I need an anchor in my life. Now, I feel like I'm just floating around. I'm on my own, I'm free to do whatever I want and frankly, I'm not really that comfortable with that. Although I have more or less settled in a routine now, I still feel like my life is not in equilibrium yet. Something is missing and I don't know what it is.

I still feel like I'm in a dream, making things up as I go along. I have a lot of control in my hands. Like today, I skipped my French lesson today again. I don't know why I did that, since I know that I enjoy learning french. But somehow, I managed to just conveniently "neglect" to go for my class.

I don't have to answer to anybody what I do, just like nobody is obliged to care what happens to me. I thought I'd enjoy the freedom, but it seems like I still wish I have a home to go to, where I know my family will be glad to know what I have done for the day.

I think I'm just homesick.