Blah Blah Blah, I am so bored. I feel like driving a nail through my foot just to give me some excitement. I don't really feel like doing anything, but doing nothing is driving me crazy. I just ate a bowl of cereal. Not because I was hungry, but because I was so bored I figured it would give me something to do. I don't even feel like watching porn�PORN. How weird is that? Never had that happen before. Oh well, maybe it is a good thing. I actually went to school to finish my math homework and workout; of course the workout part never manifested its self. I did about two reps and then was done. 2 months ago I had all this energy to really workout but now I don't. I was doing a lot of that for Natasha though, so I guess that explains it. I'm not feeling to bad now anyway. Still don't have those 6 pack abs, but I'm ok with myself. Big news for me this week, I had put in for 2 duplicate positions with the district a while back. Finally I got interviews scheduled for both. Right now my salary is 14,000 which is nothing. This position is for 16-20,000 which would be a real nice income boost along with bringing just a little more credibility. It looks a lot better when my area of study is engineering and drafting to be a computer lab assistant than a PE Assistant. I like what I do now. I have fun and I like working w/ the kids, but I have to take every opportunity to improve that I can. I'll do just about anything to get a little less broke. My CC bill is over 4,000!! That is crazy. If I can dedicate 200 to that a month I can get it under control. I realize I need more financial responsibility. I knew that a long time ago, but Natty really showed me how important it is. She is really good w/ her money. It is easier for her since she makes good money, but I still always looked up to her for that. I learned a lot from her. I hope that within a couple of years I can be in her situation. I know that she looked down on me a lot of times, which made me feel good. But I wonder if she knew that I looked up to her. I only hope that when she is with some new asshole who doesn't open doors for her, bring flowers, or isn't there for her waiting on her hand and foot she thinks of me. Make no mistake about it, it was all her decision. I'm ok with it now. If she needs me in the middle of the night, I'd be there in a flash, and that is for life. I'm like that w/ the people I love. Even Jill knows that if she ever needed me I'd be there for her. That's real love. Real love doesn't end.