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Excerpts from the Notebooks of Lazurus Long From Time Enough for Love by Robert A. Heinlein ************ Always store beer in a dark place. *** By the data to date, there is only one animal in the Galaxy dangerous to man�man himself. So he must supply his own indispensable competition. He has no enemy to help him. *** Men are more sentimental than women. It blurs their thinking. *** Certainly the game is rigged. Don�t let that stop you; if you don�t bet, you can�t win. *** Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent. *** Always listen to experts. They�ll tell you what can�t be done, and why. Then do it. *** Get a shot off fast. This upsets him long enough to let you make your second shot perfect. *** There is no conclusive evidence of life after death. But there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will know. So why fret about it? *** If it can�t be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion. *** It has long been known that one horse can run faster than another�but which one? Differences are crucial. *** A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved. *** Delusions are often functional. A mother�s opinions about her children�s beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth. *** Most "scientists" are bottle washers and button sorters. *** A "pacifist male" is a contradiction in terms. Most self-described "pacifists are not pacific; they simply assume false colors. When the wind changes, they hoist the Jolly Roger. *** Nursing does not diminish the beauty of a woman�s breasts; it enhances their charm by making them look lived in and happy. *** A generation which ignores history has no past�and no future. *** A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits. *** What a wonderful world it is that has girls in it! *** Small change can often be found under seat cushions. *** History does not record anywhere at any time a religion that has any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help. But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it. *** It�s amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired. *** If you don�t like yourself, you can�t like other people. *** Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind; it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate�and quickly. *** A motion to adjourn is always in order. *** No state has an inherent right to survive through conscript troops and, in the long run, no state ever has. Roman matrons used to say to their sons: "Come back with your shield, or on it." Later on, this custom declined. So did Rome. *** Of all the strange "crimes� that human beings have legislated out of nothing, "blasphemy" is the most amazing�with "obscenity" and "indecent exposure" fighting it out for second and third place. *** Cheop�s Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget. *** It is better to copulate than never. *** All societies are based on rules to protect pregnant women and young children. All else is surplusage, excrescence, adornment, luxury, or folly which can�and must�be dumped in emergency to preserve this prime function. As racial survival is the only universal morality, no other basic is possible. Attempts to formulate a "perfect society" on any foundation other than "Women and children first!" is not only witless, it is automatically genocidal. Nevertheless, starry-eyed idealists (all of them male) have tried endlessly�and no doubt will keep on trying. *** All men are created unequal. *** Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well. *** A brute kills for pleasure. A fool kills from hate. *** There is only one way to console a widow. But remember the risk. *** When the need arises�and it does�you must be able to shoot your own dog. Don�t farm it out�that doesn�t make it nicer, it makes worse. *** Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. *** It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier. ***
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