First 'date' after Natasha�ummmm�not much to say. It really is a weird feeling. Nothing much of anything happened. You get to know a little something about the person. You feel them out a bit, see their likes and dislikes. Kind of see their reactions to things. I felt good, but not great. Honestly, it was just nice to have someone's company. That's what I really miss about Natty. As much as I complained about her not wanting to do anything, and as much as it drove me up the wall when she would just want to sleep through an entire weekend, she was someone that I loved who was there in the flesh. I'm so lost right now and not knowing what I feel. Even tonight, I thought a lot about our first date natty and I. I remember that weird feeling, the butterflies and the looks into her eyes. She was so beautiful, she is so beautiful. It is kind of a fault of everyone when they get back into the water so to speak. You kind of have this bar and this nagging habit of compare and contrast. You try not to. It isn't as if there is some standard set fourth or I would want someone just like Natty, because obviously I don't. But you want those same feelings. I shouldn't right off the ship that fast. I got some good feelings. She was really cute, and smelled nice. I really just wanted to put my head in her lap and fall asleep. But that didn't happen. We talked a bit and watched 'any given Sunday' which apparently she really likes. This is better though. I didn't do anything I would regret. I didn't do anything really. I keep the door open and things are ok. I feel a little less alone right now, even though I am. Not quite sure she was digging me, not quite sure she wasn't. Whatever, nothing has changed, is the only thing that has changed. Ugh, weekends suck.