Dear Friend,

In rereading my letters to you, I realized that I quite frequently, in my use of the term "friendship," intermingle the meaning to convey either a trusted pal or an intimate partner. My expectation that you could somehow read the inflection of my written word, somehow hear the intonation of my thoughts and distinguish between the two differing meanings of the same word, was wrong. The terminology, as well as the emotions, should be distinct, more readily distinguishable from the other.

For me, the issue of our friendship is a completely seperate one from that of our more intimate relationship. Our friendship is a fact, it is not optional - you and I will be friends for life, period.

Our relationship outside of that friendship is much more complex, more arduous. It is the initimate aspect of our relationship in which our dreams, our wishes are so diverse from the other while our desires are so compatiable, our bodies and minds so atuned to one another. It is this with which I struggle so, to make sense of so that I might, in time, find a way to give you my heart without having it broken time and again.

Our relationship is so very strange and different from what I think of as "the norm." It is so maddeningly frustrating, so painfully difficult. Yet, I feel a certain pull towards you, a quiet undeniable knowledge that this relationship is worth an ernest and dogged attempt to find the perfect balance point. Once found, I think the rewards will be exquisite, the relationship a solid and wonderful addition to the friendship.

Bn.