Laws Of Life
- Law of Mechanical Repair
- After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you will have to pee.
- Law Of the Workshop
- Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner, even if it is square.
- Law of Visual Probability
- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
- Law of the Telephone
- If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
- Law of the Alibi.
- If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
- Variation Law
- If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
- Law of the Bath
- When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
- Law of Close Encounters
- The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you do not want to be seen with.
- Law of the Result
- When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
- Law of the Theatre
- At any event the people whose seats are furthest from the asile arrive last.
- Law of Coffee Temperature
- As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
- Murphy's Law of Lockers
- If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
- Law of Rugs/Carpets
- The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the cost of the carpet.
- Law of Logical Argument
- Anything is possible if you do not know what you are talking about.
- Brown's Law
- If the shoe fits, it is ugly.
- Oliver's Law
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- Wilson's Law
- As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
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