Could you believe the gas price bullshit? (Ball) All these petroleum companies turn in record breaking profit while millions of Americans suffer. I know that $3 dollar gas had me by the balls. Fuck that. Then again, this is a (Ball) capitalistic government. This is what you get. If you really want to be technical about it, in a true capitalistic government there is no such thing as price gouging, supply and demand right? This is why I'm a communist. I just hope people have had a taste of what is to come. We as a country have got to get our energy consumption under control. I for one think solar energy is the key. I think it is too inefficient to have our power mass produced. I have this business idea of selling solar panel system to every house in America. It would have to be supplemented, but it would still cut our energy cost by a quarter. (Ball) It was the premise on the Matrix too. See, as soon as we tap on our solar resources we can get robots and then I can have my minions to take over the world. (Ball)
I have a gambling problem. I am at a negative 21 dollars since starting to play scratch offs and lotto. You know what they say; you can't win if you don't play. I'll get the big one sooner or later. (Ball) Natasha said she'd let me be her sugar daddy. I'm starting to think that is the only way I could ever get her to see me as hers again. Honestly, that's why I even play the lotto. If I had money she would see me as worth being with. I look back and she is on another planet compared to me. (Ball) She's getting her masters, moving up the corporate ladder like a bullet, and drop dead gorgeous to boot. The realistic side of me feels like I should just be grateful for what I was able to get. All that stuff doesn't and didn't matter to me. (Ball) The kiss hellos and the kiss goodbyes, that is what was worth the most to me. If I win a lot of money, I can go to school full time and finish my degree in 18 months. I wouldn't have to work like a dog and penny pinch in life and in school. I'm either pathetically desperate or desperately pathetic, you pick. Natty doesn't fall into the category of gold diggers and bitches who want so much but give so little. She has a lot and I have a lot less. She has every right to want more from me. Unfortunately I can't give much more than I am now.(Ball) But I'm still moving on and up. It has been over 2 months and I miss her deeply and love her so much� if not so much more. If only I didn't have all this time to fill my head with thoughts. (Ball) I have school work to do and booze to drink away my problems with. (Ball) Who knows, maybe next Saturday will be different. (Ball Game)