The Perks of Being Over 65

  1. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
  2. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they cannot remember them either.
  3. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
  4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
  5. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
  6. Things you buy now will not wear out.
  7. You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
  8. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
  9. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
  10. You have a party and the neighbors do not even realize it.
  11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
  12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
  13. You sing along with elevator music.
  14. Your eyes will not get much worse.
  15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
  16. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
  17. You are on the cutting edge of the newest style because you have been wearing it for the last 20 years. Courtesy of Dixie Palmer
  18. All your thoughts and ideas are fresh and new since you forget everything five minutes after you hear it. Courtesy of Dixie Palmer

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