japan would not offer me much usable credit fror graduation. i don't like learning things in a hurry, i don't really want to cramp my classes. but i really want to go to japan, i really want to learn japanese there. i've always wanted to learn japanese, but maybe i was so serious about it, i never dared to. somewhere out there, someone knows what i'm talking about. and now that i finally pull myself together to actually commit to learning, i don't have enough time left. i want to hit my own head for my own stupidity through these years, but since that doesn't help the situation at all, i spare myself the trouble. i am willing to overload, i am willing to take on the extra classes, the additional stress. partly because this is not the first time i'm overloading, i know i can still survive. partly because i'm quite kiasu [singlish for fear of losing out] and i want to really fully utilise my time overseas. but what i'm not sure i'm willing to sacrifice is my gpa. over the past week of government seminars [in relation to my future career] one thing is quite clear in my eventual deployment - whether i get my choice of ministry is partially dependent on my gpa, and how high my basic starting pay is also reliant on my gpa. argh. it's a question of how badly my gpa would be. it's a question of how much it really ultimately matters in my career. it's a question of whether it's worth it. tough one. tough one. i'm confused. but i really want to go to japan. but i know which ministry i want to go to, undoubtedly competitive positions, i know. argh.
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