November 26, 2001
Guess who decided to eat lunch with us today? Ben.....i noticed that Andrew calls him Benjamin....oh wellz.....yeah..he came up and asked me if he could eat lunch with me and Amy....i was like..."i never kicked you out buddy, you left" So he came and ate lunch with us..."YAY" i mean.....i never understood why he decided to turn his back against me....but that's okie...now it's juss clement that i have to deal with...i dunno i can't really trust Ben either...it's juss that...ya knoe....you kinda hesitate when your put your trust into someone or something...and it doesn't want it....but then comes back for it later....it's like what the hell????? Anywayz....this morning i woke up around 4 to do my late chem lab and i got really dizzy again....i felt like shit..but i was like i gotta do this lab....so i did it....i felt like shit the whole day....like i was going to throw up....puke.....yeah.....you got the picture i'm sure.......i'll stop on that......but right before i jumped in the shower...i was like......"i'm dying...i have a brain tumor.....i don't have much longer to live....." and then i took my shower.....but somehow i think it's true... I mean the other day i had a dream that i lost one of my front teeth on the top.....it was prettie scary...and in Korea they have the supersitition that if you lose a tooth in a dream on the top, then someone in your family dies....i hope that doesn't happen....i dunno the weird thing was...in english we were talking about emily dickinson poems and one of them was about death...it was so scary...i mean.....so true.....you dont' wanna admit that death has happened or is going to happen and you pay attention to small details......dunno. |
