SEDDONISM 1

For each of my Seddonism '99 shows I prepared an outline, including several scripted links and short features. These followed the same order every day, in a hope I could build up catch-phrases and stuff.

Introduction
...hey! That�s my orange!
Nah! Give it to me!
Leave it alone!
I�ll just remove the orange skin.
Oi! You�re just taking the pith.
<<Jingle>>
You�re listening to Seddonism on URE, with me, Mark Seddon. Today we�ll be interviewing Colonel Sanders without mentioning chicken once
And we�ll be asking �what if the lady loved Milk Tray, but it conflicted with the diet plan that she was following?�
It�s my producer Alec Horley! Alec made millions by inventing blu tac, with the original intention of supporting the leaning tower of pizza.
No, Mark.
I�m sorry, the things I say are always playing up on me.
What else have we got on the show today, Mark?
Well, there�s; Won�t Cook Won�t Cook, Zoowatch, Pop Facts, The Simpsons Singalong, The Beatles Bit, The Mark Appeal, and Today�s charity case.
If You�ve got any dedications you could phone up for the Love Cafe on 263 568.
Indeed you could.
But what about if something is really bothering you
I guess you could phone in to be featured on Kirsty�s Hate Cafe.
Would that be on 263 568 too?
Well, yes. We�ve only got one phone, after all. We will also be taking your funny stories of things that have gone wrong for you, in when life goes bad, find out today�s subject next.
The featured story will win a pizza.
Welcome to Seddonism- hope you survive the experience!
Remember- blu tack can hold things up, as well as sticking them down!


Mark�s Birthdays (to Bewitched theme)
Baby Spice, real name Emily Bumpton, ex frontman of the Spice Girls is 9 today. Baby Spice likes pink.

Tauten Kahmun, the primeminister of Egypt�s mother is 35 today. She is an expert at first aid, and actually invented the first ever Ambulance.

Electricity is 50 years old today! It was discovered accidentally by Hollywood actor Boris Karloff who was out on a mining expedition.

And finally in this day in history Mozart played his first ever concert. He played in Manchester�s cavern club, and was on a double bill with the rolling stones!


The Mark Appeal
The Mark Appeal. Mark is a young man of just 20 years of age but is completely unable to see. We desperately need to raise �300. Just imagine what it would be like, sitting in your room late at night, staring into nothing. Send cheques to �Mark�s TV Fund�, or meet me at the cinema on Wednesday. How much would you pay for a fully functioning body that works properly?


Talky bit
(Audience Poll, Love cafe number, continuation of motif, wonderyears bit)
... just time for an audience poll update on Ice Cream Sundaes or the Sunday Times, Alec?
Well, Mark, currently the delicious cold snack is lagging behind the popular paper with just 33%, whilst Paisley Wallpaper storms ahead with 62%.
Um, Alec, I can�t help but notice that the percentage adds up to 95%, 5% less than the traditional 100%- can you explain it?
Spoilt ballots.
Fair enough. Well, keep your phone calls coming in on 263 568 with your dedications for the Love Cafe, which is coming up soon. On URE now though, the time is 11:03 (or whatever)
--->Wonderyears
I didn�t realise it then, but my practice in time checks gave me practice enough, so that, when BT came to re record the speaking clock voice, I became their first choice. And the bond through looking at watches made me feel closer to my father than I had ever felt before. For some reason.

So there you go.

What was Seddonism FM'99?
Seddonism script 10
Contents