Rite
of Handfasting
High Priest & Priestess arrive early to bless and consecrate the
circle. After all are seated, the High Priestess says:
“We have come together to witness and bless the handfasting of (bride) and (groom). We add our energies to their energies, our good intentions to their good intentions. If any object to this union or this rite, please leave this circle now.”
They
then light the altar candles and incense, stand before the altar, arms aloft,
and call:
“May
the place of this Rite be consecrated before the Gods,
For we gather here in a ritual of love
With two who would become one.
(bride) and (groom), come forward
To stand before us
And before the Gods and Nature.”
The
two come forward to stand before the altar, bride to the left of the groom. The
Priestess then addresses the mothers of the couple:
“A
handfasting is not merely a joining of two people, but of two families. Will the
mothers of the families step forward and light these candles as symbols of the
lives they have given these two before us.”
The
mothers light the candle corresponding to their child, then return to their
seats. The
High Priest instructs the circle to stand (as they are able), if the circle is
seated.
The
Priest and Priestess then lead the couple around the circle, calling the
quarters alternatingly:
Standing to the East, the couple lights the white candle as the Priestess
says:
“Be
with us here, O powers of Air!
With your clever fingers,
Tie closely the bonds between these two!
Bless
them with the gifts of communication of heart, mind & soul, fresh beginnings
with each rising sun, and the knowledge of growth found in the sharing of
silence.”
Blessed Be!”
All
respond, “Blessed Be!”
Standing
at the South, the couple lights the red candle as the Priest says:
“Be with us here, O powers of Fire!
Give their love and passion
Your everlasting power!
Bless
them with the warmth of hearth and home and the light of their hearts’
passion.
Blessed Be!”
All
respond, “Blessed Be!”
Standing
at the West, the couple lights the blue candle & the Priestess says:
“Be with us here, O powers of Water!
Give them the deepest of loves
And may their cup ever be full!
Bless
them with the peace of the lake, the joy of the rain, and the eternity of the
sea.
Blessed Be!”
All
respond, “Blessed Be!”
Standing
at the North, the couple lights the green candle & the Priest says:
“Be with us here, O powers of Earth!
Grant them health, strength and abundance
For as long as the stones may stand!
Bless
them with a firm foundation, healthy bodies, and a stable home to which they may
always return.
Blessed Be!”
All respond, “Blessed Be!”
Priest
& Priestess return to the altar, hold arms aloft, and say:
“Radiant Goddess, Mighty God,
Grant to these before us, we do ask,
Your love and protection!
Blessed Be!”
All
respond, “Blessed Be!”
The
Priestess tells the circle they may be seated, then addresses the couple:
“When
Love beckons to you, follow it.
Though
its ways are hard & steep.
And
when its essence enfolds you, yield to it,
Though
the thorn hidden among its petals may wound you.
And
when it speaks to you, believe in it,
Though
its voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For
even as Love crowns you, so shall it crucify you. Even as it is for your growth
so is it for your pruning.
Even
as it ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in
the sun,
So
shall it descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the Earth.”
High
Priest reads:
“Like
sheaves of corn it gathers you unto itself .
It
threshes you to make you naked.
It
sifts you to free you from your husks.
It
grinds you whiteness.
It
kneads you until you are pliant;
And
then it assigns you to its sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for the
Gods’ sacred feast.
All
these things shall Love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart,
and in that knowledge, become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But
if in your fear you would only seek Love’s peace and Love’s pleasure,
Then
it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of Love’s
threshing floor,
Into
the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and
weep, but not all of your tears.
Love
gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love
possesses not nor would it be possessed,
For
Love is sufficient unto Love.
When
you love, you should not say, “The Gods are in my heart,”
But
rather, “I am in the heart of the Gods.”
And
think not you can direct the course of Love, for Love, if it finds you worthy,
directs your course.”
High
Priestess reads:
“Love
has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But
if you Love and must have desires,
Let
these be your desires:
To
melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To
know the pain of too much tenderness.
To
be wounded by your own understanding of Love,
And
to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To
wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving,
To
rest at the noon hour and meditate Love’s ecstasy,
To
return home at eventide with gratitude,
And
then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise
upon your lips.”
[from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran]
Priestess
asks:
“Do you, (bride), of your own will, with the Sun, Moon, and all
relations as witness, choose this man, (groom), as your love throughout all
lives?”
Bride
answers.
Priest
says:
“Then
as a symbol of the perfection and eternity of your love, present to him a
ring.”
Bride
gives him the ring and declares her vows, if she so wishes.
Priest
asks:
“Do you, (groom), of your own will, with the Sun, Moon, and all
relations as witness, choose this woman, (bride), as your love throughout all
lives?”
Groom
answers.
Priestess
says:
“Then
as a symbol of the perfection and eternity of your love, present to her a
ring.”
Groom
gives her the ring and declares his vows, if he so wishes.
After
the exchange, Priest & Priestess say, alternating lines:
You
were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You
shall be together when the white wings of Death scatter your days.
Aye,
you shall be together even in the silent memory of the Gods.
But
let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance
between you.
Love
one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let
it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill
one anothers’ cup, but drink not from the same cup.
Give
one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing
and dance together and be joyous, but let each of you be unique.
Even
as the strings of a lute are unique though they quiver with the same music.
Give
your hearts, but not into each others’ keeping.
For
only the hand of the Goddess can contain your hearts.
And
stand together, yet not too near together.
For
the pillars of the temple stand apart.
And
the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each others’ shadow.”
[from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran]
Then the High Priest addresses the couple:
“Take
now the flames of your hearts and bring them together as your hearts have been
brought together. For though they each burn separately, together they create a
new flame, new life.”
The
couple uses their candles to light the Unity candle.
Priest
& Priestess hold the crimson cord at the couple’s hands.
Priest
says: “Will
you cause her pain?”
Groom:
“I
may.”
Priest:
“Is
that your intent?”
Groom:
“No.”
Priestess
repeats the questions to the bride.
Both
ask: “Will you share each other’s
pain and seek to ease it?”
Both
answer: “Yes.”
The
cord is draped over their hands, then the black cord is held to their hands.
Priest
says: “Will
you burden her?”
Groom:
“I
may.”
Priest:
“Is
that your intent?”
Groom:
“No.”
Priestess
repeats the questions to the bride.
Both
ask: “Will
you share the burdens of each so that your spirits will grow in this union?”
Couple:
“Yes.”
They
then drape the black cord over their wrists. Then the white cord is held up.
Priest:
“Will
you share her laughter and her dreams?”
Groom:
“Yes.”
Priestess
repeats the question to the bride.
Both
ask: “Will
you work together to make those dreams reality?”
Both:
“Yes.”
All
three cords are tied together.
Priest
& Priestess say:
“Then
as the Sun, Moon, and all relations are witness to this Rite,
We now proclaim you husband and wife!
Thus are thy hands fasted,
The two are now one,
The work of joy done, and yet begun!
Blessed Be!”
The Bride & Groom may now kiss, and jump the broom.