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Merry Christmas to all! Actually I don�t give a fuck about any of you, just kidding. I�m 20 years old. My Christmas has changed. I remember loving Christmas, way back when. It seems like it was so long ago. Of course everything seems different when you were kids. I guess now since I�m broke it kinds of effects me and I tend to be somewhat less companionate about the season. I mean after all it is the season of giving, and I can�t give. I wish I could really show my appreciation for people. And I will one day. I�ll be able to give all the people I care about whatever they want. Let�s see�if I had money the gifts I would give. I would give my dad a shiny new truck, fully loaded and with good fuel economy so he wouldn�t complain. I�d get my brother nick a life time supply of carwash. I�d get my grandmother her own green house and pay for an assistant that she can order around. I�d get my mom her own caf�. I would call it �Bella M�. I know she�d love it and it would have food and an environment from our culture and family, everyone would be welcome. My brother Julian I would get a legitimate job so he would quit the stupid modeling thing. To my brother Miguel I would get his own newspaper article. So he could dictate to the world how he thought things should be. Although I suspect it would only be a couple of days before he started getting the death threats. I would get Musa his own spot on ESPN. Hell, he could do that now, the moose talk�s sports better than all those idiots. My dog Jeagan I would have to really hook up. I�d get him a plasma TV w/ every system and every game within the last 4 years. Nate dog, dude, I�ll hook you up. Definitely a ping pong table. Ahhh Jill, what would I get you? I�d have to setup your life. I�d get you an apartment, a decent car, a decent job that you would like. I�d get C his own personal teacher so he�d grow up to be real smart. Yea I�d start there and then just never end. I just want to give. How gay is that, right? In hindsight that�s my nature. All I�ve ever done is look out for the people around me; it bothers me that I can�t do that. My mom said I was a really bitter person. I don�t think I am. I�m usually rather content. However, the reality of reality does affect me. Some people can just distance themselves from the world and its problems. I can�t do that, more over I won�t do that. It�s as I�ve always said, my biggest strength is my biggest weakness�ambition. It�s that drive I have. Christmas is a good time of year. I love my family and I love the people around me. My personal drive keeps me going but it does hold me back emotionally. I�ll accept my manor. |
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