| October 17, 2002 6:00 pm So, today was pretty discouraging and I decided to update because it's a good way to vent. Well, maybe...... I had a poli sci midterm today and we even got the questions ahead of time. The readers chose 3 of the 6 questions we were given and we were told to answer 2. Last night I was pretty confident that I could answer the questions pretty decently and Kevin and I spent a couple hours just going over the answers and we felt like we were ready. So I sat down to take the test and my mind went blank. And I sat there writing and then crossing stuff out because I could not get my thoughts to coherently flow in an essay. And my brain felt like mush. (Christine says it's all the coffee I've been consuming lately.) Anyway, halfway through the midterm I seriously wanted to cry and go home because I just couldn't write anything that resembled a decent answer and I was so mad at myself and so frustrated that I couldn't say what I thought I wanted to say. It's hard to explain. It was just a really awful feeling and everyone around me was writing furiously and I couldn't form good sentences about anything relevant, let alone a good essay. So when class was over, I walked out ready to hit my head against a wall because I was so upset that the midterm had gone so badly. So I went to get a mocha. Probably not a good idea to drink MORE coffee but I was sad and I wanted something to cheer myself up. =) The one good thing about this whole midterm experience was that it really humbled me. I was feeling so confident that I could pull out a pretty decent grade on this test and then I sat down and it was like, "oh my goodness, i hope i pass". But yeah, it was a very humbling experience and it's always good to have those times when God shatters your pride, cuz I think pride is a struggle for me. So I am thankful that God is teaching me humility. But dude, learning humility is HARD and really not that fun. But God knows what He's doing. So I trust Him. =) I don't want this to be a depressing update so I will share something happy too! =) I think Emily is really cool. We went to have our first day of counseling training at the crisis pregnancy center but it got cancelled. So we drove home again. But it was fun just chatting with her. I'm glad she's my "Lee sister" and I'm glad she's very random. She's a WARRIOR! =) And she tries to pass on that warrior-ness she's learned to others and I think that's great! =) Hee hee... I also like random phone calls. Like Hannah called me today. Granted, it was just to ask me if I was going to AACF today, but it was nice talking to her on the phone all the same. I'm super glad she's still in Berkeley cuz it's fun to think, I could just walk over there and see her and talk to her face to face instead of just talking to her on the phone. Hee hee... People are cool. God's creations are awesome. And I'm very thankful for brothers and sisters who encourage and build people up so well. There's a lot of those in SFC and I think that's really neat. =) |