The Two Month Itch
Guess what time of the year it is. No it's not the annual nose picking contest.
It's the time in my life where I am getting the two month itch. Now most people
know this phenomenon as the two year itch, but in my upbringing of TV watching
action and short attention spans I have managed to evolve from two years to two
months.
You might be wondering what I am getting the itch over. With many people it's their place of employment, for others it's a relationship, and with the rest it's the town they're living in.
So which one am I? Work, Sex, or Home? For me, at this unusual time in my life it happens to be all three. That's right, all three. Now some more then others and just because I have the itch it doesn't mean I have to necessarily itch it.
This first itch is my place of employment. I have been working there for almost
two months now and it has sucked from day one. The only thing that keeps me from
slitting my throat during my eight hour, five days a week job is the people I
have the pleasure of working with. This job consists of the ever so mind numbing
task of data entree and data verifying so you can see why I feel this way.
So why do you stay there at all?
It pays twice as much as any job I could get for just the summer. So I put up
with it. Do you really think I want to work in a deli again making only minimum
wage with a bunch of guys in their late 20's who need a week of training so they
can learn to make a turkey sandwich. Fuck no! I have one month until I go back
to school so for now I put up with it, but I'm so close to just not showing up
anymore. I'm calling in sick tomorrow so I can relax and distress myself. If I'm
lucky I will come down with the plague next.
My next itch is my place of living. I recently came back to the town I was raised
in and am living with my parents so I can save some money for school next year.
When it comes to me and my home town I usually can only stand about 1 to 2 months
worth before I remember why the hell I got out of here. All the old friends who
are still living in high school, the people on the street who recognize you and
say high but you don't want to talk to, and the knowledge of knowing I have already
done everything so what should I do now. I'm taking care of this itch in one month,
when I go back to my school that is 400 miles away.
I might be taking care of it, but damn does it itch like crazy.
My third and final itch is of course with my current relationship. Now by writing this I want everyone to know I am simultaneously shooting myself in the foot because my girlfriend is the only person I told about this page and of course she checks on the page every once in a while to see if I wrote about her. Today I am. Hi.
This itch is the same one I get with every relationship I have ever had. I don't
know if it is fear of commitment, love, or fear of the future, but it sure as
hell scares me. With my current relationship I am once again getting this itch,
but I don't like having it. This girl is someone I consider to be one of my best
friends so I know it is not that I am getting sick of her, but maybe I am. I don't
think it's love because even if it was I wouldn't let myself fall due to the fact
that I am moving in one month no matter what.
For a little history on me, before the last time I moved I fell in love with this girl after only two weeks of dating her and when we broke up because of my moving it was the most painful feeling I have ever felt. Let it be known that I asked her to move with me, but she said no. Fucking love hurts.
And finally I don't think it is fear of commitment because we both know very well
that it ends Sep. 1. That is when she moves back to where she came from and I
go back to school. So what the hell is it. Maybe it's a guy thing. Maybe it's
because I'm a Senseless Bastard. Or maybe I am just a scared little kid stuck
in the body of a 21 year old.
What ever it is I hate that it is making me feel uncomfortable. And usually when
I get uncomfortable I get away from the situation. But for once I would like to
see myself stick it out and turn an uncomfortable situation into something more
to my liking. I guess I will see what the future holds soon enough.
Shit, I thought if I wrote this out I would feel better, but right now all I feel is more confusion and fear. I'm sure when my lady reads this she might feel the need to say something to me and I hope she does. But she better not put words into my mouth. Well, one more month and all my current itches will stop. That is until the new ones come out.
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