Chapter 4

It wasn’t every day that a student sat at the staff table during breakfast. It was even less common for said student to be brought to the staff table by the greasiest, nastiest, most disliked professor in the school. Therefore, one could imagine the shock on many faces as Snape led Harry into the Great Hall and up to the staff table for breakfast that morning. This was the stuff rumors were made of, and the fact that Harry hadn’t returned to his dormitory the previous night after being escorted out by Snape, McGonagall, and Dumbledore, didn’t help things at all.

"I heard they’re making him the new DADA teacher, now that Professor Lupin…" Hannah Abbot from Hufflepuff had come over and was whispering to Lavender Brown. Hermione rolled her eyes and turned to Ron.

"Can you believe all this? So far I’ve heard that he’s been made a professor, that he’s graduating early, that he’s diseased, that he’s being sent to Azkaban for murder, because THAT’S likely, and the Slytherins are saying that he’s tried to kill himself! This is absolutely absurd!" she fumed.

"Yeah…" Ron said half-heartedly, exchanging a look with Dean. They’d discussed this very topic the night before with Seamus and Neville, and had come to the same conclusion as the Slytherins, especially after having heard what Snape and Harry had been screaming at each other. Ron, however, not wanting to worry his girlfriend any more than necessary, hadn’t told her.

"I mean, honestly! He probably just walked out of Snape’s detention because Snape wouldn’t leave him alone or something!" Hermione continued.

"Then why’s he at the staff table this morning? And why didn’t he come back to the dorms last night?" Parvati Patil, who’d been sitting across from Hermione, countered.

Hermione, not having an answer to that, simply scowled and started eating in silence. Ron looked at her and sighed. He’d talk to her later, in private.

Harry sat quietly in his seat, staring blankly at the plate of food before him. As hungry as he had been, his appetite had vanished as soon as he’d entered the Great Hall. He’d seen the stares and heard the whispering as he passed, and even now eyes were still on glancing at him frequently. This sucked. And worst of all, he didn’t even have Ron or Hermione there to talk to him.

Suddenly, Harry felt a sharp jab to his side. Looking up, he saw that Snape was glaring at him.

"Eat," was all the man said before returning his attention to his own breakfast.

Sighing, Harry picked up his fork and stabbed at his scrambled eggs.

Immediately after breakfast, Snape led Harry up to Dumbledore’s office. Dumbledore and McGonagall were already waiting for them. Looking around the room, Harry sighed inwardly, relieved to see that Sirius wasn’t there.

"Harry, please take a seat," Dumbledore said, gesturing to a soft chair by the fireplace. Harry obediently took his seat. Dumbledore took the seat across from Harry, with McGonagall sitting next to him. Snape opted to stand behind Harry’s chair.

Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"Harry, it seems your godfather has gone deep undercover in an attempt to track down the remaining Death Eaters. For this reason, we felt that perhaps owling him right now may be counter-productive. However, you should know that once he returns, we will tell him aout everything that happened last night." Harry nodded sullenly. "Now, Harry, more importantly, would you mind please explaining why you attempted suicide last night?"

Harry swallowed hard. The reality of the situation hit him like a ton of bricks when Dumbledore had referred to what he had tried last night as "suicide". It was strange thinking of it in terms like that. Suicide was supposed to be painful and unnatural, not at all what Harry had in mind. He had just been looking for a relief from all the pain. He just wanted peace.

"Sir, what I did last night…it wasn’t…it wasn’t ‘suicide’…" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "…at least…that’s not what I thought of it as…"

"Then what would you call it, Potter?" Snape said from behind him. Harry sighed.

"I just wanted…peace. Relief from all the pain…and guilt. And, well, I wanted to…protect everyone…" Harry started to break down. "When…whenever I…I let anyone near me, I put them in danger. It’s not…it’d be better if…" He choked on his sobs and couldn’t finish. The three teachers exchanged glances before McGonagall spoke.

"Harry, if you felt this way, then why didn’t you come talk to Dumbledore or myself sooner? Why choose this route?"

Harry forced himself to calm down enough to speak. "Because…I hadn’t really thought about it. I just…I needed out, and it was the only thing I could think of…" He began crying too hard to speak again. The teachers once more exchanged worried glances. Dumbledore furrowed his brow, deep in thought. He certainly didn’t want to lose one of his best students, but he also couldn’t allow things to remain the way they were. He silently cursed himself for not noticing Harry’s condition sooner. Suddenly, a thought struck him.

"Harry?" Harry sniffled. "You realize that things can no longer stay the way they are, don’t you?" Harry nodded. Lovely, they were going to expel him…or send him to St. Mungo’s…or… "Perhaps it would be for the best to gie you a guardian, of sorts, at least while you’re still here." Harry blinked. They weren’t going to make him leave? "Therefore, I wonder if our good Professor Snape wouldn’t mind taking you in, at least for now?" Harry’s heart skipped a couple of beats. What?

McGonagall turned to Dumbledore, obviously trying to supress her horror at the thought. "Albus, do you really think it’s a good idea to…separate Harry from his House like that?" She was obviously struggling to find a way to object without saying that it was Snape she disapproved of.

Snape didn’t seem overly thrilled with the idea, either. "Sir, I’m sure that…" Dumbledore waved his hand and the two halted their protests. "Now, now…Harry can’t be left alone anymore, but he needs somewhere to stay. Obviously, staying with his Housemates isn’t doing him any good." Harry cringed. "However, he can’t very well stay with a female staff member, nor can he remain in the infirmary until he graduates. Therefore, he needs someone strong, who can keep up with his youthful pace, to look out for him. Severus, as I’m sure you both agree, is the most qualified."

"But sir, surely there will be accusations of favoritism…" Severus began.

"Now, I seriously doubt that, Severus," Dumbledore said, amusement in his voice as he winked at Harry. Snape twitched.

"But what about Hagrid? Surely, he…" McGonagall began, but was cut off as Dumbledore waved his hand once more.

"While I’m sure Hagrid would be more than willing to watch over Harry, I’m afraid that he simply doesn’t have the space to accommodate another person." Dumbledore turned his attention to Harry. "Well, Harry? Does this sound satisfactory to you?"

Harry blushed. He hated being put on the spot like this, especially since it was clear that Snape didn’t want him around. Therefore, he decided to settle on a simple, non-committal answer. "Whatever you feel is best, Professor," he replied. Snape snorted.

"Very well, Harry. In that case, I will have Dobby fetch your things from your dormitory and have them brought down to Professor Snape’s rooms in the dungeons. I’m sure the professor will be more than happy to escort you down there now," Dumbledore said. Harry rose and followed Snape to the door, but stopped as Dumbledore spoke once more. "Harry, I hope you understand that we are not doing this to punish you. We only want to make absolutely certain that you are safe." Harry nodded, then followed Snape out of the headmaster’s office. How was he supposed to explain this to Ron and Hermione?