9 May 2005 [12:08am]

Playlist: Mae - The Everglow

All the luck in the world can't save me now. Five cups of coffee is turning my stomach, and it's only 12noon. I'm on the verge of sickness. I am freaking out beyond my own recognition. My memory is failing me. Repetition is not an option. Brutal thoughts are consuming me. Mental contamination has infested the very head I'm depending on. I'm treding on familiar grounds I can't control. This is my brain in favor of insanity. These are emotions I can't explain. It just is. I just am. Right now, this very moment, every inch of my body is uncontrollably panicing for the worst to come. All the luck in the world, it can't save me. I've ran out of my body and hid from myself. Tears don't know how to flow. I'm barricaded, created a dam for my helpless emotions. I'm writing to slow for my thoughts. I've got plastic eyes that give me twenty/twenty vision and everything is still a blur. I'm twitching and jittery. I've had far too much coffee. Time is ticking, the world doesn't stop, not for anyone, and I'm standing still, left behind. I need time out. I need to bleed. I need a pleasent reminder that I do exist. And my lungs are black. I can hardly breath from the chains of death sticks I keep taking in. I caved. Sadly, I caved and I'm not proud. Dear Luck, find me. Dear self, I really need to stop uncontrollably shaking, I need to pass.

<< rewind | fast forward >>




karenina || save scrotie � 2004