Dear Friend,

One tiny step forward, two large ones backward. I originally wrote you a single thank-you letter to release the build-up of emotion that our friendship had generated within me. I made it available for you to read in an effort to reach out to a friend with whom I seemed destined to remain mute.

In utilizing the computer for that endeavor, I inadvertently found my medium of expression. I found a voice for the myriad of thoughts in my head. One letter seemed to lead to another and another. Mostly to you, a friend, but not solely.

With meaningful conversation so difficult for me, I had thought to share myself, my soul with you in the only manner available to me, through my letters. With a careless comment, a simple phrase, however, I once again felt uncomfortable with you, imposing in my efforts. I felt then that I was wrong in sharing and in that instance my letters to you became not a means of communication but a diary to myself.

You will never see this letter. Our friendship, once again at a hurdle, will not make it over. Unwilling to attempt the jump, my decision will force us to take another path. Perhaps to scale great heights in a differing manner, perhaps to stagnate at the current level or perhaps, even, to dissolve as if it had never begun. It remains to be seen.

Bn.