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The Cycle of Abuse

I often wonder why so many people choose to stay in SA?? I can't help to wonder we might have been exaggerating the problems in SA?? Maybe it's not as bad as we thought it to be.

But when I read some of the horror crime stories in South Africa or think about Zimbabwe, I know it's not. It's true and very real.

Today I read a site on women abuse and I thought it to be very apt categories for people refusing to leave a country that is abusing them.

The categories of abuse

The Safety Seeker:
It may be familiar, and oddly enough, a comfortable lifestyle.

So true for SAs - comfortable not in the sense of maids and gardeners or good weather, but having lived in this familiar situation. Easier to deal with what is known and might be expeted, rather to face the unknown.

The Blind:
Not realizing it is "abuse."

Not realising what is happening in SA is NOT the norm of living standards in the rest of the world.

The Worthless:
"No one else would ever love me."

Fear of not being able to succeed in a foreign country.

The Defective:
"I deserved it; I'll do better."

It is because of apartheid. White people abused black people for years. They have to take what come their way.

The Manager:
"I can keep it from happening again."

I can keep myself safe by installing burglar alarms and anti-hijacking devices.

The Gullible:
"He's really sorry this time, and it won't happen again."

It is going to improve soon. We're past the worse.

The Pretender:
"I know I make him sound terrible, but he's really a good person
most of the time."

It's really not that bad. Every country has it's own set of problems.

The Defender:
"He didn't mean to hurt me."

The killers aren't bad people, they're just confused and hurt and angry. You
can hardly blame them.

The Caretaker:
"No one else understands him the way I do."

I will help to build the country up. I won't run away.

The Fantasizer:
"But I love him."

I love this country. I love the people, the sun. This is the most beautiful
country in the world.

The Martyr:
"He isn't hurting the children; if he ever did, I'd leave."

We deserve it. After all we abused their rights for years.

The Helpless:
"I can't support the children on my own."

I could never survive a relocation.

The Hopeless:
"He'll kill me if I try to leave him."

I don't have enough points. The worst one of them all.

Good for all of you choosing not to be victims and breaking the cycle of abuse.

One last thought - iin spite of my references to apartheid and the abuse of
apartheid, I realise that it is not only white people being abused, and that
SAs of all races are leaving.

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