| 1:44 p.m. - HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! It was great spending time with my parents (although they were asleep when i went to our family room around 11:30 p.m.) I am truly thankful for my family, although i do tend to bitch -n-moan about them...hehe. I didn't get to finish all my English stuff that i had planned to do yesterday. Right now, beside writing a journal entry, I'm trying to organize for my History class....gotta love Mr. Layton! Ah~i'm so backed up and i'm overwhelmed of all the work that is coming ahead of me. Yes, the year is almost half-way over, but still it's scary. I still have to graduate HIGH SCHOOL...that's so scary. Geez, what if i don't pass Henry's class and it all falls tumbling down on me? Geez~ I hate it~ I knoe i will end up with like a D- in her class for this semsester...i don't think she is particularly fond of me.....i dunno...no clue........ak! I translated a song yesterday. I didn't come out as i quite planned it to be....but it had a sad meaning...about how couples don't understand each other...and that's one reason why some get "disinterested"...maybe that's what happened with me and andrew...but then again....who knoes? I juss started to think....what if? and those what ifs...turned into.....ah! i can't stand this! Doesn't make much sense, eh? It's all good......cuz i understand what i'm thinking (that's a good start, isn't it?) Yeah...i guess i was the girl in the song i translated...Gotta go for now~! 7:21 p.m. - Ah! Today has been a very unproductive workday...geez! I dunno. I'm working on some chemistry right now.....it makes me so made sometimes....i should've juss paid attention in chemistry and it would've been juss so much easier.....geez~ i don't get it! ah! I regret so much of NOT paying attention in class.....and now it has come to haunt me~ arg! well. It's weird...i was looking at my chinese zodiac......and i was doing the compatilblity stuff...although a monkey would be perfect for me....i would do fine with a dog or a boar. Interesting....haha.....and the previous relationships that i had....what they said about my compatilibity was so oddly true~i actually don't believe in this stuff...but i know if i had a marriage prospect and told my mom she would ask about my guy's birthday and the time that he was born....she says she really doesn't believe it..and she juss does it for fun...but whatever~ hahah....my mom's friend is a fortune teller in korea..and one time she didn't say who it was and juss put my birthday in...and she said that the person had really bad eyes......it's true. I am blind as a bat...i can only see you if you are right in my face....otherwise....you are juss a blurry image to me.......i can only distinguish you by color and the color of your clothes juss clashes together...sad, isn't it......well my mom has to use the phone so i'll wrap it up here~ baii~* |
| Tuesday, January 1, 2002 |
| Love wasn�t as easy as I thought it would be� Even though I tried to love passionately, it didn�t become, as I wanted it to become� The words to break up didn�t come out as easily as I thought they would� When I saw your face in reality, my mouth wouldn�t open up. So that�s why I ended up calling you, while looking at a piece of paper that I wrote beforehand I just continued to read the words I wanted to say to you and then hung up the phone� That�s why you didn�t know how I felt� Still you knew that my heart changed first� Therefore besides the reason why we broke up� The reason/truth that you were dumped first� I thought made you hurt� Well, how come you think that way�. How come it�s that way until the end� Why can�t you forget me? You don�t know, You really don�t know me� From this moment we break up, you still don�t know how I felt� When I first saw you, I really was crushed (I had a crush on you) My heart was fluttering I couldn�t sleep at all� Your appearance when you talk to people� Your appearance when you laugh, talk, and joke around� My eyes never left you even for a second� Because you were so pretty I didn�t have any confidence� From that moment, from the moment we were dating I was restless� Because I loved you so much� You were younger than me when we dated� We were dull and didn�t do a lot of things. I thought that might be a reason for you to leave me� If you wanted to do something, I let you do everything you wanted� I listened to all your words, your arguments that didn�t work/make sense While letting that happen, your own world became bigger and bigger� Soon, to the point I couldn�t stand it, I became a small portion of it. You don�t know, you really don�t know me� From this we break up, you still don�t know how I felt� After breaking up like that, you called me twice asking� How I was doing and why I didn�t call� She told me in a tone that didn�t mean anything� I thought she could have at least said that she was sorrie� Or just not in that tone of voice, that�s what I expected� However you were still the same� Therefore, I was compelled to hang up the phone again� Yet, the words saying that I didn�t want to break up� You don�t know the words in my heart that I couldn�t say� You don�t know� (You don�t know me�) You really don�t know me� (You don�t know�) From this moment we break up� (You�) You don�t know how I feel� (You don�t know�) You don�t know how I feel� (You don�t know�) You don�t know. You really don�t know how I feel� (You really don�t know me. You really don�t know me�) From this moment we break up you don�t know me� (From this moment you don�t know me�) - G.O.D.'s *Moh Ruh Jo* (You Don't know) |