Sober by Sunday

Part or pieces of your pleasant dream…
Smile or laugh or something in between
They grip like dog mother gentle teeth
To drag you away or perhaps beneath
Sucking like a child on swollen thumb
Who found their comfort in the numb
Each day more sober than the last 
Cutting so much deeper by contrast
A tiny bit of warmth surrounds this cure
Though clear minds make a deeper lure
Sunday morning blurs are loathsome
A sticky fire reaching to succumb


Holding Passionately

You, wrapped around me tightly; I feel like vines
Interwoven so completely that we never end
We are gently breathing in and out in unison
Forever binding breath as one and the same
Hearts are beating, pumping heat through veins
Leading down a worn eroded path of flesh
Wet with dew, emerging from the soft skin
Dripping from the parted lips that do not begin
I am drowning with each moan we let escape
Unable to find a surface or see where we swim
Unwilling to stop breathing even if it hurts
My fingers have merged with your spine
My chest and yours are pressed so close
I fear they may combine but I won’t let go
I will not loose you from my tired arms
Even after breathing stops and eyes close
I will not let you go and become alone again


Blood on My Hands

Bearing this is killing me
Love was not the reason
Over and over I tell myself
One time means nothing
Death is only a release

Of course I haven’t cried
Not shed one single tear

Morrow will never come
Yet I will not forget her

Her form was peaceful
Another beautiful pose
Not quite like any other
Devoid and unmoving
Staining red the moment


My Conscience is a Figment of my Imagination

My friend, he gnashed through tearful teeth
He quickened with his fretful brow unheard
He crawls like skin through every breath of mine
I heard him through my darkest nights
Whispers of an unknown past, sincere but gone
I paced for all this love to not be rushed
But all at once I felt it deafen me and mine
Understanding washed it down to deeper depths
Where truth and dreams were bloody lovers
A smile was lost to scratchy eyes closing
A boy was lost the same inside his clothing
Unraveled in a tone of sanctity oppressed
The dos and have-nots abundant steps
Torn, dry-eyed and more permanent now
Hell bent forever towards the thorny bush
He goaded time with conceded crown
Broke and touched me into breathing
His ice hand shook from lack of summer
Shouldered all resentment, alive untouched
A penitent disaster of some scar moment
Perhaps a raptor’s teeth he cried amongst
A shallow shadow man to dig this deep grave
Toppled as I listened lively ever grasping
My friend, he gnashed his dreams at me
He frightened with his fingers narrow
Ever pointing to this heart black cross
Which I have carved out of my hollow soul


White Elephant

The elephant reminded me of secrets
It sat square in our living room for years
Throughout my childhood it reared it’s head
But no one really ever noticed it.

When friends were over, we would hide it
We’d put it under the rug and laugh
Pretend we didn’t know what it was
Even though everyone saw the lump

A few times I tried to tell people about it
But nobody would ever believe it
I mean… a white elephant in your house?
The house was much too clean for that.

When law enforcement became involved
We even had to get rid of it for a while
But eventually it found it’s way back
And dad always kept it hidden best.

Dad would parade it around all day
Make it do tricks and make loud noises
Then make sure no one spoke a word
To anyone who didn’t already know.

Sometimes it wasn’t very safe
I got hurt pretty bad a few times
A broken wrist here, always bruises
We told the doctors I fell, no elephant

At Christmas we would all gather round
The Christmas tree slightly off to the side
To make room for the elephant to run
I always hated Christmas the most

And I always hated that elephant too
Although I would never tell anyone
Instead, I’d tell my dad I hated him
And he’d just let the elephant keep me quiet

When I moved out on my own at last
I almost got my own elephant for my home
But some friends who didn’t like secrets
Convinced me it was too much upkeep.


Late Mourning

I pet my dog today and lost my fingers,
One red smear across the sky.
It growled and I came away lame.
Although it’s fur came out in clumps
And my shoes now hold blood and bone.
I told her shhh… Don’t cry for me…
But still hear the rasping whimpers.
The coins dropped at my feet bring no comfort
And the cold holds no remorse.
Somewhere in all of this I’ve learned to see,
But feel perhaps it’s time to close my eyes
And pet my dog and close my mouth
And grow a new hand to touch my face
Or tell everyone why the tears took so long.



Temptation

My eyes befriend this dance of passion,
They watch and sparkle with her movement,
She walks sinuous… lips pouting perfect,
Her skin is soft, warm and ripe for biting.

I long to touch this pastel pleasure skin,
To meet these entrancing near black eyes,
My mind wanders, lost in curves of flesh,
I have forgotten even learning caution.

The scene around her wanders to me,
Neon tubes and cold hard concrete,
Passerby’s in happy content dazes,
Or gawking in a stupor at the beauty.

She is a shining star amongst the rot
Of street corner junk and trashy people
Her finger invites each man that passes
A spontaneous smile practiced to perfection.

As my turn comes and our eyes lock
It was not what I expected in the least
Not quite empty, and not quite real.
I almost heard her crying out for something

My own eyes somehow lost control.
And glazed with tears of complex crystal,
As her story played out in my mind,
Of loss and regret, pain and flesh.

Her smile faltered… straightened,
And she looked away, vulnerable.
Still, I do not know if I approached,
Or lost my chance at imperfection.


Hell Bent

Carefully conscious, quietly contagious
Flower bud lips bloom to smile flesh
Tasted trembling from vulnerable eyes
Sunk my nails thick in her disguise

Sensitively sober, child smiling,
Seamlessly flow down the wild, dying
Loathsome to my skin the pinprick
A tired gentle touch, pseudo quick.

Jet black all-pupil eyes perform
Charcoal constant burned to warm
Soul searching soft, she touched me
Abrupt as a cool breath of sanity

There is no beauty I forget
The temptations, the simple test
The touches, purely wrought
Or those lessons freedom taught

Dangerously red rose under luck
Fingers bleeding painted touch
I lived more in that warm moment
Than had I touched, to hell bent


Sleepless Kiss

Waiting for that long hard kiss
It gnaws at me as tortured bliss
A kind reality known to me
Only as a sleepless dream

Longing for the tears to dry
It sings to me as I lay and cry
The soft comfort of human touch
Quickly turns from love to lust

Just don’t… don’t let me go
Waited my entire life to know
That all I want is something real
One emotion for me to feel.

If only I could sleep again
Could rest and not pretend
But I stare at ceilings lined in lips
Waiting for that long hard kiss



Not so Innocent

Red vines entwined her in her innocence
Cut like lies into her pale skin
Pain grating as if in self defense
My eyes closed and saw her falling in

The dark blood of self abuse
The darker smile of defiance 
The shady tears of breaking loose
Paled with hindsights dance

Her love opened unto me much like a book
Her hate stormed down like pelting rain
I swore I'd love no matter what it took
But nothing knew the latest pain

Upon the floor it stuck like dreams
Weblike, wonderful and mocking
Laughing as though tearing at the seams
Life caught me almost dead... walking

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