I watched Shaquille O�Neal, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Melissa Etheridge and others were showing off their wedding ceremonies. Being the overly sensitive person I am I cried at precisely the right moments and then wondered where I had gone wrong.
Three weddings under my belt (always the bride, never the bridesmaid!) and not once had I been married in anything other than jeans and a shirt. What was I possibly thinking? Was this possibly an omen that my marriage wouldn�t last? That maybe since we didn�t care enough to dress up how could we ever care about our marriage or each other.
Little girls dream about their weddings. I was busy playing in the mud and tar with the neighbor boys. Now, years later I�m having those dreams. Ok, so it took me a while to catch up with other girls. I�ve always been a little behind the curve.
Tonight I thought of how wonderful it would be to find that man who I would want to dress up for, walk down a seemingly endless aisle for and stand up and profess my undying love to him in front of family and friends. I want to have the fairy tale, the white gown with ribbons, bows, lace and tulle, the reception with the people whom I care most about and that care for me. I want a honey-moon somewhere other than a cheap hotel down the street from my barracks so I can be there by the 6:30 physical training formation.
By this point in my life I have matured, gotten out of the military and have realized what my priorities are in life. But at the same time, most men my age have already had the fairy tale wedding and aren�t willing to do it again, not even for me. What is a middle-aged bride wannabe to do?
I guess at this point the first step is to finally have the man of my dreams in my life and work towards the happy ending. Maybe a huge wedding at St. Paul�s Cathedral is out of the question, but maybe, just maybe I�ll be able to wear a nice gown this time in front of the Justice of the Peace! I hope! I do!
