| 0015h [190501]
Feeling... a little bit sad, but mostly ok Happiness of the day: Meeting up with my friends Event of the week: going out for dinner with parents tomorrow. I went out with agnes and wallace today, to catch a movie. It was just supposed to be a movie outing. Then we went shopping for a while. Then dinner. Then drinking at wallace's pub. Somewhere in the middle of all that, cheryl joined us. It was primarily not a very thorough outing, since I didn't get to see all my friends, and seriously, it's not like me to want go home before 9pm. But heck, it was enough to make me happy. The movie we watched was a chinese show, called Forever and ever...or erm, something like that. It's about the true story of this hongkong young writer, who died of AIDS at age of 23. He had haemophilia and was infected with the HIV virus due to a contaminated blood transfusion. Told as flashbacks by his mother, this movie made me cry buckets. which was quite embarrassing, cos I was like, trying to rub my eye without wallace noticing anything. But in the end, I realised my eyes will be bloated and my face/nose red anyway, so I couldn't be bothered to disguise myself anymore. This movie really struck a chord in me...because this is so real. It's not as grim, dark and sad as the disease. On the contrary, it really told the life story of this young man, as it is. How optimistic he was, how strong his mother was, how his life was short but beautiful.... In some ways, maybe they didn't really emphasise the ugliness of the disease, like the side-effects of the drugs. But I guess that's what they wanted - to emphasise the intrinsic sadness of such a disease, rather than the more practical aspects of treatment and synthoms. To touch people, rather than shock. And I get reminded of the AIDS patients I met during my minneapolis trip. Are they still alive? I don't know. I actually miss them, as unbelievable as it sounds. I really really hope they're still alive. Do you remember? One of them was making his own memorial quilt, because he didn't want his family to have to worry about that after he dies. Another speaks of his pain like it was someone else's. someone else's partner who died. someone else's family who disowned him. The young man in the movie reminds me of these real patients I've met. They look normal. They have feelings. They are real....and they made me feel so helpless, and so incredibly sad. the kind of sadness that caused a physical pain in the chest. And all these feelings came flooding back to me today, during the movie. I realise that the young man was fortunate in some ways, because he had the firm support and love from his family and friends. Some other people have it worse. Sigh. My mom finally found out about my second set of earholes, and she's not too happy about them. They're not that new, since I pierced my ears again during the minneapolis trip, and that was more than a year ago, but she just didn't notice them till now. I don't know how to explain these earholes to her, so I didn't. Do you think she'll understand? The impact of the trip on me... I walked into the shop to pierce my ears on impulse, in Minneapolis, because I wanted to leave something in/on me, that will remind me of the trip. Of them. Of the need to do something about it. I need to remember. | |