It's not often I admit I am wrong. In fact, the last time I remember being wrong was when I thought I made a mistake...but didn't. Well, here I am, for the whole world to read that I was wrong about something. I cannot, in good conscience, keep a relationship in any form with Jill. Prior to last night, I believed that it would be acceptable to keep Jill as friend in the true sense of the word. This is wrong of me. I love Jill and always will in my own way, but as it was put to me, she is a cancer. I can't let her bring me down. I don't know how or why but I have met an absolutely amazing person. If I would have made a list and written down all the qualities that make a perfect woman, and then submit that list to god, Natasha is what he would have given me. And maybe that's exactly what happened. Maybe I bitched so much about women that god got tired of hearing from me and decided to just cave in and give me what I wanted. If this is so then maybe this is hope for me and my financial situation or lack there of. I can't describe to you who this woman is. She is what I never thought I would find. This is why I can't jeopardize this. I will not in any circumstance do anything that could cause me any problems and potentially lead to problems in our relationship or hurt Natty, which I think I did. Well, I know I did. For some reason I thought coming clean would be a good idea, evidently it wasn't. And I recognize what I did was wrong. I don't even have to give a second thought about what I need to do. There is no question in my mind how I will conduct myself. I will not mess up this great relationship. I have no problem and no remorse in not talking to or having any association with Jill. It's just best that way. And I would expect the same. I think that is the bottom line, would I want that, obviously not. I hang on Natty's every word and drink up her affection as if it was water from the fountain of youth. And to think that she would accept or be content with me having split attention is just flat out stupid. Jill for all her faults was there for me in her own way when I didn't have anyone. I can't pretend like I didn't appreciate that. But I don't need that anymore. And I won't go back to her. And although I was once there, it isn't my responsibility to be there for her and honestly it really never was. So to much applause from many I'm sure, I'm going to cut her off completely. She's had problems and has always ended up ok, so I'm sure she'll be alright. I don't need to worry and won't. I have one concern, one affection, and one love. I want the whole world to know that I'm happy. After YEARS of different degrees of depression, now I'm happy. And it's because of her. : )