The wrong things happen all the time. Nothing goes as wished. Prayers don't work. Optimism is but a lollipop to keep one quiet and delusional until it's too late.

Death surrounds me these days. Just a few days ago, by some coincidence, I suddenly thought of my grandma who passed away 3 years ago and started sobbing. I thought that would be the end of it, simply because that was already a long time ago. And every other depressing thing [ie the things I mentioned two days ago] that's happening is so far away from me.

But today, everything just collapsed on me.

I just received an email today from Agnes who is very upset because a friend of hers just passed away in a car accident. An abrupt end to a bright future. No goodbye to all her loved ones. No tomorrow.

And my friend just told me that her mother has only a month left to live. No hope of seeing the millinnium come. No hope of seeing her daughter graduate. No hope.

I don't even know what I'm supposed to say to them. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. I don't know what message this whole chain of events actually translates too.

All I know is, the world suddenly looks very unpredictably bleak now.