TIPS FOR
BEHAVIORAL IMPROVEMENT
BY : Shridhar D. Mehendale ( May,
2005 )
Most
common tips for behavioral improvement could be read in any standard text. Here
it relates to my personal observations and experiences. Importance is given to
THOUGHT PROCESSING. We spend the day as it comes, mechanically, following
general traditions and personal favorites and cults. Majority of people don’t
give a thought to their actions beforehand. They even don’t analyze it afterwards. If they start
analyzing successes and failures, successes could be repeated superlatively and
failures could be turned to successes.
Apart
from thought processing, one should cultivate the habits of creative thinking,
openness of mind and adaptability to new ideas. One should at least inspect the
idea, leave aside its practice! This quality must be inculcated in youth as age
develops stubbornness.
Actions
are directed by one’s innate mental qualities, and training. Directing
knowledge is also acquired by will to
improve, introspection, self audit and
creativity. There is a tendency to stick to old and reject new. Any
teachings and advice fall on deaf ears. It is human tendency to reject good
advice if not forced to do so. One does not open mouth unless nose is clipped.
Hence at times it is advised to create dramatic situations to clip the nose to
give a lesson.
All
tips are for all ages. A special section at the end is devoted to old age
problems. Since I am on doorstep of this group and have enough exposure to
seniors, the special section is included.
Many
topics will find good supplementary reading in my other essays and poems. These
are covered in my website: http://geocities.com/sdmdom (Home
page ) which has inlaid pages :
Marathi
poems : http://geocities.com/sdmdom/a.htm and http://geocities.com/sdmdom/b.htm .
Marathi
essays : http://geocities.com/sdmdom/c.htm
English
essays : http://geocities.com/sdmdom/d.htm , http://geocities.com/sdmdom/e.htm ,
http://geocities.com/sdmdom/f.htm , http://geocities.com/sdmdom/g.htm .
This
essay covers following subtitles :
OLD
PERSON’S SECTION
You
are what others see, hear and feel about you. Other attributes roll out as you move, speak and smell. All
these are important to project yourself.
Always
clean well, manicure, shave, brush hair dress to appear tidy, attractive,
acceptable and approachable. Bathing reduces body odor, improves blood
circulation of skin. Brushing teeth and mouth cleaning avoids bad breath.
Proper hair cut , beard upkeep builds image and ensures improved responses.
Good teeth and dentist’s care will allow you to eat well and speak well. Get
dentures if necessary. Good teeth will give proper pronunciation. Bald persons
may wear a suitable wig or cap. Consult an artist regarding suitability. This will help put up a ‘brand’. Avoid
smoking. It gives smell and distances people. Wear proper spectacles/contact
lenses avoiding many unpleasant events. Select a proper frame for spectacles,
giving a pleasant uplift to your face. Consult an artist. Wear suitable clothes
for the season / occasion. Clothes give an elegant look . Ninety percent of
body is covered by clothes. Hence give that much importance to clothes to
enhance appearance.
Be
careful of body movements. Avoid objectionable and unpleasant acts like
scratching buttocks, nose, ears, teeth in public. That sends wrong signals.
Keep your face relaxed, avoid frowning. Ask others to comment on your walking
style, hand movements, sitting postures. Observe your own video clip. Listen to
your speech by audio recording, have your own and others’ comments. Look at
speech style, volume, waxing / waning, clarity, stuttering, etc. your mind,
attitude reflects in speech. Stuttering can be improved ;consult speech
therapist. To slow down pace, read a text letter by letter( not word by word).
If you are bad at hearing, consult a doctor and get a hearing aid. This will
reduce awkwardness and add to your effectiveness. Plan to take a course in
voice culture, see a speech therapist, join a public speaking class.
Avoid
the habit of leaving an idea / theme /sentence half way and starting a new one
abruptly. This is irritating. If time is less, tell only fewer relevant
stories. Avoid delivering many things in a cramped manner. Be careful while
making a phone call. Other person must understand your exact message. You might
have something in your mind, which the listener might not be aware of, leading
to communication gap. Hence make statements self explanatory. Be ready to
answer doubts of listener. Have courtesy not to cut short listener. It is better to be prepared for a talk or
important phone call. Give hints of listening while others speak. Do not sound
dumb; that is discourtesy.
If
presentations are with visuals, write very legibly, in a schematic way to make
subject easy to absorb. Otherwise you may not be able to sell your idea and
curse your bad luck unnecessarily. Use appropriate tone for each delivery.
Don’t use stern or businesslike tone always. Be aware of various tones: stern,
firm, happy, irritated, confident, persuasive, worried, commanding, submissive,
etc. Learn to differentiate and use appropriate tone. Have a strategy for each
talk, have some notes and anticipations. Consider level of audience and
accordingly modify level of presentation. Consider what audience wants and what
you could give. Be receptive to feed back. Make improvements in next
presentation. The ‘mantra’ is respect the audience for effectiveness.
A
farmer working on the farm automatically gets exercised. People in cities with
sedentary jobs with no exposure to both gentleness and fierceness of nature,
have to exercise daily to keep fit. Everything needs training and running like
your car and its battery. A fantastic soft ware is useless if hardware is
faulty. Our body is over designed. When
it works at full power in youth, we don’t notice the slowly creeping
deteriorations until squeaking starts. We ascribe it to old age. However till 70%
of any function is not deteriorated, it still keeps working and when one falls
seriously ill due to systemic diseases, it is too late already. Hence don’t
take your body for granted to perform perennially without due maintenance. Exercise
is necessary right from childhood. Age is no bar. Body responds to exercise at
any age. Exercise cannot be replaced by medicine. No body can do exercise on
your behalf. Get up early in morning, exercise, and start the day. Yoga, Pranayama and meditation must
be practiced by whole family. Take expert advice, lessons. Join a camp,
workshop for training. Pranayama is a very powerful tool to control body and
mind. It controls stress and emotions.
Ambidextrous
exercise will help activate mind and creativity. Adventure sports will give an
extra dimension to your confidence and
personality. Aerobics and pulse speeding exercises will keep heart in shape.
Muscle building exercise will build bones, stimulate calcium assimilation and
avoid/ cure osteoporosis. Body is a machine. Use it or lose it. Exercise and
sports activity generates beta
Endorphins ( feel good chemical) giving joy! Dance is good exercise to develop
balance, gait and gracefulness.
Statutory
compulsions force financial audit . Insurance, health problems force medical
reviews. No statute forces behavioral Audit. Hence every body believes that his
thoughts and actions are the best! This is a fallacy many times. Hence, such
reviews must be done voluntarily and
periodically by oneself or with help of a counselor. Will to improve after the
reviews is necessary. You can achieve
improved interpersonal relations, reduced stress and enhanced image. This will
lead to success in all fields including health and wealth.
All
traditions and personal habits must be reviewed. Interpersonal relations
needing change in attitude will get a boost.
Advancement
of theoretical / applied knowledge generates simpler and efficient methods.
Latest cost and time saving gadgets , medical treatments, procedures, financial
management and wealth restructuring methods must be recognized and used.
Otherwise one messes the bus. Reviews in religious and social spheres will
remove many bottlenecks.
One
may not do all this oneself. Counseling becomes necessary. Teachers,
well-wishers, Gurus, psychologists, can serve as counselors. Please don’t shut
doors on review and consequent up gradations. Keep open to changes, have
adaptability.
Make
a note of your strengths and weaknesses , find your own solutions, write them
down. Priorities actions. Do first things first and second things second. Daily
stay calm for few minutes, give auto suggestions for improvements. This does
help a lot. You may take up self improvement courses. ‘Art of living’ course by
gurukul of Sri Ravishankar is easily available at most places. Go to website of
“Art of living foundation” to get an insight. “Vipashyana”, a workshop at
Deolali is also useful.
Usually
one is instinctively guided to conclusions by his training / traditions. Rarely
one resorts to Thought Processing ( T P ) before any action. Thus one loses lot
of better possibilities. Hence the necessity of behavioral audit. You must
analyze all successes and failures. Underlying reasons will enable repetitions
of success and minimizing failures. Thus review and audit will increase success
rates.
Newer
ideas, methods and gadgets must be inspected and utilized. Many middle aged
executives shun computers and ERP systems. We must keep abreast of new
developments, inspect them objectively and use. Habit of ‘openness’ is a great
asset, especially in old age. Old people find it difficult to develop this
habit. Hence openness must be inculcated in young age only. If you do not
adapt, you close doors for development and ensuing benefits. Complacency and
backwardness are harmful for yourself and your family. Be open to all facets:
social, medical, religious, food, fitness,. Social / religious values, marriage
institutions are man made. Hence all these need to undergo reviews and changes
with time.
5 . MODELLING SITUATIONS
Various
situations may arise in life: social, family relations, economic, educational,
religious, threats, boons, accidents, natural calamities, loss of job, loss of
persons, burglaries, extortions, missing lottery, etc.
In
spare time, instead of switching on screen saver and dosing off, devote the
time to find solutions for many such events. Take into consideration your
resources, constraints, opportunities, while designing solutions. Don’t just
think in air. Write down plans schematically. Create several solutions for one
situation. Then short list and plan in details, only for a few solutions.
To
list a few specific situations : House purchase / construction, foreign travel,
major sales and purchases, effects of political and economic changes on equity
markets, health problems, personal relations, etc. Do both long and short term
planning. Consider legal possibilities, provisions for future expansion of
family, etc..
This
will culture the habit of TP. In any of such situations you will be in absolute
control. This exercise , when done
repeatedly, will sharpen your mind to take decisions. Eventually people will
say that you develop solutions like magic! You know that it is due to training
in TP.
Branding
something good / bad , finding quick solutions for rather complicated problems
is mainstay of some people. Some of these persons appear quite matured
otherwise. Such quick decisions are usually subjective. People do not have
enough knowledge, exposure to the subject and they do not care to analyze,
study, consult, do TP(Thought Processing). They do not have any idea of
pursuant losses, benefits, repercussions. They do not accept having lack of
knowledge. These adamants are otherwise quite suave and soft spoken. The basic
reason to jump to conclusions is lethargy, apathy, and lack of objective
outlook. Do not get advice from such short cut persons.
7. SHANPANA ( I KNOW ALL), AVISHWAS ( LACK OF
CONFIDENCE), TONDATLE KUTRE
(BARKING DOG TIED TO ONE’S MOUTH)
People
with above qualities are disliked by all. All these qualities get little
amplified in old age. Then already small sphere of social dialogue shrinks
further. This brands the persons as ‘unwanted’. Hence old people should take
care to repair this nature and avoid getting ‘outcast’.
‘I
know all’ is the basic factor among the three traits. Lack of confidence and
barking attitude are only manifestations of the “pseudo- know all”. When a
person studies deeper, he realizes the ignorance. Hence, a learned person does
not say he is “know all”.
Lack
of confidence in others is due to lack
of self confidence. One always blame others. No body doubts if things go
smooth. Negative is always visible and questioned. Positive is never or rarely
doubted and assessed. To improve confidence in self and others , undertake Tapasya, Sadhana, Satsanga and Seva. ( Join Art of Living class
).
Barking:
If anybody comes with any suggestion, people tend to empty out a bucket of cold
water on him. They don’t listen and show discourtesy. They must be trained to
at least inspect new ideas, leave aside practicing them. This is best
cultivated in youth. Older people can slowly learn adaptability if they learn
new languages, musical instruments and games. They should see movies with grand
child, participate in children’s activities to make their minds adaptive.
8.MAG KARTO ( WILL DO IT LATER ):
This
leads to mess. There are three stages to do a thing. Viz.: Thought Processing
(TP), getting resources, executing. Most people do not even touch any of the
stages and simply put it off. If no body is demanding, things cant improve.
Putting things off leads to cluttering on table, and in mind too! This must be
remedied at student level. It affects studies as well. Finishing a task in time
gets an edge over others. Loathers and idlers put off tasks. Time management is
not the problem, if one has a will. Such people need to be taken out of their
comfort zones and be looked after by task masters.
Any
good deeds, creative efforts, social uplift crusades must be idolized to serve
as role models. Hence these must be brought under focus / limelight , be
framed. People appreciate anything in a frame. Without frame, things look
ordinary. Thus publicity of good deeds is a must.
It
is difficult to make people improve their performance. People may follow
statutory compulsions. They don’t follow advice for good eating and exercising
habits. They do it only if medical emergency arises.
Hence
it is good idea to force them dramatically in a corner and make them do the
right thing. Make them face ‘dramatized emergency.’ Press nose to make mouth
open.
Age
determines occupation, which in turn determines exposure to family and exposure
to risk taking. Working people are busy, doing many jobs simultaneously. Hence
they do not mind taking risk. (Their cumulative exposure to risk is less and
lesser bad experiences helps take risk). They are occupied very much in bread
winning exercise, and naturally have less exposure to family. They have money
and power which masks their shortcomings.
Old
persons are more at home, not earning actively, and are careful as they have
faced many risks in life. They are averse to face risks. These distinct
differences in young and old give rise to quite different lines of attitudes.
Old are more dependant on young and do not want them to take risks. This rift,
if widened, creates generation gap, difficult to bridge.
Way
out for old is to take objective view always. They should always have something
up their sleeve, for all ages, to keep them in demand. This ‘something’ can be
money, special skills, skills to tackle family problems.
This
is manifestation of survival instinct, which in turn is the most prominent
behavioral director, surmounting traditions, innate mental alertness, thought
processing and training. Animals do not store food. Their den is their castle.
Hence they don’t allow its encroachment, especially while eating. Once basic
needs are satiated, animals don’t disturb others on their own. This behavior is
common in kids and very old persons. The
kids are animals only. Old people behave this way out of insecurity and total
dependence.
12 . SEED, WATER, FERTILSE AND HARVEST IN
TIME
A
plant needs to be seeded, fertilized, watered in time. Adult tree can survive
ups and downs in water, sun and wind. While young, it needs protection from
excessive heat, animals. Similarly children need to be nurtured and protected. Then
only they flourish, and excel as an adult. Lack of love, care, food, facilities
and support may drive children into survival mode and stop flourishing.
Grownup
plants produce fruit, flowers, grains which must be harvested regularly. The
produce must be utilized to nurture younger plants as well. Same is true for
humans. Wealth need not concentrate at one point. Wealth should be used / recycled for next generation to grow.
Older
persons should remember that some
legacies must be given away earlier during growth period and not be necessarily
disbursed after one’s expiry. This would flourish others and wealth would
actually start snowballing!
13
. STARTER, DRIVER:
Projects
need a starter. Few people take lead, responsibility and convince others.
Starter has to seed the idea, water, fertilise, nurture the project. When
people see the project flourishing, they join in masses. Now you need a driver
to safely continue the project. Followers are many. They will fuel it and
continue its running. Hence experienced persons or innovative and active
novices can prove to be effective starters and drivers.
14
. LEFT / RIGHT / APPROPRIATE :
Many
times you are required to exercise a polarized choice. Viz. Black / white, sweet
/ pungent, left / right, veg / nonveg, and so on. A decision needs to be taken
objectively. Decide your requirements and express your “Appropriate” choice,
not necessarily a polarized one. The choice will also depend upon many other
factors like your personal constraints, money, traditions, etc.. Do not be
subjective. Objective outlook may settle on ‘sweet and sour’ rather than ‘sweet
or sour’. The concept can be extended to polarized cults, religious beliefs.
Accept the best and suitable from all and have a delicious cocktail.
15
. READING SCRIPTURES;
Most
people read books and do not get involved in the reading. As soon as book is
closed, they stop thinking about it. Thus reading is an isolated exercise for
them. Many religious books are read with a feeling that the act by itself will
uplift them and ward off evils.
This
passive reading is to be avoided. With reading, one should start evaluating
ones actions, concepts, training and
knowledge. Write down the reactions,
consult a knowledgeable person to compare notes and clarify doubts. Thus start
digesting with reading. Reject the junk and absorb the necessary and useful. If
you are satisfied, practice some good things you have learnt. Do not accept
anything, you are not convinced about. Only test and accept. Everything may not
be acceptable as per current social needs. How many do this?
OLD PERSON’S SECTION
Following
section is devoted to old age problems and lists typical advice to set them right.
Topics
discussed are my personal observations . Your esteemed suggestions are welcome.
Contact me at [email protected] .
The
deliberations cover following sub titles.
5.1 ; APPEARANCE
5.2 DIET
5.3 HEALTH CHECKS
5.4 EXERCISE
1 . FOCUS GROWING SMALLER
Usually retired persons have lesser activity, lesser
public contact, lesser dialogue. These faculties grow diminishing further. If
there are very few or no family members, focusing gets drastically reduced.
Only window on the world is telephone, television, books and news paper. With
eyesight and hearing getting impaired, window gets smaller. World of such persons shrinks and dialogues
are scarce. They are on a very small platform in life. Slowly they feel, the
small platform is their world and hence they appear to looking at it through a
microscope. Thus trivial and insignificant things become important to them. This
gets reflected in their behavior and
they look irritated and fussy, to a normal person outside the small
platform.
This
sort of isolation has pronounced effect on lessening the dialogue which leads
to lesser feed back and reactions. The recluse ness reduces their commitment to the world. All this
entails into very minimum use of brain for TP. Brain is an electronic miracle.
Lesser use reduces brain alertness. This sets in dementia of old age. ( Food
deficiencies and other degenerative processes also cause dementia) Since ‘no
dialogue ‘ causes dementia, improved
dialogue is cure or prevention of it.
Hence
elders should keep meeting more people and enhance dialogue with persons of all
ages and from all walks of life. They should learn new skills, have some
hobbies to keep engaged. Visiting a club, working with NGO’s, will help.
Continuing work in your professional field will be nice.
Never
say you are old. Join painting, singing, musical instruments – playing class.
Go on visiting places . Knock on closed doors, talk to people on your own.
Don’t wait for them to approach you. Try to color your life with newer shades, and tastes. Experiment in
gardening, cooking, fashion designing, performing arts. There is no limit! You
have nothing to lose in trying new things. With your experience and maturity,
you may excel at it! Leaving aside excellence and success, you gain continued
contacts and dialogue. That is what you wish to gain.
2 . TECHNIQUES TO AVOID DEMENTIA
If
you do not recollect a name, don’t give up. Stretch your memory. This exercises
brain. Try to memorize songs, rhymes ,
stotras, mantras. Design your own way to memorise a poem. Initially you may memorise stanzas and then
poem as a whole. Then recite daily. Solve quizzes, crosswords. Make a list of
things you plan. Do all things without looking at the list. In the evening
check the list to ensure you have not missed any. Always make a monthly and
yearly planner , not to miss any time bound events. Make a list of birth days and anniversaries of
contacts for reminding to call on them. Always carry a bag to keep documents,
papers, while going out. Do not keep any thing else in the bag. This will avoid
losing papers.
3 . AMPLIFIED
NEGATIVE EXPRESSIONS
Many
say that old people get irritated. This is not true. Original attitude remains
the same in old age. Only due to short focusing the negatives appear more
pronounced.
Always
heed constructive suggestions for management of health and wealth and dialogue.
Best feed back for your behavior is your video shooting done inadvertently.
Take advantage of latest medical and scientific developments. Consult a
counselor in case of doubt. Have some trusted friends as counselors (
preferably younger than you.)
Old
ones tend to sound their grievances and distrust very loudly. Some times they
get branded as constant complainers / bitter tongued / irritants. Then people
start avoiding you as at times you don’t show minimum courtesy. This situation
needs counseling, practice of pranayam and meditation.
If
your eye sight is weak and manipulative skills are on wain, stop repairing
critical instruments running on gas and power. Also stop driving a vehicle.
Thus you wont risk yourself and others.
4
. TALKING TO OTHERS
Talk
on your own. Don’t wait for others to make first call. Visit people and invite
them to your place. Attend ‘satsang’. Play games with people of all ages. Teach
interesting skills to children. Children like to hear stories, learn magic
‘tricks’, sing songs.
Don’t
talk only about yourself and your woes. Try to avoid telling same thing to same
people repeatedly. Avoid talking about good old days when things were very
cheap. Instead make enquiries of visitors, their achievements. Appreciate their
performance. Gracefully acknowledge any help or gifts received. Learn to keep
conversation running. Always smile. Avoid stern faces. Respond to jokes.
Talk
to others on phone, congratulate for good things, send e-mails, write letters. This
keeps dialogue rolling. Encourage others talking to you. They are your well
wishers. Don’t throw water on their enthusiasm. Remember anniversaries and
birth days. Call people on these occasions.
In a dialogue, listening is of paramount importance.
Don’t cut others saying ‘I know that’. While on phone talk, put your ‘hmmn’s
periodically, indicating your continued listening. Other wise caller will feel,
your disinterest. Remember your caller is not seeing your nods and body language.
Write
down your interesting experiences , create your own web site. It is easy and
free of cost!
5 . AHAR, VIHAR, VICHAR ( FOOD, EXERCISE,
MIND )
5.1
Appearance:
Keep
your appearance acceptable and pleasant. ( see part one of this essay.)Here I
may mention usage of dentures, when prescribed, for good mastication of food
and clear speech. If necessary, use hearing aid to improve communication. Balds
should use a hat for safety and enhanced appearance. Use a stick for balancing.
Use specs to aid vision. Wear a suitable and comfortable dress. Avoid sarees,
dhotees to lessen falls and skin irritation around waist. Have pockets on your
dress to keep your own little things and specs. Footwear should be firm fitting
on feet. Wear shoes or sandals outdoors. Lift your feet and step. Don’t slide
feet while walking. This avoids accidents. Replace damaged footwear
immediately.
5.2
Diet:
Diet
should be spread over the day. Include vegetables, fruit, salads, sprouted
cereals, fiber rich food. Avoid tobacco, snuff, cigarette, alcohol. Take
prescribed medicines regularly. Don’t stop / change medication dosage on your
own. Consult a doctor. Remember that medicines for blood pressure, diabetes
,heart / vascular diseases are life long companions. Accept this reality.
5.3
Health checks.
Periodic
checks as advised by doctor are must. This avoids unnecessary emergencies. Your
Doctor
remains conversant with progress / problems. This makes his job easier and
dependable. Some old age surgeries like cataract of eyes, knee repairs, prostate
repair, are unavoidable. Face these boldly. Socio-medical counselor will be of
great help.
5.4
Exercise and alternative medicine.
Exercise
cannot be replaced by medicine. Body responds to exercise at any age. Initially
it may cause some body pain. Slowly step up as much as you could. Get your
exercise designed by an expert or attend
a related workshop . Stretches, joint rotations, yogasanas, are of great help.
Brisk walk or walk and run combination is good to keep heart in condition. Pranayama
will control / solve problems of heart, asthma, cough, blood pressure.
Meditation will increase peace of mind and control anger. Take regular lessons
in these or attend a workshop. ( Art of living course is ideal. ).This helps
relaxation, and increases alertness. You may
also take up alternative medicine like ‘acupressure’ for joint pains.
Ayurveda and homeopathy are good to solve some chronic constitutional problems
like cough, asthma, constipation. Do not take self medication. Take expert’s
help. Auto urine therapy is well tried by many. It contains minerals, including
calcium, Urokinase ( dissolves blood clots) , and many other biologicals
preventing serious diseases. Take 100 ml in morning and repeat in afternoon.
Steam inhalation (using electrical steam generator, priced ca. 125 rupees)
twice a day is best for coughs and colds.
Practice
ambidextrous exercises. Try to eat and write with left hand. Try to move left
and right hands and feet in various combinations and change the combinations at
will. This will switch on your creative brain. This also improves adaptability.
Try
to live in present tense. Don’t remember bitter experiences of past and
imaginary pitfalls in future. Thus you will become ‘mover and shaker’.
6
. NEWER TECHNIQUES, GADGETS
Do
not shun latest gadgets. These are helpful like ‘gene’ from Allauddin’s lamp.
Learn
computer operations , e-mailing, chatting, talking overseas via internet( cheap
calls). Learn paintbrush, choral, Adobe-photo shop for tremendous advantage in
drawing and painting. Prepare your own free web site in ‘geocities’ or other
places. Publish your essays, poems in it. This is cheaper than a book printing.
Internet surfing will lead to unlimited library facility. Collect information
on many interesting subjects and prepare articles by cut and paste method. Get
information on health care, medications, yoga, meditation, travel, finance,
ticketing. Search engines like ‘google’
are great help.
Buy
and learn to use mobile telephones. Contact anybody from anywhere. Talk even as
you walk, shop, travel. Messaging SMS facility is suitable to send exact
information (without mistakes as in talk
message). You can get news on mobile.
Visit
multiplexes with younger people and see how young generation is moving about.
In
big houses, use intercom to replace shouting calls.
Learn to use ATM cards, credit cards. Learn to
use blood pressure measuring instruments and blood sugar meters.
Learn
new languages( Russian, Chinese, Japanese, tamil, gujrati and become translator
or interpreters.
7 . GIFTS AND LEGACIES
Call
people at least on phone to wish on birthdays/ anniversaries. If possible to
meet or send, do give a gift , however small. Keep some articles handy at home
for surprise presents. Your small gift
will deliver a pleasant message.
Legacies
of large sums need not be given only at your expiry. It is advisable and
thoughtful to give the allocated sum in parts earlier, at times when the
recipient needs them. If the recipient also gets too old to receive it, he is
not able to enjoy it. Some times, the giver is not able to earn optimum returns
from the sums due to unimaginative investments. Hence all such things are
better managed by mutual discussions.
You
must have something up your sleeve to make you most sought after. This need not
be necessarily moneys. You must have interesting stories, magic tricks for
kids. For grown up kids you must have skills in art, music, sports. You can be
a wise and likable counselor and quiet listner for adolescents.
If
planned imaginatively, disposal of legacies will go without a hitch. You better
have many joint holdingswith the recipients. Thus execution of will is less
troublesome. Do not sweetly imagine that everything will be peaceful affair
with the successors. Always plan for the worst and introduce safeguards in
documents , nominations and will. A vast legacy calls for making a trust
beforehand. Set aside whatever is to be given to social cause. Do this in your
lifetime only. If everything is planned and partly executed earlier, still many
corrective steps could be taken in your lifetime only, if some things start
looking against expectations.
Plan
investment in consultation with your tax adviser. He should know present
investment, moneys available for investment and your financial liabilities
including house purchases, children’s education, marriages, etc. Give him
names, ages and marital status of all in family. This helps better tax saving
exercise. It is better to study tax laws yourself. Study investment avenues.
This gives a better command. In case of doubt do get a second opinion.
Since
changes in tax laws are continuous, it is better to review every six months.
You have to take into account your age, commitments, year wise. Also consider your decreasing mental and
physical capabilities, capacity of your spouse / dependants to handle the
portfolio in your sicknesses and after your expiry. Please consider all future
possibilities, and plan readjustments periodically. Make a will for yourself
and your spouse. Do not keep any single name account unless so required by
statute. Always make nominations to take care of such short comings.
When
your efficiencies are on wane, you may
not be able to do reshuffles quite often. Day by day go on reducing
accounts that need periodic ‘nursing’. Plan for regular income and insurance
protection. Arrange for all dividend and interest receipts by ECS.( electronic
clearing service). Arrange payments to telephones, electricity, using ECS. This
takes care of them while you are on tour. Ensure that your bank accounts marked
for paying bills by ECS have enough balance.
Use ATM cards while traveling. No need to carry large cash.
Finally
, never say you are old!