 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Random Quotes |
|
|
|
page 2 |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
"If I could fry and egg off his chest, I'd be happy.
Hot guy: $200
Breakfast foods: $15
Not having to use any utensils: PRICELESS"
- Abby |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"I just want a f---ing cup of tea!"
- me |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
me: "Wasn't that the same prostitute we drove by last night?"
Abby: "Obviously she still hasn't made rent." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Man, I don't care if they DO have blue grass in Lexington. Ours is green, so you should stay here!"
- Abby |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(over AIM)
Mike D: oh god damnit, the kitten just pissed on my bed
Mike D: how can something so cute be so foul |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Our parents have 'bipolar parenting.' "
- Mark |
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Last week Bush interrupted my soaps to tell me that he had had 'A great conference' but that he couldn't tell me anything about it.... I almost called NBC."
- Christine |
|
|
|
|
|
|
"We need to get an appartment together. We could even rescue Alaine. We'll establish a Halfway House but call it a Three-quarters House. 'You're almost there!' "
- Abby |
|
|
|
|
|
|
"There's no need to spasm! Stop it!"
- Me, yelling when I was trying to drive stick |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"I'm almost too drunk to drink."
- Beth |
|
|
|
|
|
|
"They've been dating for several years and they're getting married this month. But the thing is, they're both still in college. What are they going to register for - books?"
- Sarah |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Girl at party: "What's he looking for?"
- Beth: "His dignity." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
"SOME men are like dogs. You can only TEACH them how to behave. It doesn't mean that they won't still hump your leg in public."
- me |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"If I was a little kid, I'd be afraid of clowns. They're scary! They've got big noses, painted faces, all those bright colors.... That's not normal."
- Seth |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Christine ordered a Big Mac at McDonald's. This normally wouldn't be a big deal, except this is what her order looked like:
One Big Mac
-w/o meat
-w/o special sauce
-add cheese and tomatoes
(So she basically got bread, with condiments.)
Christine: "I wonder if people ever order a Big Mac without the bread? A 'meat sandwich!' You know, like if they're on that Atkins diet."
Me: "Yes, and I'd like a vanilla shake without meat, please." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Me: "He just kept staring at me. That's the most anyone's kept eye contact with me. THEN he said, 'you have green eyes, too.' "
Heather: "Oh God. Yeah - that was a little obvious. He was probably thinking 'we could have green-eyed babies!' " |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Ben read that a movie we were about to watch was rated "R" for "Brief adult language." He was confused so I gave him an example. Speaking as fast as I could, I said, "Fuck!" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mom: "The boys that rent from us on Honeycreek are male cheerleaders. I refer to them as 'The Honey Boys.' "
Me: "That sounds like 'The Hardy Boys.' Now if they did backflips AND solved crimes, I'd be impressed. In other words, THAT would be worth an Arbor Mist." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
1 |
|
2 |
|
3 |
|
4 |
|
next |
|
|
back |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
home |
|