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Ted Reilly closes the door and flicks the light switch. Nothing happens. The only light in the room is coming from John Carter's head. "I thought we paid the electric bill!" he scowls.
"I did," John reminds him, "but the lights are forty feet up, and the bulbs blew out as soon as I hooked up the computer."
Ted looks up. The ceiling of the theater is at least forty feet above them. "So how many superheroes does it take to change a light bulb? Last time I checked, you could fly."
John points to a box full of broken glass. "And every time I torch up enough to fly the bulbs explode. Why don't you just walk up the wall and change them yourself? Oh, wait... you don't have that power, do you?"
Ted Reilly, who doubles as the semi-famous Scarlet Scarab, was given super-powers based on those of the much-more famous Spider-Boy. Or at least that was the plan. He wound up with enhanced strength, stamina, and agility, but not the personal gravity control. "Maybe not," he admits," but I do have this." Ted starts changing into his costume.
John Carter, the Golden Torch from the year 2099, ignores his teammate's rambling while he tries to finish typing in the dark. The purchase of the Vogue Theater left them both financially drained, but without the special loads they received it would have been impossible. Now he has to finish filing all the necessary papers so they can receive non-profit status and legally renovate the abandoned movie-house into their new headquarters. Suddenly an engine roars to life and a swirl of wind scatters the stacks of paperwork around the auditorium. "Hey!"
Ted is oblivious to the damage he is causing. He says nothing until the first of several lights are changed. "There!" he shouts, "Nothing to it!"
Johnny Carter cannot hear him over the rumbling of the jetpack. He looks up to confirm what he suspects. Ted has incorporated the wings from the Crimson Cricket outfit into his own costume. John tries yelling, but cannot be heard. Instead he ignites himself and flies up to where Ted is located. A couple 'thunks' on the Scarab's new helmet get his attention, and he sees what is happening below.
Ted cuts off the booster, using the fluttering wings to lower himself to the floor. "Sorry about that. I guess the modified suit works best outdoors."
"Got tired of being the only superhero on the block who can't fly, huh?"
"Yeah, but it's not as easy as I thought. The wings don't have enough lift to hover for more than a minute, and maneuverability is lousy."
John starts picking up tax forms and applications. "That explains the helmet."
"And with all this extra weight I feel like I'm wearing a Buick on my back." Ted sheds his new attachments and helps clean up. "I think I'll just keep it in the van. Never know when it might come in handy."
Ted and John straighten out the rest of the mess and get back to work on the applications. The new headquarters is a far cry from ready, but it's a necessary evil. Months ago John and Ted were sent to Australia by their employer, Young Heroes For Hire, where they assisted John Jones in tracking down his renegade pupil Sabrina the teenage vampire slayer. That mission resulted in the girl taking on a new identity, that of Sabrina the teenage Witchblade. It also resulted in over two million dollars of damage to the city of Canberra. John Jones covered the debt, but the very next day Oracle, the mysterious backer for the Young Heroes, pulled her financial support. Power Drive & Off-Fist tried to hold the YH4H together, but the vast majority of their roster were minors, and no one seemed willing to support an upcoming team of promising no-names.
Scarlet Scarab and Golden Torch were left with nowhere else to go, so they decided to stick around. They were already enrolled for the semester at the USL, and the city of St. Louisville has a unique relationship with the metamutant community. Back in the '80s the mayor was a hero called Captain Cardinal, who established the city as a tax shelter for super-types.
Their efforts to establish themselves so far have been balked, primarily by a lack of criminal activity. And with only a 1969 VW Van for transportation, they are not capable of patrolling the entire mid-west. Even so, they are determined to make a name for themselves.
The sound of a telephone ringing interrupts the paperwork both heroes are engaged in. Ted looks around, determining that the sound is coming from the theater lobby (the other line is being used for the internet), and rushes out to answer it. "Scarlet Scarab, hero extraordinaire!" he announces boisterously.
Moments later he hangs up the receiver and returns to the cinema. "That was Sgt. Sutherland. Somebody reported a weird light show at the zoo, and the SLPD wants us to check it out!" They opts to fly across the city, rather than show up in a beat-up VW, and take off as soon as Ted can get his wings-pack back on.
Their arrival is suitably impressive, but John is concerned when he realizes they are not the center of attention. "David," he calls out to Sergeant Sutherland of the Saint Louisville Police Department, "what are we looking for here?"
"Us!" The shout comes from a large figure that appears to be a human boulder. John Carter recognizes him instantly, and grabs Ted Reilly to pull him out of the way before the big guy impacts.
"We gotta get out of here!" he yells, unaware that he's burning the Scarlet Scarab's costume as he jerks him into the air. "These guys are the Substitute Four from 2099!"
"So what do they want with us?" He asks while prying his arm out of the Torch's fiery grip.
"I'm guessing they're still mad that I stole a Time-Buoy and ran off to the Twentieth century. Either that or I have 'under-due' library books checked out!" They head back to the Vogue Theater, with three flyers in pursuit.
Ted looks back a couple times, and sees that in addition to Captain Granite there is an albino woman and a girl with really big hair. "I thought it was the Substitute FOUR. Who's missing?"
"Mister Elastic. Watch out, he's the brains of the outfit. He could be laying a trap for us right now. John takes the lead and reaches the skylight entrance ahead of Ted. The Scarlet Scarab has to kick in his retro-thrusters to avoid crashing through the roof. Unfortunately this leaves him exposed during deceleration, and a bright red tendril comes up from behind, snagging him.
"It's the Stretchy-Guy! He's got me!" The Scarab tries to yell to his teammate, but another tentacle wraps around his mouth. No, not quite a tentacle. More like... "Hair?"
Suspended as he is, his enhanced strength is useless; no leverage. His wings, though, prove much more appropriate to the situation. Switching them to hover-beat, the blade-like wings scissors-cut through the vermilion locks ensnaring him.
Spider-Girl screams in pain. Although she is not physically damaged, her hair was bio-engineered with ultra-sensitive nerve-endings, sending her into sensory shock when it is severed. Her cry for help is interrupted by a mouth-full of sticky pink foam. "Let's see how YOU like it!" Ted shouts, pumping out several rounds of Silly String at her.
Brick Boy charges forward propelled by his flight belt. "Leave her alone!!" barely reaches the Scarlet Scarab's ears before the rock-hard fist does. The blow cracks Reilly's helmet and sends him into the neon sign mounted on the rooftop of the Vogue. Naturally, it uses that opportunity to fall. On the Scarlet Scarab (of course).
Johnny Carter cannot help hearing the clamoring now, and goes topside to see if his friend is in trouble. "Leave the Scarab out of this. It's me you want!"
"You better believe it is! You have a lot to answer for," Infectious Girl hovers close to him, ready to release a crippling disease into the air should he try to escape.
"Fine, I'll go back. Just let me talk to Mr. E first. I think he might understand my..."
"Mister Elastic is dead, thanks to you betraying us! Shortly after you went AWOL Chronos-Tut attacked. He targeted Long-Johns first, reducing him to genetic goo. Before Infectious Girl or I could respond, he stole the Project's databases, claiming he had an ally in the 20th century that would find it useful."
"It doesn't take a Legion of Fantastic Substitutes to figure out who he meant. We all know about your obsession with the genetic flaw that will cause our powers to burn out our own bodies."
"You sent Kang back to do your dirty work, and figured that with Elastic out of the way, we wouldn't be able to pursue you through time," Spider-Girl accuses, still cradling her wounded trusses. "Project Moraturi stepped up my training so I could join the others. When I was younger I used to look up to you."
"Stepped up your training? In other words the accelerated your development so you would be mature enough to fight. All that will do for you is speed you to an early grave! That's what I've been trying to explain to all of you! Our only purpose is to be super-powered cannonfod-"
"No more lies! If I kill you now, maybe Tut will never make that deal with you and Mr. Elastic won't be dead!" Brick Boy's logic is as flawed as his intentions, but neither matter as a berserker rage overcomes him, and he soars straight into his target.
Only to find him not there. The Golden Torch is just as surprised. He had no intention of running out on his former friends, and was even prepared to let Brick Boy vent some frustration before stopping him. Instead he is left momentarily off-balance, as he stands in the garage behind the theater.
"How..?"
The Scarlet Scarab pokes his head out the driver's window of the VW. "It helps to keep a Rolodex. Especially with numbers like Off-Fist's cell phone in it."
Off-Fist, former co-leader of the Young Heroes For Hire, gives the Torch a half-bow. "There is wisdom in choosing your battles, and right now you do not appear to prepared for such a decision. Now you two get out here, before they figure out what happened."
"I can't just leave a trio of enraged genetix from the future to destroy the city while I cower in fear somewhere. At least not with HIM driving!"
"Thanks, your confidence in me means a lot. But here's what I worked out. We jaunt back to 2099, stop Kang from killing your buddy before it happens, and none of this has to take place!"
"That's even worse than Brick Boy's idea! You can't just screw around with time like that! Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. If you erase this encounter, we never have the motivation to prevent it, and POW!... Instant paradox!"
"We can debate the metaphysics of time later, your fan club's here! Hop in!" Johnny Carter does so only to avoid the rubble flying from what used to be a perfectly good wall. He is quite surprised to see that several components from his Time Buoy have been mounted and wired inside the van. With Off-Fist standing directly in front of them, Ted guns the engine and jumps into a custom-made wormhole. "Next stop, the future!"
"Not according to these instrument. They can't calibrate on Off-Fist's chi-powered warps. We could be headed anywhere! Or AnyWhen!"
Or NoWhen...
To Be Continued
Amalgamations:
Legion of Fantastic Substitutes (a.k.a. the Substitute Four) - Legion of Substitute Heroes / Fantastic Four 2099, Project Moraturi elements
Brick Boy - Blok / Thing 2099
Mister Elastic - Elastic-Lad / Mr. Fantastic 2099
Infectious Woman - Infectious Lass / Invisible Girl (Woman) 2099
Spider-Girl - Spider-Girl (of Work Force / Spider-Girl (of MC2)
The NoWhere-Men
Scarlet Scarab - Blue Beetle II / Scarlet Spider
Golden Torch - Booster Gold / Human Torch 2099
Young Heroes For Hire - Young Heroes In Love / Heroes For Hire
PowerDrive - Harddrive / Power Man (Luke Cage)
Off-Fist - Off-Ramp / Iron Fist
Oracle - Oracle / Oracle Industries
John Jones, Vampire Hunter - J'Onn J'Onzz (Martian Manhunter) / Blade, Vampire Hunter
Sabrina the teenage vampire hunter / Witchblade - Sabrina the teenage Witch / Buffy the Vampire-Slayer / Witchblade
Captain Cardinal - Captain Kentucky / The Masked Cardinal (you hadda be there to get this one)
Crimson Cricket - Superman Red / Hornet, Scarlet Spider
Chronos-Tut the Time Pharaoh, a.k.a. Kang the Time Conqueror - Chronos / Rama-Tut / Richard Nixon / Time Trapper / Kang
Spider-Boy - Superboy / Spider-Man
All character owned by Crazy Ivan, except Chronos-Tut, Spider-Boy, and John Jones, who are owned by Marvel & DC Comics. This fan fiction is created for non-profit, entertainment purposes, and is an original intellectual property of Crazy Ivan (although I do use the term 'intellectual' pretty loosely). Captain Kentucky created and owned by Don Rosa. The Masked Cardinal created and owned by Jim Wampler.
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Ron Schablotski <[email protected]>
There Came A Time When The Old Gods... Changed!
-- THORION AND THE NEW ASGODS #1