| 1450hr
Mood: fine Fact of the day:Chopsticks were introduced into Japan, from China, during the Nara Period from 720 AD to 794 AD. event of the week More opera coming weekend.
I'm going to watch American Beauty later with Li and Lynn later. Maybe tomorrow I'll go shopping too, just for fun. Li and I want to buy a pack of rubber bands, so we can make some sort of rubber chain that we used to play with in primary school. Then on Friday, I'll go ice-skating and perhaps watch a Chinese VCD with Alvin. And then during the weekend, I'm going back to Krannert to work at the opera again. Yup yup, my timetable is pretty packed with activities!
The wave of depression I had yesterday is already gone. I'm not exactly bouncing with joy now, but at least I'm not sad anymore. Maybe because I realise there's really no reason for me to be depressed at all. Too many other people are suffering, in worst state than I am. I'm really just too much of a whiner. Self-worth, direction in life and blah blah..the fact that I even have the time to think about all that probably means I have too much free time in my hands.
Which brings me to the next point. Last night when Shaun was trying to console me, one of the points he brought up was that perhaps I should start making choices of which way I want to go, which things I want to focus more energy into. But somehow, I felt like something was wrong, because I felt that I should be able to manage what I have so far, without having to narrow anything down! I guess what he was referring to was how the rehearsals with the opera disrupted my studies and led to my incompetence in the computer science exams. As well as my absences for French class.
He might be right, but what I'm feeling now is really how enriched my life is, with all these different things going on, such that if I lose any part of it, it will not be better, but just less. Studies is something that I need to do. There's no question about it, but the rest of the things I'm doing now all add flavour to my life. I enjoy Krannert, whether it's ushering or tech crew; I like writing, whether it's for my play or for this journal; I like the internet, whether it's just chatting with my friends, replying emails or just pure surfing. What other things am I committing too much time to? I don't quite remember. I've already cut back! I'm no longer involved with things that I'm not interested in, so there's no reason why I should give up the ones that I actually like. And most importantly, I feel like I should be capable of doing all these, without having to sacrifice any for the others.
It's really a matter of time management and while I have to agree that my lack of time management is really going to kill me sooner or later, I think I need to pick up this skill while I can now, rather than let it kill me later when I'm actually working and when it'll actually be affecting the salary that's going to feed me. I just need to buck up, try to have a more structured life, plan my time well, make sure I do not allow too much slack and viola! I would be the most wonderful all-rounded person in the world! Hahaha...Shaun and Lynn once talked about it and commented on how much happier I seemed when I was actually so busy with the opera. And I have to agree, I really felt so much more alive then. So I think if this time management thing works out well, I will be able to continue doing things I enjoy, or even more. And I think I would continue to be happy. =)
I sound all so optimistic and upbeat now, I'm surprised at myself. Let's just hope this sudden burst of optimism will last. Check back again tomorrow.
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