But one Christmas when the Things were given the minicars that they were to give to the king on his birthday, the Thingies played a nasty little trick. As the Things were being (give....gaven...given...give...gave.......) the toys, the Thingies blew them up with a nasty little toy (subjecting all Things to death by Poopoo.)
But one Thing had the only surviving car! It was a mint condition Hotwheels pimpin minicar. He even "made up" his own little poem: 'One car to rule them all, one car to bind them, one car to rule them all, and use the controller to drive them.' Him and the gang jumped on his sleek 1975 Mustang Colt and headed off to a big mountian where they carelessly stood on a pointy ledge and dropped the toy minicar.
"Dammit!" the Thing shouted. "I needed those frickin batteries, yo! Dude did you remember my Gameboy?"
"No! Sorry man," the other Thing yelled.
"Thank god! Cause if you had I'd be really pissed off right now! Hours of fun in a little box and no batteries to use it! Man that's enough to make me want to trip, fall off this ledge, reach for the car, and have you help me back up!" he said.
"Mr......Thing! NOOOO! Wait, I like, beoch don't you dare, even more," the other Thing said.
Finally the writer got bored of writing extra just to explain that he has no idea what the hell these guys' names are so we shall now call the dude with the car Ken and the other dude Kyle.
"Okay then...Kyle...I won't," Ken said.
"Thank you very much, Mr. Ken," Kyle said.
"Dammit man! What the hell is up with all this 'Mr.' and 'Master' bizz nazz up in here?!" Ken screamed with a hip hop beat.
"Sorry Ken. But I just thought since I'm based on Sam I should play the part," Kyle said shamefully.
"Sam? Sam's a frickin queer!" Ken said.
The two left the mountain view to go be attacked by people wearing overalls and carrying pitch forks in a nearby village. But they had only thought the minicar had fallen into the pit of molten burning hot stuff. In the distance as they walked down the hill, they heard a scream: "Damn you cheap ass McBurgerKing! I want my frickin fries now!"
It was then that they knew their journey was far from over......