Peter was in shock. He had never seen Sirius reacting so aggressively towards James before. And then Remus had shouted, and that was something that very rarely happened. It had only been a practical joke—something that Sirius usually didn’t think twice about before pulling on other people. Why there had been such a palaver about it, he just couldn’t understand.
Peter fidgeted in his seat in the common room. Hearing a loud bang from upstairs, he glanced up and gave James a poke. Sirius was storming down the stairs, looking furious. He didn’t say a word to them as he walked past and climbed through the portrait hole, but he did send them a hefty glare. James jumped up and headed towards the dormitory, and Peter dashed upstairs after him to find Remus standing by the bed looking completely bewildered.
“What happened?” James asked as Peter sat down awkwardly on his bed.
“I’m not entirely sure,” Remus said, and he rubbed at the creases that had appeared between his eyebrows. “I certainly didn’t tell him what I meant to.”
“Well, what on earth did you say to have him storming off like that?”
“He called me homophobic, so I had a go at him.”
Peter was stunned by Sirius’s audacity, and James also appeared to be taken aback by this news, asking, “He called you homophobic?” But then, to Peter’s bewilderment, James began to snigger and he added, “That really is priceless!”
“James,” Remus said curtly, and he subtly directed a swift kick to James’s foot.
James, being James, would normally defend any humour he found in a situation; he would bite back. But today, and for no reason that Peter could think of, James didn’t.
“Sorry,” James mumbled, briefly flicking his gaze in Peter’s direction. “Where is he now, Remus?”
“Probably with Joe.”
“When you ordered us out,” James continued, “I thought you were going to tell him he could stop seeing Joe.”
“I did; that’s when the shouting started.”
Peter shook his head, trying to understand why that would make Sirius so angry. Surely after his earlier reaction, he would want to end this whole charade. He looked up as James spoke again.
“He wants to keep seeing Joe?”
“So it would seem,” Remus said bitterly.
“Oh, I was not expecting that to happen,” James said with a hearty chuckle.
“It’s not funny, James.”
“Yes it is,” James insisted. “Oh come on, don’t you find the way that Padfoot’s mind works just a little bit amusing?”
“No, just wholly frustrating.”
James suddenly stopped laughing and frowned hard at Remus. Peter looked between the two of them; Sirius couldn’t be… he really couldn’t. Surely he’d got the wrong idea.
“So Sirius really is a poof?” he asked quietly.
Remus scowled at him. “You might want to take out life assurance before you say that to his face.”
“No wonder he’s been in such a bad mood,” James mused, still staring at Remus thoughtfully. “I hope he cheers up now that he’s been outed for a second time.”
“I don’t understand why he was so defensive about Joe,” Remus said, distractedly running his fingers through his hair. “It can’t possibly be serious, not with Joe – he puts it about all over the place.”
“How do you know?” Peter asked.
“I’ve seen him in action; he was coming onto Dawlish only a few weeks back.”
“The Ravenclaw Prefect?”
Remus nodded. He seemed paler than usual, not unlike the day after a full moon, and he was fidgeting with his hands in an agitated manner as James paced the room.
Narrowing his eyes, James turned to Remus and asked, “So you don’t think Joe’s good enough for Sirius? You were the one to suggest Joe in the first place.”
“I wasn’t expecting this to happen!” Remus snapped and he cast a nervous glance at Peter, who could only assume that Remus felt it was his fault that Sirius had turned gay. But what did this mean for the rest of them? If Sirius carried on seeing Joe, then surely they wouldn’t be at risk of Sirius trying it on with any of them. It didn’t matter who Sirius was dating, just as long as he didn’t turn his attentions to them.
“Peter,” James said, snapping Peter out of his reverie. “I left my bag downstairs. Would you get it?”
“But…”
“Now?”
Peter obediently trudged off down to the
common room, and Remus looked up at James in trepidation, having the
uncomfortable feeling that James had worked it out—that James knew why this had
upset him so much. Not waiting for James
to start asking questions, Remus began to explain.
“I had
expected Joe to try it on with him,” Remus said, “but I also thought that
Sirius would moan about it afterwards—I wouldn’t have been surprised if Joe had
dumped Sirius for refusing to kiss him.”
“If that had happened, you know that I wouldn’t have been able to resist bullying Sirius into doing it anyway.”
“I wouldn’t have let you,” Remus said, picking up the origami-Padfoot from his bedside table and beginning to fiddle with it. “You can be so heartless at times, James.”
“But it’s all good entertainment.”
“At your best friend’s expense?”
“If I was in his position, I’m positive he’d do the same—use me, for his own amusement. You, of all people, should know that.”
Yes, Remus conceded, he had had direct experience with how little consideration for others Sirius put into his own pranks.
The door clicked open and Peter came in with his things from downstairs, along with James’s bag. James took the bag and opened it.
“One of my quills is missing,” James said with a tut. “I bet it’s ended up underneath the sofa again. Peter would you…?”
“All right, I’ll go look for it.”
Peter disappeared downstairs for a second time, and James looked at Remus a little awkwardly.
“Have you ever thought about me and Peter… you know…like that?” James asked.
“No…well…maybe just the once. But it was only a… a bit of an experiment. Don’t worry; the thought of doing anything with you or Peter doesn’t appeal to me.”
“But doing stuff with Sirius does…”
Remus glanced down at the
origami-Padfoot. At first, he had been
enjoying Sirius’s discomfort—a little too much perhaps, to the point of
immersing himself in the fantasy that Sirius really was gay. But then Remus had become genuinely worried
that Sirius had been forcing himself to go through with it—to let Joe take
advantage of him—and all because of his stupid bloody promise. Remus could never have anticipated that
Sirius, of all people, would actually enjoy it.
Remus guessed that this was his just desserts for agreeing to go along
with James’s idea in the first place.
“What does it matter?” he asked, screwing up the origami-Padfoot in his fist and then dropping it on the floor. “He’s seeing Joe now.”
“You should tell him how you feel.”
“No!” Remus was alarmed to see James looking very determined about his assertion. “I don’t want him to know—and don’t you tell him either. It’s better if he doesn’t find out.”
James narrowed his eyes, and Remus started to panic that James was going to tell Sirius anyway.
“James, just leave it, okay?”
James never confirmed the request, though, because at that moment, a slightly out-of-breath Peter came back into the bedroom.
“I looked under the sofa, the chairs, and even the rug in front of the fireplace,” he said, “but I can’t find your quill.”
After muttering a word of thanks to Peter, James slid his trunk from under the bed and began to rummage through it.
“What are you doing?” Remus asked.
“I’m going to find Sirius,” James said, pulling out the Marauder’s Map and waggling it in the air in front of Remus.
“James, don’t you dare!” Remus felt his stomach sink to his feet. James was going to tell Sirius everything.
Ignoring Remus completely, James tapped the parchment with his wand and said, “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” He opened the map on his bed and began scouring the dots to find the one labelled Sirius Black. “He’s in the Prefect’s bathroom with Joe. What’s the password, Remus?”
“I’m not telling you.”
“Why do you have to be so stubborn? Fine. I’ll just wait outside the bathroom until he leaves.”
“James…”
James scooped up the map and walked out of the room without as much as a backward glance. Peter’s eyes flicked nervously back and forth between Remus and the door for a moment, then he, too, scurried off downstairs after James.
**
Jogging along in the corridor, trying to keep up with James, Peter nearly crashed into him when James stopped abruptly.
James stared intently at the map for a few moments, screwing his face up, and said, “Sirius is still there but Joe’s leaving. He’s coming this way.”
James hastily stuffed the map into his pocket before continuing to walk onwards. As they rounded the corner, they saw Joe, who glowered at them the instant he saw them.
“Why aren’t you with Sirius?” James asked as they approached him.
Joe’s tone was decidedly cold when he replied. “I got bored listening to him lie—to me, and to himself.” His demeanour towards them had changed dramatically since the previous night at the party; Peter thought it would probably be better—safer—if he just stood back a little and let James do the talking.
“Joe, what do you mean?”
“He told me about your little set up.”
Peter didn’t understand. Why would Sirius do that if he wanted to carry on seeing Joe? Despite wanting to stay out of it, Peter couldn’t help from asking, “He told you?” When Joe cast an icy look in his direction, Peter speculated whether he could get away with charming his own mouth shut.
“He mentioned it by mistake,” Joe explained. “He was too busy ranting about Remus to pay attention to what he was saying.”
“So it’s all over?” James asked hesitantly.
“Nah!” Joe let out a bitter laugh. “Well, not yet, anyway. Tell me, has he always been this obsessed with Remus?”
“Obsessed?” Peter stuttered, stepping backwards from Joe slightly and wondering why he would think that. “He’s not obsessed.”
“Of course not,” Joe said sarcastically. “Promising to do anything must form part of the daily fare amongst you lot.”
Trying to work out exactly what was going on made Peter’s head hurt. Why was Joe willing to carry on seeing Sirius after finding out it had all been a prank? Was Joe going to blame Remus for what happened? Peter glanced nervously between Joe and James, and noticed that James was now gaping at Joe in complete astonishment.
“So,” James began, “you think that Sirius…”
To Peter’s annoyance, Joe picked up on what James was asking before he’d even finished.
“Yeah,” Joe replied, “going by his reaction to Remus’s little homophobic outburst.”
“But Sirius got the wrong end of the stick. Remus doesn’t have a problem with him being gay.”
“I see,” Joe said darkly, and Peter could detect a look of disappointment pass across his face. “Just how accepting is he? Did Remus just overreact because he’s jealous, perhaps?”
Expecting James to start laughing, Peter
let out an undignified snort, but that was the only sound that rang out in the
disturbingly silent corridor. Peter
looked over and caught James glance at him nervously. Does he
think that I’m going to be the next one to turn gay?
“Bugger,” Joe muttered, and he shook his head, a wry smile on his lips. “I guess that means Sirius and I do have a limited shelf-life.”
Not waiting for another response, Joe gave them both a nod of acknowledgment and walked off down the corridor, leaving them standing there in silence.
Peter rocked back and forth on his heels, waiting for James to stop staring into space and say something. It seemed like hours, but it was probably only seconds, before James pulled the map out of his pocket and studied it.
“Sirius still isn’t leaving the bathroom,” James said, putting the map away. “Come on, it’s getting late. Who knows how long he’ll be in there moping.”
They walked back to the dormitory in
silence, and even when they arrived, the conversation was stilted. Remus had a foul glare plastered across his
face and refused to cheer up, even when James protested that they had only seen
Joe and that Sirius was still sulking in the Prefect’s bathroom—so nothing had
been said to Sirius. But Peter couldn’t
fathom why James had expected this to improve Remus’s bad mood.