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It is a sunny winter morning, freezing but not with much wind. There is a sense of danger in the air. The warmth spreads out in the classroom as the sunshine spills, but the isolation possesses me. The smile on face hides the depression which has been with me ever since he left. How I wish someone would notice this and rebuild my faith again. Until then, I guess I will just keep being a fake. At least, I could be real if you try to reach me. However, the desire still burns in me and there is nothing I can do. Scott is sitting there, the other corner of the room, chatting with other girls. "What is one to do?" "What is one to do?" It catches me again and again like a nightmare. So gentle and tender, yet untamed like the breeze in wild. I continually remind myself the "impossibility" of this romantic complex, a fantasy, or worse, a dream. "No one will love you as the way you dream of! It will be good enough if they don't harm you!" The voice seize my like fetters. I am as blue as blue can be, but can't help faking the smile on my face.
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