| 1120h
Feeling... destroyed Happiness of the day: at least I'm done with 66.7% of my exams. ie I'm 33.3% way to going home. Event of the week: flight home on 13th May Muahahahaahahahhahaa....<- manical laughter. I think I've really lost it this time. Of the 2 exams I took so far, both are so damn bad. And I still laugh. Muahahahahhaa...this ultimate display of stress. Hahahahaha.... The exam I had this morning wasn't even difficult, but I still couldn't really do it, because sad to say, I didn't study that much for it. I was supposed to, after my semiconductors exam last night, since this course is actually relatively easy, and it shouldn't take much time for me to revise those main formulas. Yet, I didn't. Because I felt so utterly demoralised and depressed after my semiconductors exams, that's why. Argh. The semiconductors exam was difficult, there's no questions about it. The professors were literally sniggering before, during and after the exam, undoubtedly taking pleasure in seeing our tortured expressions. I was already panicking before the exam, because as hard as I tried to study, I wasn't really prepared for the exam. So this more-difficult-than-usual paper practically killed me. When I finally walked out of the exam hall, after 3 hours of struggling with electron drift current, silicon doping, MESFET, MOSFET, BJT and whatnot, my brain was seriously fried. Too fried to stay up and study for my mechanics exam this morning. Furthermore, my internet connection was screwed up, and pissed me off even more. So I went straight to bed, told myself I will wake up early to study. And of course, as Murphy's Law goes, I didn't wake up early enough. I had only 1 hours to look through my past homework solutions, and off I went. Things looked vaguely familiar on the exam paper, things I know I was supposed to know. But I didn't. To sound a little more optimistic, I wasn't totally clueless, I just wasn't sure. So there I was, half-guessing everything I wrote down. I couldn't remember the formulae, couldn't remember what symbol corresponded to what quantity I was supposed to calculate. I was a freaking mess. Amazingly, as I handed in my paper, after just 2 hours [since there's no point staying on any longer to make more random guesses] I could still smile ever so serenely to my professor. I'm truly sick, I swear. And now, I'm talking funny to everyone I meet on icq. They think I'm in a really good mood, but seriously, I'm going to break down soon. Not from stress, no, the stress is already over. I'm going to break down from extreme despisement of studying. I will free myself from this viscious cycle designed to trap talents like me in a meaningless quest for meaningless information. I still have one more exam on wednesday, I'd bet I'm going to screw that one up too, just simply cos I'm in this "screw studying" mood right now. Argh, I want to be a rich bombotic taitai who doesn't have to know how a freaking transistor or bridge works. | |