Dear Friend,

In my very first letter to you I said that this friendship seemed to grow unmindful of my desire to retreat, unheeding of my sense of danger. I said that I often wished you would stop caring, quit being a friend so that I could find the sense of balance I once had in my aloneness. I think that maybe this is the time to heed those warnings of danger and retreat from this untenable situation which possesses no future for me. I must force myself to once again learn to lead with my head, leaving my heart only for my child and myself.

I understand it will not be without a wrenching of the heart and soul, this retreat. As our friendship grew, so too did my heart, to accommodate the feelings, whatever they be called, that blossomed between us. But in the swirl of emotions, I gave little thought to myself. With eyes wide open, I was still startled to find myself once again mistress to a man who would never make me a priority. Only this time, so much more was at stake because I truly cared and was, therefore, so much more vunerable.

There will be no tearful goodbye, my tears having always been reserved for solitary moments. There will be no bitchiness, no recriminations, that is not my style. I will simply leave your house one night and with the stars overhead make that final drive home.

Bn.