Married men and woman have found a �safe� way to cheat without any emotional entanglements or repercussions. They merely log-on and get off, so to speak. Every day there is a new crop of discussion groups, personal ad sites, pornography sites, web rings and many other cyber media that is geared toward married people.
In the brain of the cheater, since there is no �physical� contact they can justify their actions. What they don�t realize is that like the old fashioned type of �cloak and dagger� cheating, they may become physically and emotionally attached regardless. There are women who have put ads on sites like �Cheating Wives Personals� who look for a real physical relationship. Many go there thinking that they will just put the ad up and not really meet anyone in person. Men go to pornography sites to search for certain things that lack in their own sex lives.
Many of the cheaters make up fictitious lives and post them as their own personal profiles. These come in handy when frequenting the chat rooms. They can say they aren�t married. They can say that they are separated (surely their spouse has no clue as they still slave to keep the other happy). Many will start special �friendships� online that do become and emotionally attached with another person. They don�t view it that way, justifying it by believing that since they will never actually meet this person in the flesh, that they are not doing anything wrong.
The cheater IS cheating. Anytime a person has a physical or emotional outlet other than their spouse, is committing adultery. Yes, this view is somewhat over the top, but let�s just look at this theory. If a person has to go online to view porno just for the sake of getting off on their own, they are cheating their spouse of the spontaneity of making love. Ok, some relationships may need the boost that pornography helps give, but what if that is the only way that a person can become turned on.....if that has become their �crutch�, so to speak. And what about the people who are having cyber sex? Talking their way through the act possibly while masturbating. Couldn�t their quite possible be other factors involved? Are their underlying causes such as marital problems?
Instead of logging in to adult sites, maybe most of these �cyber cheaters� should cuddle up to their spouse, or log-on to self-help sights. Sometimes all a person needs is to change their thinking a little and spice up their lives from within. Their will always be cheating, but we need to take a look at ourselves and change our attitudes and how we treat our mate to try to ward off any possible problems. And if we find ourselves looking to someone else, or to somewhere else to find what we are lacking, then we must decide if it�s really worth the inner guilt. We may not find it now, but down the line, at some point there is that twinge that maybe we are doing something wrong.
Take it from a former �cyber� and �cloak and dagger� cheater, once you do it, you can never go back!
