lol, who knew that someone would actually keep that weird flame boarder on their site ^_^. hm.. well today is "officially" the last day of school... how sad. '05 left... they LEFT MEEEEE!!! O_O... mmph.. googie.. (cookie). anyways lol yea... i truly beleive that my school is gonna suk even more .. -_-... since '06 r the seniors now. blah.. hm wad i po m kake mree googie (hmm was i supposed to take three cookies?) lol.. oh well yum. dangit when r we gonna finish Hitch =_=... so yea.. the painting on the street in front of the school doesnt say 05 nemore.. they changed it to stupid 06! frickin.. grrrr! haha.. look ima change it to 05. ^_^ eggs/eggshells/toiletpaper all over the school. how nice. so beautiful. DAMNIT WHY'D THEY HAVE TO LEAVE MEEEEE!!! crud...
so yeah my first anniversary was this may 28 ^_^ WOOT!! Jamesy gave me Karaoke Revolution III w/mic ^_^. ouch.. cookies r bad for my heart... ahhh... ow.. dangit. erm.. yea n i gave him a hammytaro ^_^ heh.. happy anniversary! yep n this June 3rd was my 17th bday =_= woo hoo. atleast i got good presents from my hunnies. lol =D James gave me a topaz heart necklace & a sterling silver charm bracelet ^_^ THANK YOUUUU!!! (ill get u your necklace back when i go to the philippines) heh.. yea n shere gave me green dangly star earrings & a green shirt that says "chickens go BOK BOK BOK!" n the chicken says "pardon me, we what?" LoL! thanks!!! well.. ill go wallow in the cd james burned for me last year.. n sleep coz of the afteraffect of googies... TOODLES!

February 15, 2005
:D guess what yesterday was? ^_^! yes of course--- LOVE DAY! weeee! well.. i couldnt really spend time wit the honey.. just went to the library to make sherry give her gift to this one guy. Jamesy meow mew gave me a big heart-shaped box of chocolates ^_^ mmmmm... n also this one cutsie stuffed doggy i called Piko :D. well hopeully i'll get to go out with Meow friday... i really want to do something to celebrate valentine's day >_=!!! okay bye bye :D

January 15, 2005 7:44 pm
wow.. so many things happen in a longass period of time :D heh... OH for valentine's day (last year)... meow mew gave me a heart-shaped box of chocolates, 2 magnetically kissing bears, a rose (sparkly... oOoh), and a confession that he liked me:D! he's such a sweetie EEP!well on may 27 2004 (saturday) it was a very special day! me and james offically made ourselves bf and gf.. *giggle*. but moving on... '04 graduated *snifflez*... danny boy graduated... some church people graduated.. sa'll good. that summer was a WASTE of my life!!! gahh there was so many things i could've done but somehow my brain wasn't functioning... i could've played sports with james n shere.. i could've taken driver's ed... i was SUPPOSED to go to cali but didnt :(.. oh well past is past i guess. some problems... but we managed to get through it all and im thankful. sherry's "sweet" 16... kinda weird LoL. september was the start of JUNIOR year woot! not really woot -_- not that cracking man. graduated driver's ed in november.. this n that. december was jamesy's 17th birthday!! yayers! got him phantom brave.. i think he likes it alot ;D. spent alotta money on christmas.. around $80 HAHAH!! and for two people? geez (well most of that was on phantom brave). Got alotta roxy stuff for xmas.. headset for cell phone.. n so on. went shopping alot at winter break ^_^ bought reeboks n j.lo jacket n such :D. JANUARY! 2005 woot! first time i actually went out for new year's eve.. went to seattle center n watched fireworks... pretty nice. i'm glad i had someone actually calling me and saying happy new years.. JAMES hehe =D but too bad i couldn't kiss the one i REALLY loved :(... meow.. anyways that's the summary for the year HAHAHA ^_^

May 21, 2004 12:11 am
o gosh.. i cant seem to fall asleep for some reason.. iono why.. maybe cuz i slept too much earlier.. or the chocolate? nah.. i should go eat something to.. i said to kaze that i'd eat somethin but i wasn't really hungry.. now i am though.. *gurgle*. eek.. i hope i dont get him worried.. :0 .. so now im here.. messin around wit my sitey.. gosh life is so borin when u got nuin to do.. right kids? :-D .. well ah.. im gonna mess around sum more.. *sigh*.. i wish sumone was online..

February 6, 2004 - 8 more days untill Valentine's Day!!!
Heh lol.. i just called arashi "hey sexy".. um yea.. well V-day is closin in.. n im not sure if it's gonna be the same this year. no one wants to celebrate it.. cept me n sherry.. *sigh*. ugh cant beleive i spent 8 dollars on vday stuff though. i have to repay kaze for the xmas gift. hehe.. he's gonna be surprized. well i noe he doesnt read this anyways.. so shhh! arashi went online to check for someone? hm.. that's strange. yep he likes someone. LoL. i think i miss him a lil.. always out doin stuff somewhere.. never get to talk to him anymore. oh well.. that's life. wow.. sorority life. no... military life. man the future's gonna suck.. why did the teachers make us think about it?! um.. what else. dunno. kae cya.

Jan 23, 2004
WHeww!!! january third huh... wow thats a long time. well.. if u really wanna see some updated entries go to My XANGA!! n i did some cool html stuff there.. instead of my site. wow how lame-0! hehe.. lolz. wow sherry is checkin out like 6 books.. scary. n her and i just went yesterday too!! lol.. nerd. hehe j/k. man.. i need to look for X/1999.. ehh i'll do it after im done here. wowza my tummy hurts. :-/. kae bye bye now!

Jan 3, 2004
hey ya'lls! sorry that i havent been updating this.. for hella.. but i did on my buddyprofile for aim! Click This

sigh... *in love*
*wink*
can't..fall..again..
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby, All I want for Christmas
Is you...

still expecting that first kiss before i turn 16..
when will it come?

wow.. u know what i just realized? i learned ALOT from the bad stuff that happened to me in my life that i've matured more than some ppl who are still learning, and hate their life rite now.. i just pray that God helps them find their way..

lyfe is so sad..
n full of questions
i like it that way
what would life be if it wasnt?

November 26 12:57 am official turkey day

wow.. i am like.. so empty inside. i dunno what to say.. i've said most of what i feel in my buddy profile for aim. sux to be u if u dont I/M me. i need something to fill the void in my life. can God be the only answer? or is there really someone out there that can change my life...

i need to know. need to know how you truly feel. need you to tell me someting real. tell me what u think about just the two of us. tell me that it cant be just lust. tell me that ur love is deep. tell me what you dream when u sleep. tell me what goes through ur head. i need to know what u felt when u bled. ur the only one who can fill me up. to do ur funny handshake and say "wasap". i'll miss u tonight and i'll miss you tomorrow. so please releive me of my pain and sorrow. i want to tell you now that my love for you is true. but untill then i'll say it once more.. I miss you.

woaa... i just made that up right now. I'm so fuckin goood!!! hahaha...

November 17, 2003 monday

I am at the New Holly Library with sherry.. and watching kids have fun. man, i hate kids so much. well.. some kids. spoiled kids. Im hunggy.. dunno. I mizzed Tarzan last night!!!! AHHHH the horror!! I wanna wear a kimono, just for fun, especially those shoezies. um.. dunno what to write. or type. ill just sing!! hehe..
i made it through the wilderness
somehow i made it through
Didnt know how lost i was untill i found you
I was beat, incomplete
I've been had
I was sad and blue
But you made me feel
Yeah you made me feel
Shiny and new

Like a virgin
touched for the very first time
LIke a viiiirgin
when your heart beats next to mine

Man this fuckin sucks.. I feel like crap.. iono what’s wrong. I’m just so frickin sick of everyone and everything.. I just wanna be alone.. that’s why I came to the library. I have to get away from all of this negative energy.. it’s not good for me. it's true when i tell myself that i cant keep friends.. cuz i can't. i know that it seems that i do have friends but secretly i despise them and i just wanna sock them upside their head. literally. i wanna kill.. but it's too hard. there's that whole coverup you have to do and who knows... maybe there is a God? I want to beleive but everyone else won't and sometimes they try to tell me not to beleive.. how can they do that to me? how can friends do that to them. lately i've been in really deep sleep and i'm starting to think why i do.. it's because i'm more comfortable in my own imagination than facing reality.. or i'm just too stressed out during the day.. or i'm depressed. people say that they're depressed when they're not.. they're just sad. but i COULD be. iono. i dont really wanna talk about problems.. it's too stressing. i just wanna fall asleep in the library.. or in someone's arms. can someone point a gun to my head and get it over with? would someone please help me out.. i'd really like that. *sigh*.. i guess i'm gonna go now.. fall asleep or search the web or something.. we have a sub so i can go anywhere i want. but wait.. i do have "friends" outside.. iono. bye.. for now.. or forever i guess..
*random thought* but why were they so quiet on halloween? che.. fuck everyone

Oct. 15 monday 2nd per. 9:00 am
I had another dream last night.. so weird: Dreamt that i tried to streak my own hair but it came out crappy. Next dream was I went to Cali for a day and I was gonna call Vu & Sherry and say: Haha! I'm in California and you're not. Weird dreams, i know. The sickness might've helped a bit. I'm gonna go and die now. 3rd per. I can't even smell or taste anything! The orange juice i brought was supposed to be sour, but it tasted like water, like you needed to know that. I cant even taste the gummy worms. Damn. (next i wrote "BORED" for 3 whole lines, and then it gets serious). Weird, I truly Do Not like anyone right now. Why? Maybe because I know that nothing will ever happen if I do like someone, I'm too shy to tell anyone. Ugh, why would i want to anyways. So what do i focus on now? I'm not sure what to do. Plan my future? the future that'd probably never come? What about NOW? Shcool bites, I'm never gonna worry about it. But should I? And I don't want to slip into the imaginative world agian, I actually want to face reality. WHat to do. It would be nice if I just slipped into a coma and never woke up again. Hnm.. GOTHS! MONEY and a gothic wedding *throws random words at your face* erm Cough Cough hack dot come slash death shi chi *japanese symbols* Hey! You broke my chi and I want to kill you or myself, either way is fine. How did he pass 8th grade if he can't even type a gramatically correct sentence? Dunno. Bye then~~~

Oct. 14 tuesday 3rd per. 10:50 am ~ ahh! I am soo miserable right now... Vu or Sherry got me sick.. uggh but ihave things to do today, Filipino Club meeting. Library after school.. gahh! I just sniffed in body spray with my dry throat and almost choked.. this is horrible! I need water, not coke! geez.. Go ahead! Just sit there and watch me suffer! BRB.. need a tissue. Kay that felt better.. erm.. yeeeeah.. now i'm bored. I wanna try on that costume.. BYE!

So i just got done writing about a dream i had the previous night (which i won't tell!! too embarassing) and the rest goes like this:
October 13 Monday 10:30 am 2nd Per.
Those dreams just keep getting weirder and making no sense at all! Ugh.. people make me so fucking sick sometimes, I just wanna stab them in their eye. Yeah, really. Goths are so fuckin cool, I love their sense of style. I'm gonna marry one someday!! HAHA LOL just kidding. OR.. will I? I DO!! *cough* (and yes i am also sick, that wasn't just an awkward silence cough)... ugh... marriage. Hey, I wonder what's goin on with Sherry & carmen. Meh... no one tells me nothing anymore! I NEED to get on aim. Tarzan is so cool.. I can't wait 'til next week! So now i got tuesdays and Sundays to look forward to. Let's all Rebel and have riots! C'mon now, don't be shy, It'll be fun! I'll bring the guns and the goths.. muahaha *evil grin*. Hmm.. I wanna buy some rings @ Hot Topic. Silver.. yeeah! What time does the bell ring again? Aighte ericka says 45. Great. Aww man i gotta pee again! Like you needed to know and I'm getting way outta topic here but the point is GOTHS RULE! And w're gonna rebel the hell out of this shithole! *tee hee*. Life is just fun and games. Yes it is! You better beleive. Ima bounce now Cya!

(what i wrote on down on my lovely friend, the paper.)
Oct/09/03 8:51 pm thursday
I am so pissed off right now that my head's throbbing. To blow off the anger I went through a series of punching (and kicking) my invisible foe: Life. If i weren't too careful i could have strained my arms or dislocate my shoulders (or maybe even punched the closet). But it's all good, now there's just an eerie calm in my room. So, you're probably thinking, what is there to be mad about? I could never imagine SHERRYLYN to be angry and throwing an inner tantrum. Well, my friend, you don't know half of me as well as you should, and you shall soon find out. I will make a list of all that I can remember that I'm mad about, if I'm not too worked up to remember.
1)Ignorance and Tolerance of anyone 2)Brother 3)Mother 4)Grandmother (actually, everyone in my house-hold) 5)Mother's boyfriend 6)Religion/Church 7)Youth groups 8)School: Teachers 9)Friends(dont ask) 10)Homework/Schoolwork 11)Society & Relationships 12)Media 13)Politics14)Boys 15)Girls 16)Homophobia 17)heterosezuals (just kidding!) 19)Sean Paul 20)Money Issues 21)Fashion 22)$1.50 for those damn fake flowers 23)Name calling, especially the excessive use of the word "slut" 24)Rape (guy or girl) 25)Mind control: Parents, Teachers, Peers or Society 26)The fact that if you hang out witha person of the opposite sex, peers often judge you that you are going out with that person 27)Judgement, Separateness, Loneliness, Hatred, and any other words you can think of! 28)People thinknig sex is bad. Well, that's pretty much all that my brain will allow me to think of or process, and I want to end with this: I am so very close to cracking (in public) that it scares me to think society will actually do this to me. Will no one out there help me and calm me down so that I may finally rest in peace? Yes, kill me now, the weight of the world is too much to bear. Anata ga Suki Desu and Sayonara.

Oct. 8 wed.
NOOO!!!! I can't beleive i missed Fushigi Yuugi... ughhh!! this sucks.. and my friends can't even record a fuckin' episode (no i am not cussing at you guys:)). Man... that's probably like the only show i watch other than Futurama and i don't even watch that because of fuckin' basebal... ugh!! i hope you guys' brains are getting ruined!!! As for me.. because i dont watch tv anymore (yes!! that's true) and i don't go on the computer either (yeah ya heard me!) then i can only get smarter right? hah! well i'm bored so i'll go... *sniff* bye then...

Oct. 3 thursday
wow! I am so bored.. so ill just type a song that i got stuck in my head!!! and oh yeah.. it's from britney hahaha!
In love, In no belief
Never found inside of Me
Built these walls up so high
Needed my room to breathe

Oh Baby, Oh baby
You turn them down
Can't believe you've changed my mind
Oh Baby, Oh Baby
I saw your smile
Stay with me a while

All things fall in to place
My heart, it feels so safe
You are my melody
That's where you take me Oct. 1 wednesday Jugatsu Tsuitachi Sui
OMG! Last night's fushigi yugi was so.. so.. erm.. dramatic! I knew Amiboshi would save Miaka... he has a good heart (what am i talking about?! They're anime characters!) and i wasn't surprized when he said he wanted to be born one of the Suzaku seven. Then when he was about to die in the hands of the perverted Tomo, Suboshi saves him! and.. ew they kiss.. *shiver*.. oh c'mon! they're brotherse! and Amiboshi drinks the forgetfulness leaves .. ahh! now Suboshi's about to rape Miaka .. and.. and.. alright enough about that. The point is... I need to work out before i get into that bathing suit saturday! tehehe.. so out of topic. BUt they ARE my thoughts, aren't they? ANyways, yesterday while i was at teh library the librarian searched a book fro me from Anne RIce, and she read aloud the summary about it, which went something like," an erotic tale about a young woman.." hahaha! woa.. moving on.. erm bye now! Sept. 30 tuesday
Fushigi yuugi is on tonight... ughh.. i can't stand it!! i can't wait 5 hours ya know.. too frickin' long!! anyways.. i think i'll end this with:
Are you lost ma'am? cuz heaven's a long way from here.
Somebody better call god cuz he's missing an angel!
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart... Sept. 24
Yay! i know how to write all Suzaku Sheishei's names! yaaaaay... *cough* eh hem.. i am like so frickin' bored right now. i want to die. a very painful death. but no.. i guess not. i want to experience the fulness of life. puh. whatever.. everything always involves money. no.. i dont want to die. i want to KILL. and im also hungry... sooo yeah. what will happen to me after high school... hm..

Sept. 18
NOO!!! Amiboshi.. why the hell did you do t hat to Miaka.. MIAKA! she can't summon suzaku now.. it's all up to y ui to summon seiryuu.. but how can miaka convince amiboshi to join the seiryuu seven agin? maybe i revealed too many things on my online diray.. need to delete some thigns *which i did* kill.. the wicked... oh wait! thaz me! hehe.. you mortals can't kill me again, once lived you can't go back again. on some levels. maybe if you find a necromancer you can. i want to go.. away.. just not here.
I'm feelin' nervous.
tryin' to be so perfect
cuz i know you're worth it,
you're worth it, yeah.
need to find a way to break through. nah, just need to shove everything and everyone away.. why bother me? it's nun yur biz, aighte? just leave me alone.. alone.
Quote i thought up of while i was falling asleep:
Turning all faith in God wuold mean you really have given up *fushigi yuugi* all hope and meaning in life.. that's why when people have no where else to trurn to, they either suicide or turn to god. the last resort. that's probably why i doubt my faith, cuz i'm still trying to find the answers in teh meaning of life.
Funny how the human body works sometimes. isn't it weird how you're half-asleep and suddenly you just jolt awake? i saw someone do that in class today.. fundy! it's teh same scenario everytime i do taht.. it's on the stairs leading to teh field on my old elementary school.. i trip and jolt awake. always teh same. either that or i am walking and i jsut trip. jolt!!!
why.. wont.. that person.. talk to me! eh.. im gonna go email that person. ~ Until Next ~

Sept. 14
Be forewarned! This is an ACTUAL entry in my diary.. this first ever of more to come! Beware and brace yourself of what you may see here.. in thisentry my thoughts are nto clouded or censored by what other people may think (well.. maybe just a tinsy bit) – a first taste of my future book
wow.. how can i forget to write(or type) in my diary when it was the first day of school? eh.. so many things to talk about.. things that happened.. feelings that stirred up inside me again. let's start from day one, shall we?
erm.. i had this entry on for a couple of days now, the people who actually read it are fortunate to.. but i just HAD to take it out.. it was too personal ya know.. *sigh* just maybe on a ray of luck that person read it.. meh oh well! but i still do have an actual entry if you click "real diary" .. so what the hell are you waiting for?!! GO!!!

September 9, 2003 (again) - Sitting in Bedroom.. BORED
NOOO!!! Amiboshi... why would you do that to Miaka?! After how nice she's been to you in your past life.. Noo!!! And Soy? You're sucha frickin' slut! Taking people's life force by fucking with them.. Che! Both MIaka and Tamahome are betraying eachother.. so sad
Anyways! 'nuff about that.. the Point is.. I NEED TO GO ON THE INTERNET SOO BAD!! IT's killing me.. ahhhh!! Bet ur wondering how i post upmy entries then huh? School library. Ugh!! There's.. "people" I want to talk to, ya know? Oh yeah.. Just noticed that Mitsukake never talks to anyone.. weird. *Cough* I reallyneed AIM or else I AM going to die, mentally that is.
So! What's going on with Sherrylyn, you're thinking? *Zoidberg Futurama*. Wel.. school has made her REALLY REALLY super tired. *yawn* .. and Nothing much else except wondering how them other online ppl are doing... Not gonna mention names.. UGH .. I just hope I can getm y computer fixed asap! I miss ya'lls *sniff* random thought: iono why but i HATE it when ppl ignore me.. maybe it's just the youngest child thing, i dunno. But please dont! Talk to me.. say something.. u know who you are!!!

September 9, 2003
This is what i wrote in class last friday and yesterday, in sort of gothic font
Yup yup... it's the end of the first week of school.. n' I'm sort of disappointed.. man.. I thought that i'd probably be talking to my friends more but i'm not. Bummer. Ugh.. I really wanted to hang out with this one dude, but I think he's trying to avoid me or something.. iono. *i hope someone reads this!!!* Nothing's like before anymore, that bites. I GUESS I CAN GO BACK TO MY LITTLE Phazes.. BUt I learned to move on and actually open my eyes to the world. AND that's really boring. 15 more minutes 'til the Bell Rings, starting my long, boring, weekend. I really hope monday will be different. Do people read my online DIARY anymore? Can teachers get teh respect they really deserve.. I mean, they are they ones responsible for guiding us to teh future. BRB. SEPT 8 2nd period. Masturbation kills brain cells!! Hahahah... that's why guys are so dumb eh? I really wanna go on AIM... IT's.. killing.. the hell.. out of me!! ahh.. me so hungry.. and tired.. went to the youth meeting friday, and Canada saturday. AHH canada.. the land of the imitated america and open legalized prostitution. I hated it soo much!!! teh humidity sucked and smelled like wet boxes. People dressed so ghetto and TRIED to dress like punk rockers, or goths, but they ended up looking really stupid. Mohawks? They're cool, but if you do it wrong you'll look like a Loser, w/a capital L. When i got home which was at 11:00 pm. I was so glad to be back in america, anywhere in america, cuz you know why? Canada sucks!!! ahahahahaa....
September 9th again.. and i am at the library typing out my paper. i am so bored!! i want to talk.. to.. someone.. and.. um nevermind. it's useless anyways.. people just fuckin drift farther and farther apart.. ya know? hey!!! fushigi yuugi on tonight!! yay.. i finaly have somethign to look forwards to! aighte.. i gotta go and conversate with some homies.. yeah you know who im talking about. payce~~ untill next~~~

Aug 1 ahh!!!! middle of summer and still bored
wow.. it's already 12:55 am right now. i should be sleeping! but.. im glad i stayed on. just ended a chat with this person (cant really put ppl's names on here can i? eh. i already did *tee hee) about religion and stuff.. made me realize that im not just losing my faith. i already did!!! that bites. i think i should atleast try again, ya know. even if there's the voice in the back of my head telling me it's all fake.. that if i do this religion act then you'd be doing something you dont beleive in.. and i dont like doing things i dont beleive in, like guys taking control of girls. i cant let it happen, but if it's for god, i'll give it one more shot. or as many shots as i can to save myself. i have to do this. i have to. *sigh*... sucks how i didnt talk to bao for a long time ...(and i said i wouldnt put names on her?? che! n' why do i keep using "che" that's not my emotional outburst that's ** .. .hey! again with the names? now that's just making bao feel bad!!! well i wouldnt know.. cuz he wont talk to me!!!!!! grrr ahh.. i wouldnt mind if he'd atleast call me and tell me what he's up to.)

July 26
What's up with me and guys with blue hair? is it like a sign or something.. that i should go for the guy with short blue hair?!! or should i have short blue hair? i wish.. but my cousin wont let me... and that sucks. life is short.. and high school only comes once in a lifetime (unless you flunk hella bad). Legato Bluesummers...*sigh*

July 13, 2003
Owie!!! this headache's been goin on for about a week now...i wonder if it's anything serious. i KNOW it's gotta do something with stress...cuz i've been acting bitchy to everyone..even my own friends!! this sucks...no it's NOT pms... oh what a world we live in. hehe..iono why i said that... anyways!!! i updated my "Vampire" page and added a new page "Graphics". Enjoy now ya hear?! ...while i sleep for 24 hours straight trying to make the pain go away...*sigh*..*teardrop*... *internal + external*

July 4, 2003 independence day!!
i'm so frickin' bored this summer!!! i played with popits today, no fireworks! well, bottle rockets count. my heart's been hurtin lately, literally. and my left arm. am i healthy? well...u guys should check my "mood" page. really deep ya'll.

June 22 12:15 am
ooh..ouch that hurts. why do i do that to people...i make them feel bad just cuz i want to..and i hurt them. well..i got what i deserve. people hurt me back. they make me sad, depressed, mad..and i cry. it's true when i say i have a 'tortured soul'. not only in soul by also in mind and body. i cant live this life. this game we play is just too much, ill just quit. it dont matter where i go, heaven or hell i just dont want to be here.

June 18
no!!!! the day i dreaded the most is finally here....it was the funnest and saddest day so far...ahh!! don't leave me... let's rent an apartment together when we're 18!!! all for of us...or 5.. ew no!! not what you're thinking...not alex. haha..maybe if he wants. i need to heal my arm! or else id get in HUGE trouble. im a rebel..let's face it.

June 17, 2003
okay sherry...u promised yourself you wouldnt cry!!! you almost did at lunch...but it was for reasons unknown. you're making yourself depressed! someone else likes him/her....i hate that. we still homiez. just to let yall know...i love this background! i found it at this one site. so kewl...aint it?

June 16, 2003
Just got done taking the spanish test. Boy was that easy! I write alot now... Um yeah. Gosh, two days of school left! I'm gonna miss hnging out with them guys in humanities. Maybe someday I'll have class with atleast one of them. Aww..Sheryl's getting all mushy! Hehe. I hate wide ruled paper. Go..away..far from this place...anywhere but here. you're not wanted, nobody likes you, you're invisible to me. Itooshi hito no tame ni. ima nani ga dekiru kana. kana wanai yume wa nai yo. massugu ni shinjiteru. Damn freshmans. I don't know why, but i'm gonna hate them so much. maybe its cuz they're gonna ruin the way things are, and I hate that. 07, destroyers of the peace. i need some alone time. maybe like 60 hours in a cell. The Cell. nasty movie. In the mind of a killer. Scary. Get inside my mind, you'll probably freak out. la la la. I'll miss the way things are. damn 07! Grr. I'm bored right now. dear sherrylyn basa, I hate you! I hate everything youdo, everything you are. everything you've become. Why do you have so much hatred toward yourself? You are your own worst enemy. I'm a hazard to myself. Do something with your life, girl! make yourself known! but do not be that stereotypical stuck up asian. be yourself. ..(and it goes on). Sherry. Be blasphemous. haha psyche just kidding! or are you? do you really need marriage. think on it girl. do you still wonder if he knows? naw! really? go ahead and tell! I just won't talk to you ever *knock on wood*. I sholdnt say that. maybe ill just be mad at you and have a grudge against you forever! hahahaa-evil. yay! i like that. vampire priestess. you're whipped! ninja turtles! Like, totally radical dude! yay. Ima mizz yalls! did i come out of my shell yet? i wonder what a turtle looks like without it's shell. ew! so cute. i miss you guys already. You know what's gonna happen if you have a love problem at the end of the school year. you'll start to think ab out that person over the summer and start to like him/her more. trust me, i've been there. alex will like me more, and sherry chau will eventually like vu. bao will go depressed and psycho. don't be that way you guys! if only they can understand that if they act that way, each of them will hurt Me. Don't they see? it's torture here. but no one reads my writing anyway. I give HUGE hints in my writing. no one cares. and me over the summer? I will start to think that no one cares about me and that there's no point living my life. Myabe I'll try to attempt suicide. Or maybe I'll decide to not wake up one day. hey, it could happen. I'll post this on my site. my words will be hear. I will not be alone. I'll get through this, I'm sure. Or am i? I just sniffed in blood. Yum. Let's go to hell, TOGETHER. Cuz i just can't go through this life alone. I don't need family. I need my friends. The ones who care. I need you.
and to think...i wrote this all down on a piece of paper during class...heh

June 13
ahhhh.....um....meh. ahhck!!! um... i dont know! stop talking about your problems with me... i dont need to hear it. i hope it doesnt rain today while we're downtown.. that'll suck. ill go anyway... bonding you know. where are they?! im gonna have to find Sherry Chau. I hate you! End.

june 11
i feel blue again...man! i shouldnt have done what i did...i feel so...guilty. no..not guilty...just sad. i wasnt really thinking!!! if i thought hard enough..maybe things would be better and i wouldnt have done that...break things off. *** likes me.... and i know i really like ***... so why did i do it? damn xela played a major part in this!! i wish *** was reading this...ask again sometime...like during the summer or.... maybe you just want to forget huh? did i break your ***** so much that you dont wanna go back... i know i never really talk to you.. i want to though! even just as friends. first i felt...depressed...at the beginning of the semester.. and then jealous... when i saw them two ppl together... then nervous...when *** asked me... then love..(oh wow..)...then happy.. monday and tuesday.... now depressed/sad again... back to the vampire lestat stage. you hear? i didnt want to go back.. i was actually HAPPY!!! do you know what that feels like? it's great..you should try it people!! i wish you were reading this...

June 8, 2003
I'm serious...i cannot stand being in my house any longer...that's why i'm dreading summer! i wish i went to cali... why am i not going this year?!! I'm being smothered....overprotected....watched. I can't stand it!!! i'm breaking hearts....either by liking someone else...being with someone...and doing suicide. maybe i shouldnt...there ARE some people who care.

May 29, 2003
The adrenolyn rushes. Do you ppl at Franklin High School MIND??!! Im trying to release my thoughts here...i can't have ppl staring at me you know. I have school spirit! yes i do. i have school spirit! how about you??? *stares at you blankly* What...?

Oh my love please don't cry
I'll wash my bloody hands
And we'll start a new life
I don't know much at all,
I don't know wrong from right
All I know is that I love you tonight

May 21, 2003
I want to be alone. Completely alone. Fazed out. Not in this world. No, never. Um....Meow. I release my evil violence in writing.
"what am i to do to win my life?
(you will fight it off don't worry)
how am i supposed know what's right?
(you just gotta do it your way)
i can't help the way i feel
but my life is just so overprotected"
~britney

May 14, 2003
MELT........:) Wanna be a cowboy?
"i wanna be a cowboy
with the top let back
and the sunshine shining"

May 10, 2003
I've seen been through good, but seen so much bad

"finally i find when i lose control
inside my body crumbles
it's like therapy for my broken soul
inside my body crumbles"

May 7, 2003
damn, i can't beleive i let a boy interefere with friendship. that bites. *okay sherry, dont let boys take over your life again!*. and to homegurl: sorry if i mislead you into thinking i was irritated by you. didn't mean it!

"boys
sometimes a girl just needs one
boys
to love and to hold
boys
and when a girl is with one
boys
then she is in control"
~britney

Cinco de Mayo 2003
Online Diary,

So......Damn......Irritated......UGH!!!!!!Stop.......the.......pressure......can't......control.......urg.......to.......KILL!!!!!!!!!!

What's wrong sherry? What's the matter sherry? Why are you so mad sherry? Why are you acting like that sherry? Why do you look at me like that sherry? What's with the knife sherry? What are you doing sherry?! Please get away from me sherry! You're scaring me sherry! Ahhhhh!!!!! Not there! anywhere but there! ~~~Sherry

Bart - "I didn't think it was physically possible, but this sucks and blows at the same time."

May 3rd
online diary,

just incase ya'll are wondering, sometimes i dont go for a guy because of his looks. girls shouldn't do that. That's all...

"i heard you're doin okay,
but i want you to know
i'm a dic
i'm addicted to you"