| The place for Updates, Rants, and other miscellaneous stuff. |
| ~*~ Essentials ~*~ Pen name: Shukujo Kurai Also known as: Bunny >_<;;; Age: Doesn't matter anyway B-day: October 29 Occupation: Student ~*~ Silly Stuff ~*~ Hobbies: Sleeping, reading, and writing Favorite season: Autumn Favorite Sport to watch: Hockey, 'cause it's just neat... ^.^; Favorite Magazines: Discover (I'm a geek...I know ^.^) Favorite Toothpaste: anything Colgate Favorite BubbleGum: Um...bubblegum flavored bubblegum? Favorite Candy: I really don't like candy... ^.^;;; But I guess if I had to pick one, it'd be Necco Wafers. Favorite Store(s): I HATE shopping! *dies* Favorite Thing to Wear to School: clothes Favorite Word: 'Hn.' or 'Aa.' Thing You Say Way Too Much: see above Favorite ice-cream Flavor: vanilla Favorite Soda: ew....Sprite, I guess Favorite drink other than soda: Green tea, coffee, juices, carrot-berry juice, regular tea........*babbles on and on* Last Book you Read by Choice: Profiling Violent Crimes Where is your computer: on my desk Silliest Thing You've Said: everything I say is silly.... Favorite Smiley Face: �_�; or ^.^;;; Last thing you said: "Hn." When told to 'have a good day tomorrow'. ~*~ Web Life ~*~ Site: Bright Eyes Date started: Um...2000? HTML?: *sighs* No... Fic Projects: x_X; What It Would Be Like, Remember Me, Meet Me Again, If Only, Beautiful, Untitled Weiss Fic #'s 1, 2, and 3. ~*~ Friends and Their Sites ~*~ Marie (Makoto-chan/Sango) Duo-kun MD (Komadori-chan MD) |
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| 11.04.02 20:34 Mmm...I still haven't been to sleep yet...x_X I'm so bored....so incredibly bored.... I got all the lyrics up! *cheers* Go check them out! Lyrics I've got a fever! *cheers again* Arg...working on my fics is seeming like a better option the longer I stare at the monitor....o.o Nothing interesting happened today...*pouts* But hey, I don't have school tomorrow! *cheers some more* So that makes it ALL better. ^.^ Err....Methinks I'm going to go work on my fics...or something... 20:39 ~Kurai 11.04.02 01:10 x_X Well, this is the new layout, minna-sama... Hope you enjoy. I'm still not sure what to think of it, myself. u_u; Kinda hard to read, I guess... *sighs* Yes, it's actually one in the morning and I'm wide awake. Can you guess why? Correct! It's because I slept until 19:00 hours yesterday! x_X I'm working on getting lyrics on here...I have them on separate pages, but I need to make an index. *is lazy* *stares over at left-hand side* Mmm...Ran-kun...*drools* XD I really wish someone else were awake...u_u; I'm talkative and I have no one to talk to! x_X Erg... I guess I could go make an index page...u_u; ~Kurai |
| 11.06.02 19:31 Too much to do in so little time. I need to do so many things...none of which are really important, so I decided to update first. u_u; Well, page 13 of the quizzes is up. x_X I had to stop going to RCIA because of the dispute it was causing in my family. ...only three-hundred and fifty-six more days to go...>_<; I'll feel all awkward trying to go back to my old church now... u_u *sighs* Well, at least Mako and I had a decent conversation before she had to go eat dinner. I even saved it! ^.^;; I like hearing what people think about me...well, with the exception of close family...'cause they don't even try to sugarcoat it at all, in fact, I think they just hide it in a kiwi...(Kiwis make my tongue swell...as if you really wanted to know that...) Sometimes I just feel like I'm in the way, like I'm hindering everyone's plans. I mean, what would my grandparents like to be doing right now? Certainly not worrying over whether or not their grandaughter will clean her room or take her medicine. I'm just a burden...u_u; *sighs* I find myself getting lonely more often these days. Maybe it's just the season, but as it gets closer to the holidays, I always feel like I should have someone...but I never do. That's one of the reasons I can't stand the holiday season. That and my family always fights every time we get together. It's gotten to where I don't even want Christmas to come. That's horrible, isn't it? It's also gotten to where I don't think that I can stand one more DAY in fourth block. Err, that man drives me absolutely insane! x_X I seriously start to doubt my sanity in that class...not to mention my ability to keep from killing the teacher. *sighs* Arg...I really want to keep talking, if only to vent, but I need to start on all that crap. u_u; 20:00 ~Kurai |
| 11.07.02 23:08 T_T Today was awful...well, not all of it. My therapist and I actually made progress without him having to poke and prod at me for once. But the good began and ended there. *sigh* Tomorrow's Jenn's birthday, so I bought her something. No big deal, right. Well, I figured that I'd put it in a box because it seemed kinda fragile so I went downstairs and grabbed a box that I thought would work. Well, it didn't and my grandpa came in just after I stuck it in the box to see if it'd fit. This started everything. He became obsessed with the box. I told him 'nevermind, I've decided not to use a box', but he went and got a ruler and kept trying to measure the candle-holder-thingie. I told him to forget it and that I was going to use the bag I had bought after all. He went downstairs to look for a box and I was really ticked. (When I get really angry, I cry...) Then he brought one up and started yelling at me about why I was crying. Mom tried to defend me again. I just continued to stare at this box. (It was obviously too small) So I told him that I didn't want a box. He was furious that I didn't want his box. So he started to measure the lamp-thingie again. I told him to stop again. He kept trying to measure it anyway. I guess I kinda lost it here. I spat, 'stop it. I don't want a box, so just stop it'. He didn't like that. He started yelling and threatening to 'beat the hell outta me' with the ruler. My mom was in the room and she, being the person who actually knocked out several of his teeth during one argument, tried to defend me. He just kept threatening and shaking the ruler at me. He finally acted like he was going to leave, but I guess mom or I said something and he started to come back, but mom shut the door in his face. Physical violence then ensues. He kept trying to open the door and my mom didn't want him in the room with me, so she blocked the door with her body and fought against him. Well, during this struggle for the door, he knocks my mom off balance (she has a bad ankle from where she fell and nearly broke it and it had been bothering her today) and she grabs at the wall and my bookshelf to keep from falling. Where he was still pushing the door, she was knocked backwards and so was my shelf. Needless to say, my shelf almost fell over and all the breakable things fell onto the floor. _I_ lost it there and started to cry like the baby that I am. Mom yelled that he was breaking all my stuff and he finally backed off and ended up taking it out on my grandma. Mom and I picked up the pieces of everything and I finally was able to stop crying. After Mom and I finished wrapping Jenn's gift, we went out to talk to my grandma. I told her that we need to do SOMETHING about him...she gave me some excuse and I finally told her that if she wasn't going to do it, I would. Then she and Mom tell me that they've tried to talk to his doctors at the Veteran's Hospital, but they (the hospital people) wouldn't let them speak to his doctors. So I told them both that the next time he goes off and threatens to hit my grandma or I again, I'm calling 911. I really don't want to do this, but Nana won't. She said that if she's the one who calls, her life would be a living hell from then on. (My grandma rarely uses any sort of swear words, so this had an impact on me.) So the future is in my hands alone. The office of emergency services (the 911 people) have to send someone and we can request a mental hygeine hearing from there. I'm afraid to go to sleep. I know it's silly...but I don't think that I can. I'm afraid that he'll remember and hold a grudge and try to beat me in my sleep or something. So I'll probably be up all night online or playing MahJongg. u_u; I'm so weak. I'm glad no one's going to be at school tomorrow...they'll be less people there to ask me why I look like crap. (They do that....and it irritates me...) I vent here because I don't like venting to my friends all the time. I don't want them to feel that they're only there to make me feel better or have someone to complain to. Well, I have to go pretend like I'm going to bed now...I really don't want to start another fight. I just noticed something...the worst fights we have are over the stupidest things...a cottonball, a trashbag, and a box. >_<; 23:44 ~Kurai |
| 11.11.02 21:30 Warg... This weekend wasn't overly-pleasant. I did get to talk to Miss Ayeka and Duo-kun, so that makes up for it. Hrm...I updated the fanfiction. ^.^; I stuck some of my poems and an essay on there...*is going to get flamed big time* I'm bored...u_u; Am I just incapable of being loved by someone other than my family, crack-addicts and weird lechers? Oi...I just want to know that someone (that has a credible mind, preferably) likes me in that way. I really want to be loved, but I'm starting to think that I'm incapable of it. I'd really appreciate people's comments on this...any comments...and no, spam does not count as comments. I miss J-kun...u_u; 21:39 ~Kurai |
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| 11.13.02 20:34 Erg....today was particularly frustrating. I really don't like having to put up with other people's incompetence. First I was sick and spent twenty minutes in the bathroom puking, thankfully, that was during my teacher's aide block... Then I was called out to spend the last 10 minutes of 2nd block and half of my lunch dealing with inept adults. Okay, we have around 300 seniors and they had two people there taking our forms for cap and gowns. And they had to check everything....didn't even trust my math. Well, I don't blame them there, but mom checked it before I turned it in... During my fifteen minute lunch break, I was forced to deal with people not comprehending my vocabulary. I told one guy that he was 'overly exhuberant' and he just kinda stared at me and asked what that meant. I replied that it means that he's very enthusiastic. Strike two...he still had no idea as to what I was talking about... Finally, Duckie apparently had heard enough and yelled out 'you're too #$@%-ing happy'. The guy understood then. Arg...So sorry, but I just can't lower my IQ that low... Third block was okay, I just ignored Eric... I did find out why I can't seem to find anyone for me...seems they're all intimidated by my intelligence level. o.O I didn't even think it was that high! *dies* The guy I was talking to told me that he'd feel inferior....and that he sees me as "the executive of the company that owns the planet". O.O; He said that he could never date me because he spends half his evening coming up with intelligent topics for the three hours we spend together each day. Am I THAT bad? 4th was awful, but it always is. The man said one of the dumbest things I've heard a teacher say to date... We were all working on our statistics and he suddenly commands our attention and happily says "Hey, look at the neat circle!" o.O Alex commented that he's afraid that the man will one day be thinking intently about something, then announce "I just realized that I put my underwear on backwards". Then Alex asked what I'd do if he (the teacher) did...I flat out told him that I'd just walk out. Take my stuff and just leave before ALL of my intelligence is sucked from my brain. On a non-school related level, I've discovered the secret to easy weightloss...just get sick. Everything I've eaten today has been almost instantly purged from my body. Hee...XD...Alex and I were talking about mind control in third block today... I told him that the first thing that I'd do would be just to plant suggestions in people's minds. He agreed and stared at one of the pretty chicks in the room while chanting 'obese Mexicans are sexy' in a hypnotic voice...I lost it. I cracked up... (I suppose it helps to know that Alex is a large Hispanic man...) Of course, then we launced a pear out the window...>_<; Ah, the joys of physics class... Alex is the one that's always asking me weird questions while I'm trying to do my work...ones such as 'if you could have any superpower, which one would it be?' If I can't think of an answer in time, I just whisper/yell 'do your work!'. One thing I can always count on is his ability to cheer me up. He made my day increasingly less mind-numbing. Were it not for him, I probably would have tried to strangle the statistics teacher when he made the circle comment... -_-; One of Alex's questions that still gets me was "I wonder if Mr. Lacey (the statistics teacher) is this incompetent in his sex life. HOW did he reproduce?!" It caught me completely off guard. We've decided that Mr. Lacey's some alien that's trying to be human, but failing miserably at it, like in those REALLY old science fiction movies. We also came to the conclusion that he hypnotized his wife into marrying him and he built his daughter. (His daughter is a psychiatrist. WHY doesn't she see the signs and institutionalize him?!?!) I really can't stand that man...u_u;;; Oh, wow...I've babbled a lot...o.O Sorry! ^.^;;; 21:03 ~Kurai |
| 11.18.02 21:21 RAGE!!! I can't determine the coefficient of static friction! I've been working on that ONE problem for two hours now! I can't do any of the other problems because they all use the coefficient of static friction and if I can't determine what the coefficient of static friction IS, I can't just BS it because the entire problem would be wrong. That's the problem with math...you can't BS your answers. Sometimes you can BS how you got them, but the answer is either right or wrong. I keep getting something like .227504 for steel on steel and that's just so entirely wrong...it's supposed to be something near .741982 and it's just way off...and there's nothing I can do about it. I looked it up online and I thought I understood it better, but I came up with that .227504 answer, which is close to the coefficient for paper on steel. I did it with trig and got something like .998705 o.O That's like sandpaper on sandpaper or velcro on velcro... I hope Mr. D doesn't mind my coming up during lunch and pestering him about this... Arg...must...calm...down! x_X It just really irritates me when I don't understand something. I mean REALLY irritates me. I suppose it's good for my work ethic and all, but man, it's really bad for what little bit of a social life I have, 'cause there's a lot of stuff I don't understand. It's really gonna irritate me until I do something drastic like call call Mr. C up at 21:30 and start psycho-babbling about my not being capable of determining the coefficient of static friction. That would be really bad and I really don't want to do that to J-kun's dad...I mean, he had to go through it when J-kun had physics and, I mean, sheesh! He shouldn't have to go through it with me especially since I'm not even his kid...it would be really rude and all and I don't like being rude... *twitches* Betcha can't guess what I do when I get frustrated! I psycho-babble! XD I was talking to myself about my inept-ness when my grandfather poked his head in the door and asked who I was talking to and I simply replied "myself" and promptly continued my conversation and I'm pretty sure that he thinks I'm insane or something now, but I'm not, I'm just overly-frustrated at the moment and I've even got a decent reason for once -- well, it's decent to me, at least, 'cause I understand me for the most part...it'd be really bad if I didn't understand me at all, but I guess then I'd be schizophrenic and I'm really not although it may seem like it right now, but I'm not, just take my word on it. Wow...was that paragraph all one sentence? o.O Well, technically it's not a sentence 'cause it's one giant run-on sentence, but I guess that'd make it a sentence, just a very incorrect one. x_X I think I'm starting to confuse myself even further than what I already am. That's not good, just for future reference, 'cause I really hate being confused...it makes me babble like this and I'm sure I'm getting on everyone's nerves, but hey, you can just stop reading if I'm inadvertantly frying an abnormally large portion of your neurons. Hey, I bet Mr. Lacey could follow my train of thought during this! o.O I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. I mean, it IS good that someone would be able to comprehend what I'm saying, but it's Mr. Lacey and that's just not good...at all. Hey, I'm kinda tired now and that's a good thing because I need to sleep because I'm starting to get yet another cold and I really hate colds especially when they involve regurgitation...but that was last week, Thursday and Friday to be excessively specific. Mr. Lacey's going to London Wednesday and normally that'd be a good thing, but I'm actually understanding and I need all the good grades I can get and I can't get grades if he's not here, although he said that he'd take up our homework, but I'll never be able to get anything done, what with Alex and Jenn talking to me all the time. Maybe I can convince them to leave me alone somehow...but they're really persistant when it comes to being cheery so I doubt my efforts will pay off...maybe if I brought pepper spray...*ponders* I'm starting to wonder if there's a conspiracy to have all the older male teachers like me...in that way... No! No more old lechers! *cowers in corner* 'Cause a few months ago, one of my teachers from last year told me to 'shake it' and Mr. Lacey always says hello to me. That may not seem like a big thing, but even when I'm in a crowd of his current students, he always says hi to me...no one else....just me...o.O And today, Duckie informed me that Mr. Lacey practically stopped in the middle of the hallway to stare at my butt. o.O;;; I really hope he wasn't being serious...'cause I'm getting really tired of attracting all the lechers. I'd really like to attract a nice SMART person every now and then, you know? Well, I'm going to go stare at my ceiling while complaining to myself about not being able to find the coefficient of static friction.... 22:02 ~Kurai |
| 11.25.02 21:40 Mutiny.... My computer is rebelling against my control over it. Soon I will set it ablaze just like the last one... -_- Only a half a day left... *snickers* I've had this sudden obsession with learning German. XD I don't know why, but it's fun to call people things in German. It's fun to watch people as you call them 'katzchen'. They don't know that it means 'kitten'... Someone teach me more German! Pwease? *Chihuahua eyes* *sighs* I'm so bored. I could go fix some links....that sounds good... 21:53 ~Kurai |