I should stop being so anti-social. It only depresses me more. It turns out, when I went for the birthday celebration, everyone was so happy to see me, I felt happy too. Temporarily at least.

I did all I can to cheer myself up. I dressed up myself up in bright colours, I made a conscious effort to laugh harder than normal. It sort of worked, for a while, since it made me feel really high and hyper that night. But once I got back to my room, I felt down again.

But I'm happy now. As in really happy. Contented. Happy.

I called home this morning.

I probably didn't realise how much I missed home, but now I do. I miss home so badly I felt that tingly feeling in my nose when my dad just asked, "So when are you coming back?" Because it's not anytime soon....

I told my dad that I'm putting on too much weight.
"Aiyah, fat already leh! How???"
My dad says don't worry, I will love you nonetheless.
"Wah, so fat skarly cannot find husband then you know."
He then adds that my mom will love me too.
"Your mother thinner now you know, you better don't come back fatter than her huh!"
My mom then took over the phone and protested.
"Aiyah, since when will I grow thinner? I want also cannot. So you no need to worry lah."
I then came up with the perfect comeback.
"Aiyah, of course you'll be thinner lah. You miss me mah!!"

And then we both laughed.

I miss home a lot. I miss my family a lot. I feel like crying, but I'm happy. I'm happy because I called home and they're happy.