In 9 out of 10 emails, responses to personal ads and IM�s from men, they have used one or more of the sayings above. What I found out through talking to a few is that they have personal issues. I believe they use these statements not only to snare a woman, but also to actually make themselves believe they are different or nice. The psychological community calls these �positive affirmations�. These affirmations are said to heal both mind and body. Many people who have life threatening diseases use them to aid in healing. I personally have seen this to be effective!
Men will actually talk themselves into a whole different being. Some men actually have built up a different persona. It may be a personality to fit the situation. This is what I call schizo-dating. They will listen to what a women says intently, finding out her likes, dislikes and then creating someone within who resembles what she is looking for.
So what happens when you snare a date with one of these �nice� and �different� guys? Will it turn out to be a great date with a truly nice and different guy or just another run-of-the-mill time away from the mundane tasks at home alone? Will he be able to keep up the act of being a �nice� or �different� person?
On these dates, most of the different or nice guys proceed to go into length about what makes them a �nice� or �different guy. Many hours will pass that the man will go on about how he is better in all aspects of life, from being a great listener to how he will wait on a woman hand and foot while she is in bed with the flu. As the night progresses the woman may not have been able to get a word in edgewise!
To be fair, only a small percentage of the �different� or �nice� guys are �schizo-daters� or tend to ignore their dates need to take part in the �conversation�. Some will actually let her go on at length about herself. What seems to happen over the course of dating however, that these guys tend to have the same bad habits, roaming eyes or other unwanted habits as their �bad boy� counterparts? Many will get caught in the �game� of trying to persuade the woman that he is genuinely like the person he has made up.
The age-old question most guys ask still remains unanswered: Why do women go after the wrong men? Perhaps it is because �bad boys� are up front about everything. We as women know they have bad habits. �Nice� guys need to be more forthcoming with women and stop hiding behind what makes them so good and let it all hang out! No man is truly 100% saint.
Bottom line boys, if you want to catch her eye, let her catch one of your quirky or semi bad habits as long as it doesn�t involve another woman, foul language, physical or mental abuse or anything illegal! One evil little grin may make all the difference. And remember, an affirmation such as �I will be more attentive to a woman�s needs�, �I am nice and women will want me because I can back up my words with actions�, �I don�t need to make up a new personality, I am great the way I am�. When you are confident, your confidence will show through and you will find yourself with a great woman!
And for the women out there who find themselves dating a �schizo-dater�, RUN...and don�t look back!
