So on a somewhat brighter note, I went out wtth Virgina satureday night. It was really fun except we didn't get to drink the booze we bought. Thats sucked ass. But we drove back to Alvarado and just sat and chilled and I told her a bunch of stories. It's nice to be around someone who desires you. However, I kinda still feel in this shitty place. I mean I really want to find a girl that I can be cool with and I almost intentionally turn down women on the account that I have a girlfriend, which I don't. And I don't know if she feels the same way. Excuse me for not wanting to feel like I'm cheating on someone. I mean what am I supposed to say that I am dating some else we can go out later. She talks like she has no view of me that way but she sure doesn't act like it. I kind of get the feeling this whole sex thing is going to inch its way closer into our "relationship" too. I just want someone I can relate too and be cool with. Which ironcly is what she is. So what the fuck. My options are to try and move whatever we got in the direction of something more convinent to me or to somehow someone who can be there the way I want and not diss off virgina. Maybe I just won't say anthing to her and do my own thing. If i bring it up she will get pissed off again. I hate starting that transitional phaze with a new girl. It is so annoying. You have all those insecurities and you know so little about them. And then you have to do that whole tell them everything about your family phaze. This can keep a relationship going for about 2 maybe 3 dates. After that you actually have to talk. so sink or swim. Remind me to go over my scale and relationships theroies.