Like a roller coaster ride. Ecstatic yesterday. Depressed today.

November ended well for me. Although I am still not doing as well in my school work, I was feeling really contented and happy. Just yesterday, although I didn't know how to do my french homework, I was still feeling fine. The world seemed like a wonderful place..too wonderful to be wasted moaning and groaning over homework.

Then it went downhill starting from this morning.

I got to know that my crushee doesn't like me. I know he doesn't like me. I've always known. But it doesn't help to have someone else tell it to me. I wish I can remain ignorant of how he actually likes some other girl. Self-deception sometimes makes me feel a lot better. Obviously. On one hand, I appreciate my friend looking out for me....she was a little hesitant in telling me, probably fearing hurting me. Yes, I do feel a little heartbroken. But I take still take it. No more hope. But I can still take it.

I have ways of counselling myself.

I just have to remind myself every 5 minutes: I don't need him. I don't like him that much anyway. He's not worth it. He's not the guy for me. I am not the girl for him. It's part of maturing -- to endure rejection. I am an attractive girl. I am smart. I will eventually find another guy. Easily. Definitely.

Telling myself that works. Sometimes.

But I still feel like crying............