Tristan Taormino is an example of someone from Sayville. She is an expert in female anal sex. She has made movies, is a prolific writer, and calls herself, �queer.� She considers her gay father her greatest influence. As he was gay, she is gay. As is much of Sayville/Gayville 11782 (The gay communities of Cherry Grove and the Pines share a zip code and post office with Sayville.) During the summer the gay outnumber the rest in this zip code! This is the only truly gay place on Long Island. Tristan Taormino was an advisor to Spike Lee in his lesbian film, �She Hate Me.� Her father died of aids. 7
In regard to Sayville having the first gay suburban prom, Tristan said, �Speaking of proms, when I was in high school, I didn't want to be prom queen as much as I wanted to do the prom queen.� Of her own prom in Sayville she said, �I wore a hunter-green velvet and taffeta dress, went with a guy friend who I ditched to go camping with my buddies later that night (sorry, Chris!), and danced to our theme song, some cheesy ballad by Bon Jovi.� In regard to gay teachers at her school she said, �There were speculations about a few teachers�� 1
Here she describes what it was like to grow up in Sayville/Gayville 11782: �My most memorable erotic experience as a teenager happened in the workplace. When I was in junior high, I had a crush on a female classmate who was assertive, brash, and one of those girls who �developed early� (read: had big boobs). We used to hang out after school, and my favorite game of ours went like this: She was my male boss and I was her secretary. I had to do whatever she said or I would lose my job. Most of the time, my tasks strayed from taking dictation and typing memos to sexual service. I always had to be "forced" into it with threats of unemployment, but eventually I would yield to receiving her tongue in my mouth, rubbing her crotch through her thin cotton pants, or having my face shoved between her legs. Sometimes she'd grab my wrists and hold me down, leaving bright ruby marks on my pale skin. The game itself never changed, but I got off each and every time. The hottest part of the exchange was the power she held over me, and the idea that I was trading sex for my job. It was my introduction into the world of fantasy role-playing, erotic power dynamics, and s/m." 2
According to New York Newsday October 13, 2002, , �Taormino, who grew up in Sayville,� said that the way she started writing about sex was that a teacher, ��encouraged her to write about sex, the subject of her senior thesis.� Tristan was thought that this teacher was such a great influence on her that she said, �I dedicated my first book to her." 9
In Salon article, �Have sex like a queer!� she described what it was like growing up in Sayville, �"I definitely fooled around with girls and boys growing up. It was just like part of what I did. People started to get boy crazy, that mandatory heterosexuality kicking in -- so around 15 I was not fooling around with girlfriends as much as boys." and "I grew up on Long Island. When I was 1, my dad came out as gay and left my mom. I was raised by my mom. She never remarried. I grew up in a small, very WASPy town on Long Island. Went to public school."
In the article she added, "I'd been working with her all year on my thesis, which was about butch-femme sexuality." "I don't want to be identified as gay," but be "firmly identified as being queer. A dyke." 10
In an interview with Jean Roberta, Tristan Taormino told about how she turned gay in Sayville 11782:
JR: How and when did you first realize that you were sexually attracted to girls/women?
TT: I grew up being sexual with both girls and boys from a very young age. I can remember fooling around with girls until I was in Junior High, then things definitely shifted. Girls started getting 'boy crazy,' and I just kind of followed suit. I had an enormous crush on one of my best friends in high school and we had one of those intense, emotional, flirtatious-but-not-quite-sexual relationships.� And when she was much older, �I developed a crush on a friend who was a dyke. I decided to act on it, so I told her, and she became my first girlfriend.� 8
A former boyfriend called Tom told the author, � Never thought she would turn out to be a big famous BDSM star though, who would have guessed?� Another said, ��she kept it very conservative in High School, but I knew she was very passionate/wild, as we were involved some for about a month, although it was in total secret��
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Tristan's uses the town of Sayville purple and gold in her book. |
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Books written by Sayville author Tristan Taormino. |
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One of her movies. Note use of purple. |
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 Taormino's website colors are Sayville town's purple and gold. |
 Tristan
helped Spike Lee make the gay film, "She Hate Me." |
Links:
Andy Warhol films gay movie in Sayville/Gayville 11782
History of the origin of lavender as a gay symbol and "Purple Power."
FOOTNOTES:
1 http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0121/taormino.shtml
Pucker Up by Tristan Taormino
Porn Queens and Prom Kings May 18th, 2001
�Speaking of proms, when I was in high school, I didn't want to be prom queen as
much as I wanted to do the prom queen.�
�Upon my return from pornoland, my mom told me that there was going to be a gay
prom this year in my Long Island hometown, Sayville. You might think that back
when I went to school, Sayville was a tiny bit hip or liberal, since it is not
only a suburb of New York City but also the famed place where queers have been
boarding the ferries to Fire Island since before I was born.� and �There were no
"out" gay students. There were speculations about a few teachers but no dialogue
about gays and lesbians except the usual homophobic high school banter.�
�Proms have changed a lot since the year I wore a hunter-green velvet and
taffeta dress, went with a guy friend who I ditched to go camping with my
buddies later that night (sorry, Chris!), and danced to our theme song, some
cheesy ballad by Bon Jovi. This year, in Ferndale, Washington, students elected
a woman prom king. And not just any woman, but a big, butch, out dyke who
brought her girlfriend to the prom.�
2. Pucker Up by Tristan Taormino
Red Marks September 20th, 2002 Village Voice
http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0239/taormino.php
�My most memorable erotic experience as a teenager happened in the workplace.
When I was in junior high, I had a crush on a female classmate who was
assertive, brash, and one of those girls who �developed early� (read: had big
boobs). We used to hang out after school, and my favorite game of ours went like
this: She was my male boss and I was her secretary. I had to do whatever she
said or I would lose my job. Most of the time, my tasks strayed from taking
dictation and typing memos to sexual service. I always had to be "forced" into
it with threats of unemployment, but eventually I would yield to receiving her
tongue in my mouth, rubbing her crotch through her thin cotton pants, or having
my face shoved between her legs. Sometimes she'd grab my wrists and hold me
down, leaving bright ruby marks on my pale skin. The game itself never changed,
but I got off each and every time. The hottest part of the exchange was the
power she held over me, and the idea that I was trading sex for my job. It was
my introduction into the world of fantasy role-playing, erotic power dynamics,
and s/m."
3 A Woman Like That : Lesbian and Bisexual Writers Tell Their Coming Out Stories
Perennial
by Joan Larkin. Release date: 01 November, 2000
"Tristan Taormino's entry about visiting her queer father as a teenager, and her
adventures with her first girlfriend, and Cecilia Tan's amusing and honest tale
of her mother coping with (and celebrating) her bisexuality and erotic writing,
are especially enjoyable reading."
4 http://www.puckerup.com/voice/dragqueenonmyface.htm
"As a teenager, I spent the summer with my father in one of the gayest places on
earth, Provincetown, Massachusetts, where some of my best friends donned wigs
and gowns for a living. What I loved about some of the queens was their female
masquerade, their brash sexuality, their fabulousness."
"Worked up from worshiping Ivory, I again noticed our sultry waitress, who
caught my eye when she first took our order. Maybe it was her gorgeous flowing
brown hair, or maybe it was the fact that I
have the shirt that matched the skirt she was wearing (a red Chinese satin mini
with black patent leather trim), but suddenly I really wanted to fuck her. Her
name was Trinity, and I asked her later, "Um, do you ever do girls?" She replied
sweetly, "What?" not because my question confused her, but because she couldn't
hear me over the Mariah Carey song blasting around us."
"I've never had sex with a drag queen before, so I explored the possibilities in
my mind. I could strapit on and fuck her in the ass in the ladies' room. She
could make me her bitch and nail me from behind in the alley. We could go lesbo
all the way, her licking my pussy and me, tongue between her legs, adoring an
imaginary cunt. I wish I could have opened my eyes and been right there to
exclaim, "Oh, my God! There's a drag queen on my face! And I don't even care if
she smears my lipstick. . . ."
5 Prominent Lesbians Outraged By Spike Lee Film 08/16/2004
Despite Tristan Taormino working as a technical advisor. I would love to serve
as the lesbian technical advisor on a major Hollywood feature. Go Tristan.
Lesbians accuse Spike Lee film of exploitation
6 Gary Younge in New York Monday August 16, 2004
The Guardian Prominent Lesbians Outraged By Spike Lee Film
Despite Tristan Taormino working as a technical advisor. I would love to serve
as the lesbian technical advisor on a major Hollywood feature. Go Tristan.
http://hardcoregossip.com/index.php
Lesbians accuse Spike Lee film of exploitation
The American filmmaker Spike Lee has been accused of "exploiting" lesbian
lifestyles and pandering to "male sexual fantasies" in his new film, in which a
straight man impregnates several lesbians a night at $10,000 a time.
Prominent lesbians have dismissed Lee's film, She Hate Me, saying its portrayal
of lesbian life is both "extremely harmful and lacking in complexity".
With no job and no money he accepts an offer from his ex-fiancee, who has since
become a lesbian, to impregnate her and her girlfriend. Soon he is working for
several very feminine "lipstick" lesbians in one night, making good money and
giving most of them orgasms at the same time.
Before he made the film Lee hired Tristan Taormino, a lesbian author and sex
columnist for the Village Voice magazine, as "technical consultant". Taormino
said she made Lee go to "lesbian boot camp", where she gave him a crash course
in lesbian life through books, visits to lesbian bars, panel discussions and so
on.
7 http://www.epinions.com/content_39970442884
Out of the Ordinary: Essays on Growing Up with Gay, Lesbian and Transgender
Parents (St. Martins Press)
Edited by Noelle Howey and Ellen Samuels
Tristan Taormino writes movingly of her gay father�s influence on her life,
comparing his struggles being queer before Stonewall to her own access to a
thriving queer culture. Hers is one of several that poignantly recounts a
parent�s death from AIDS,
8 http://www.girlphoria.com/wie/tristan-taormino.htm
INTERVIEW WITH TRISTAN TAORMINO
By Jean Roberta
JR: How and when did you first realize that you were sexually attracted to
girls/women?
TT: I grew up being sexual with both girls and boys from a very young age. I can
remember fooling around with girls until I was in Junior High, then things
definitely shifted. Girls started getting 'boy crazy,' and I just kind of
followed suit. I had an enormous crush on one of my best friends in high school
and we had one of those intense, emotional, flirtatious-but-not-quite-sexual
relationships. When I was 19 and a sophomore in college, I developed a crush on
a friend who was a dyke. I decided to act on it, so I told her, and she became
my first girlfriend.
JR: How and when did you first become involved in "BDSM" (for lack of a clearer
term) sexuality/relationships?
TT: I have a very clear memory of being into Dominant and submissive role
playing with girlfriends that I was messing around with - I really got off on
it. I started playing consciously with BDSM with my first serious girlfriend in
college - I was a sophomore.
JR: How have your relatives responded to your public persona as a sex radical?
TT: Well, my father when he was alive totally supported me, and my mom, well,
she has come a long way. She embraces all of it, even the porn and the anal sex
which even I admit is a lot for a mother to swallow! But she's really great.
JR: Among people you have known personally, who do you think has had the most
influence on you?
TT: My father, absolutely.
TT: I identify as a pansexual, polyamorous switch, and that identify is
definitely a product of my generation. I think that older folks were a lot more
rigid in their definitions, and it was a lot harder to cross back and forth
across lines of gender, sexual orientation, and top/bottom than it is today. I
prefer partners of all genders and I am definitely non-monogamous. I am both a
Top (and owner of a darling boy) and a bottom. I am definitely more into
Dominance and submission (D/s) than sadomasochism (SM). If I am flagging
anything, I guess it's: red hanky on the left for a fisting top and yellow hanky
on the left for my golden shower fetish and purple hanky and dark blue hanky on
the right for my love of play piercing and anal sex (not necessarily together).
9. http://www.safina.com/press1.php
Let's Talk About Sex New York Newsday October 13, 2002
Taormino, who grew up in Sayville, says she was originally headed for law
school, but when her law exam scores weren't high enough to get into the schools
she wanted, a professor/adviser at Wesleyan University encouraged her to write
about sex, the subject of her senior thesis. "I dedicated my first book to her,"
she said.
10 Have sex like a queer!
Sex guru and "Pucker Up" author Tristan Taormina talks about opening all the
doors, then goes shopping for a dog collar
By David Bowman Nov. 1, 2001 |
http://archive.salon.com/sex/feature/2001/11/01/tristan/print.html
"I definitely fooled around with girls and boys growing up. It was just like
part of what I did. People started to get boy crazy, that mandatory
heterosexuality kicking in -- so around 15 I was not fooling around with
girlfriends as much as boys."
"I grew up on Long Island. When I was 1, my dad came out as gay and left my mom.
I was raised by my mom. She never remarried. I grew up in a small, very WASPy
town on Long Island. Went to public school."
"I'd been working with her all year on my thesis, which was about butch-femme
sexuality."
"I don't want to be identified as gay."" firmly identified as being queer. A
dyke."
Sayville
high school football.
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Tristan Taormino is the editor of On Our Backs and
a columnist for the Village Voice, Taboo, Penthouse.com, Spectator, and The Loop.
Sayville.