| MEN ONLY JOKES Q.Why did the woman cross the road? A. The question is "what is she doing out of the kitchen". 10 things woman should say 1. Could our relationship be more physical, I'm tired of just being friends. 2. Go ahead leave the toilet seat up. 3. I think hairy bums are sexy. 4. Wow! Get a whiff of that one, do it again please. 5. Please don't throw that T-shirt away the holes are just too cute. 6. This diamond ring is much too big you should buy me a smaller one. 7. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow. 8. Gee, It really is ten inches. 9. Does this make my bum too small. 10. I'm wrong once more, so I guess you must be right again darling. Q. Did you know that scientists have discovered a new food that lowers a woman's sex drive by 90%? A. It's called a wedding cake. Q. How many Ellens does it take to unscrew a light bulb? A. Just one, but it takes a year to get it out of the closet. Q. How do get a blonde to marry you? A. Tell her she's pregnant. Q. What will she say? A. Is it mine. Q. How do get a blonde off her knees? A. Come Q. What do woman and stingrays have in common? A. Both have flaps you can eat. Q. Why do woman fake an orgasm? A. Because they think men care. Q. What is "Making Love"? A. It's what's your girlfriend does while you fuck the shit out of her. Q. What's Pauline Hanson's favourite film? A. 101 dam Asians. Q. How do you plant dope? A. Bury a blonde. Q. Did you hear about the blonde pilot who crashed her helicopter? A. She got cold so she turned off the fan. Q. What did the blonde think of her new laptop? A. Sha didn't like it because it couldn't get channel nine. Q. What's the difference between a pussy cat and a woman's pussy? A. One chews it's food, the other swallows it whole. Q. Why did Mary have a little lamb? A. Because she was a kiwi. Q. Why did cavemen pull their woman by the hair? A. Because they tried pulling them around by their feet but they filled up with mud. Q. How do men help around the house? A. By dropping their clothes around where they're easy to pick up. Q. What do cal a drug smugglers vagina? A. A dopey cunt. Q. What does 'lufthansa' stand for? A. Let us fuck the hostesses and not say anything. |
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