| 1650hr
Mood: fine Fact of the day:Twice as much Indian curry is sold in Britain than fish and chips. event of the week More opera coming weekend.
Man, I love American Beauty! Li didn't like it as much as I did, so I didn't get to talk about it with her. But really, it's a very interesting, philosophical show. I like the different characters portrayed, how they all have their own fears, secrets and insecurities, except this one guy - who just wasn't afraid of anything. But most of all, I like how each of them has its own story, all of them make me want to find out more about their history, how they became the way they are now.....
Anyway, I was just talking to my friend today, when I mentioned going back to hwachong to visit my students. Then, it just struck me...it seems only like yesterday that I was puking blood and getting totally stressed up teaching chemical bondings. To me, those kids in class were only ..erm..kids! Fresh out from secondary school, all hormonal, arrogant and still impressionable. But now, coming summer, when I actually go back there to visit them, they'll actually be preparing for their A levels! Omigod. I cannot believe it. Has it already been a year? A year ago, I was also still in Singapore, still wondering which university I'll be going to, which course I'll study, whether I'll be taking any scholarships, whether my students like me or not, whether I'll get to tour Gold Coast after all.... things that are completely different from what I'm thinking of right now. Right now, I'm thinking about when I can get my driver's license, whether I should buy a car, whether I have the money to buy the car, how much my Europe will cost, whether I should dress up the living room in my new house come fall semester, about my play, about my non-existent lovelife, about going back to Singapore...and so on. Yes, these are the things that I've been thinking about. So very different. Of course, I shouldn't be surprised. After all, this has been a rather eventful year. Thrown into sudden absolute independence, burst of freedom, foreign and confusing environment. Things happen in an accelerated rate nowadays, and they also affect me much more strongly, because suddenly I'm taking in all these blows on my own, with not much to fall back on. Singapore's too far away. If I cry, my mom will no longer be able to hear me. She won't be able to come to me and hold me to her chest to soothe me. Yes, I have to take care of myself now, and suddenly there're so many things I have to think about. I don't know if it's a good thing that I've become so much of a thinker. I've become less spontaneous, more cautious, and more wary. But at the same time, I've become more stable, more responsible and less arrogant. No matter what, I hope I've grown up. I hope I've matured. It'll be quite pathetic if I do return to Singapore the same person who left. | |