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You know that little thing that everyone is constantly looking for but few seem to ever find? And then the people that do find it tell you it's everywhere and that if you be patient you can find it too. What's that called�.oh yea�happiness. The words seem to escape me, but I have found my girl. And she has a name, her name is Natasha. Now, being a veteran in the game of relationships I know not to get too over my head with someone that I haven't known for too long but, I am cautiously optimistic. I'm sure you are thinking what in the hell does this girl have or do or say that is so special that Joe, the psycho, the same guy who refers to 90% of women as stupid, the same guy who swore off white women, the same guy that keeps in touch w/ a person who is probably going to get him killed�.. would fall head over heels for. And to that question, I have no answer. Other than she gets it. What is it? No way of putting it into words. Sort of like that soft glass feeling you get when you feel her skin. Which in my mind is what glass would feel like if it was some how soft and not hard and solid. How you know that your girl has it is something no one can tell you. Maybe it's the way she says you're handsome just out of the blue and you know you are a tubby bastard who needs a shave and shirt that didn't walk off the set of the 'wonder years'. Maybe it's the way she walks up behind you and puts her arms around you just when you needed her to and you didn't even say anything.. Or perhaps it's the way she looks at you in the dark under the sheets; you can't really see her eyes staring in to yours. You only see a tiny glare or reflection but you still feel them. Or, maybe it's the silence. When you are just laying there and not saying a word. There is no awkward silence, no racing through your mind trying to find something to say or make small talk. Just peace and just a tiny barely noticable smile on each others face. Hell, I can't explain it or pretend to know what 'it' is. It's more like the total package and realizing that the little things in life are what are important. Go ahead, call me a sap. Hell most of the shit I just said problaby sounds like it came from a gay romance novel. I don't care. I feel like I have been "de-assholeized". I'm not sure that is a word, but it should be. And it's not a bad feeling. I kind of like it. I just might keep it around for awhile.
Fuck GW. I hate that prick. I hope you didn't think I had lost my distinct analytical appeal. I'm still me, and this is still the world according to Joe. I and I say that guy is the biggest douche bag ever. My brother was supposed to ship out the first week of February for Kuwait. Ok, that sucks in and of its self. But just days before Christmas, he gets orders they will be leaving on the 30th�of December. Of course that fucks up everyone's entire holiday. I didn't get to see my brother and I probably won't seem him unless I get drafted for about 18 months. What an asshole. Whatever�
I went to the emergency room while I was in Florida with the parental units, I'm not going to die anytime soon, but there is something wrong w/ me. Unfortunately, I don't know what that is and neither do the doctors. I had an irregular "t-wave" on my "ekg". I'm a little disappointed because all the countless hours of my life wasted watching 'ER' have done me no good. If only I was having a baby while trapped in a car in the freezing rain while a riot was breaking out all around me and I was having an affair with an interning doctor� then I would know what to do. But whatever�shit happens. |
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