| MEN ONLY JOKES Q. What should you do if you keep having problems with your computer? A. Marryit and it will never go down on you again. Q. How do you fix a woman's watch? A. You don't, there's one on thr oven. Q. Why do woman have sex with their eyes closed? A. Because they can't stand seeing men enjoying themselves. Q. What does a blonde do if she's not in bed by 10pm? A. She hails a cab and goes back home. Q. How do you get a nun pregnant? A. Fuck her. Q. How do you get a nun pregnant? A. Dress her up as an alter boy. Q. Why don't witcheswear underpants? A. So they can get a better grip on the broom. Q. Why don't pygmy woman use tampons? A. Because they would keep tripping over the string. Q. How many battered woman does it take to change a light bulb? A. Just one, if they know what's good for them. Q. What's the difference between a lost golfball and a mounted policewoman? A. One's a hunt on a course. Q. How do you know when your red headed girlfriend has finally forgiven you? A. She stops washing your clothes in the toilet. Q. How do you blind a woman? A. Put a windscreen in front of her face. Q. What's similar about a blowjob from an 80 year old and tight rope walking? A. In both cases it's best if you don't look down. Q. What's the first thing a blonde learns at driving school? A. That you can sit upright in a car. Q. What's the difference between PMT and BSE? A. One's mad cow disease and the other is an agricultural infection which affects cattle. Q. What's the best thing about marrying a woman with leprosy? A. She will onky give you lip once. Q. Why is a wife like a parole officer? A. Neither of them will let you finish a sentence. Q. What do you calll a spice girl in a toaster? A. A pop tart. Q. What's the difference between a sperm whale and a dyke? A. About six pairs of overalls. Q. When are beer and your mother inlaw at their best? A. When their cold, opened and on the table. Q. What's the difference between a radical feminist and a shopping trolley? A. A shopping trolley will occasionally display a mind of it's own. Q. What's a female bisexual? A. A lesbian with car trouble. Q. What do you call it when a man talks dirty to a woman? A. Sexual harassment. Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? A. $4.99 a minute. |
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