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One man�s theology is another man�s belly laugh. *** Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys; it�s more sanitary. *** Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child. *** Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse. *** You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don�t ever count on having both at once. *** Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry. N.B.: Circumstances can force your hand. So think ahead! *** Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark. *** An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications. *** Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded�here and there, now and then�are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty. This is known as "bad luck." *** In a mature society, "civil servant" is semantically equal to "civil master." *** When a place gets crowded enough to require ID�s, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere. *** A woman is not property, and husbands who think otherwise are living in a dreamworld. *** The second best thing about space travel is that the distances involved make war very difficult, usually impractical, and almost always unnecessary. This is probably a loss for most people, since war is our race�s most popular diversion, one which gives purpose and color to dull and stupid lives. But it is a great boon to the intelligent man who fights only when he must�never for sport. *** A zygote is a gamete�s way of producing more gametes. This may be the purpose of the universe. *** There are hidden contradictions in the minds of people who "love Nature" while deploring the "artificialities" with which "Man has spoiled �Nature.�" The obvious contradiction lies in their choice of words, which imply that Man and his artifacts are not part of "Nature"�but beavers and their dams are. But the contradictions go deeper than this prima-facie absurdity. In declaring his love for a beaver dam (erected by beavers for beavers� purposes) and his hatred for dams erected by men (for the purposes of men) the "Naturist" reveals his hatred for his own race�i.e., his own self-hatred. In the case of "Naturists" such self-hatred is understandable; they are such a sorry lot. But hatred is too strong an emotion to feel toward them; pity and contempt are the most they rate. As for me, willy-nilly I am a man, not a beaver, and H. sapiens is the only race I have or can have. Fortunately for me, I like being part of a race made up of men and women�it strikes me as a fine arrangement and perfectly "natural." Believe it or not, there were "Naturists" who opposed the first flight to old Earth�s Moon as being "unnatural" and a "despoiling of Nature." *** "No man is an island�" Much as we may feel and act as individuals, our race is a single organism, always growing and branching�which must be pruned regularly to be healthy. This necessity need not be argued; anyone with eyes can see that any organism which grows without limit always dies in its own poisons. The only rational question is whether pruning is best done before or after birth. But this may be a matter of taste. Some shamans think that it is better to be killed in a war, or to die in childbirth, or to starve in misery, than never to have lived at all. They may be right. But I don�t have to like it�and I don�t. *** Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are wiser than one man. How�s that again? I missed something. *** Autocracy is based on the assumption that a million men are wiser than a million men. Let�s play that over again, too. Who decides? *** Any government will work if authority and responsibility are equal and coordinate. This does not insure "good" government; it simply insures that it will work. But such governments are rare�most people want to run things but want no part of the blame. This used to be called the "backseat-driver syndrome." *** What are the facts? Again and again and again�what are the facts? Shun wishful thinking, ignore divine revelation, forget what "the stars foretell," avoid opinion, care not what the neighbors think, never mind the unguessable "verdict of history"�what are the facts, and to how many decimal places? You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your single clue. Get the facts! *** Stupidity cannot be cured with money, or through education, or by legislation. Stupidity is not a sin, the victim can�t help being stupid. But stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death, there is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity. *** God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent�it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash and in small bills. *** Courage is the complement of fear. A man who is fearless cannot be courageous. (He is also a fool.) *** The two highest achievements of the human mind are the twin concepts of "loyalty" and "duty." Whenever these twin concepts fall into disrepute�get out of there fast! You may possibly save yourself, but it is too late to save that society. It is doomed. *** People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals. It is the poor jerk who is shy a half slug who must tighten his belt. *** The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And vice versa. *** Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house. *** Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untraveled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as "empty," "meaningless," or "dishonest," and scorn to use them. No matter how "pure" their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best. *** A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. *** The second most preposterous notion is that copulation is inherently sinful. *** Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of�but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards. *** $100 placed at 7 percent interest compounded quarterly for 200 years will increase to more than $100,000,000�by which time it will be worth nothing. *** Dear, don�t bore him with trivia or burden him with your past mistakes. The happiest way to deal with a man is never to tell him anything he does not need to know. *** Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. *** Everybody lies about sex. ***
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